Saturday, September 30, 2006

We Go Thru All the Same Lines or Sell Out to Appease But Go to Sleep in a Bed of Lies

The hometown boys, Spoon, with yet another sold out days in advance show at Emo's. Spoon is brilliant, I've blogged about them a million times before.

Just insert good things, more good things, yet more good things. This song is about one of those dreaded dudes by day, females by night, video taken from a taping of Austin City Limits.

Also semi-noteworthy, my first tailgating (sp?) experience as the horns beat Sam Houston State by about a million points.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Jose Can You See

The worse night ever to not have a camera, for I had the 'money shot,' front row center. The classical guitar parts were amazing to actually see, an interesting sytle. Amazing the fickle-ness of the Austin crowd, it's almost like, yea, Jose is here, cool, he'll be here in a few months again, so yea, cool, we're cool, etc.

Well Jose, wearing his wonderful horizontal striped shirt, and I heard someone refer to him as looking like the Spurs own Ginobli. Jenny actually chatted with him for a bit, the best I can do is the dreaded camera phone picture.

Great show for 15 bucks, the opener 'Death Vessel' is very noteworthy as well, check out his stuff, Providence Rhode Island is where he calls home.

Never making it 'home' last night.....staying at Mike D's place, means wearing the same clothes to work as the day before, my coworkers are lucky! hahahaha

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Boring Birthday Rant

Today I turn 30, something everyone tells me is a big deal in terms of birthdays, however, the status quo response.....'I don't feel any different?'

I'd like to think of it like Jeff Buckley once said before the undercurrent of the mighty Mississippi sucked him under.....'Too young to hold on, too old to just break free and run.' Before I can really grasp what I'm too old for, and what I'm still young enough for, I have to reflect on the past, and make a current assessment of my life.

How did I get here? How did I one day wake up staying with my wonderful sister, owning a house I don't live in?, and thanks Collin for letting me 'use' your room. How have I managed to create friendships, mangle them, still hold on to them, and grow with them? What exactly is 'friend and family opinion' of Robert?..... as I'm sure, as with everyone, we are fodder for conversation in various circles.

I've lived life by experience and not discipline to this point, and I don't regret a single minute of it, except that balance on the credit card. I've crossed the pond 5 times, but I barely have a 'pot to piss in.' I've went to more live shows than probably a bottom third of my hometown combined causing a very lopsided state of mind, as as Cake says, yes, the liver does pain dearly now for youthful magic moments.

I've had big, and will continue to have them. The accountant analogy is to plug the holes in your leaky financial bucket of life.....well my philosophy is to figure out how to get more water in the bucket, letting a continuous flow of water in and out. (I just love the cheesy analogies).
Material possessions in life are second, doesn't mean I don't have em', don't want em', just that I'd rather go see the Toshi-meister in Japan instead of the new bedroom suite. I'd rather go see Man Man in a few weeks instead of happy hour with the Smiths, and I'd rather watch a good show on YouTube than your average sitcom. Is there anyway you can interface youtube with the big tv?

What does that leave for the future, well maybe the future looks so bright I gotta wear shades, but maybe I'll be doomed to hell due to being scatterbrained. I look at my fellow '30 somethings' and admire parents (especially my sistas), people who have it figured out (or at least think they do -- which means they don't do the sniff test of clothes laying on the floor and say 'that'll do for today'), and their ability to live more comfortably as disciplines make way for the different experiences of parenthood, badasses in careers, etc, etc.

If you're young, not a democrat you have no heart, if you're old and not republican, you have no brain. Doubt that, if you vote before you look at the issue and the individual, you're a fool, no matter what age.

What do I have to enhance......? Binge drinking, Social circles and interaction, career choices, maybe start listening to Michael Bolton, maybe Preporation H, increased family participation, learning when to go to bed, taking better care of what I eat, what I wear, what I think, what I say, who I say it to, and understanding that a brutally honest opinion is the best way to go, but a lot can't deal with it, being more aware that every decision carries with it trade-offs, learning to be in touch more with pop culture in terms of TV and American football otherwise I'll be a lonely mofo.

And most importantly figuring out a way to interact with the big wide world, I'm captivated by it, and can't get enough of it....truth is stranger than fiction, and unbiased unadulterated opinions (AKA THE TRUTH and ANSWERS) are sooner found on the net rather than the tv......thanks for that AL.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

broadcast yourself

youtubes slogan, well off and on I've been dabbling with this highly addictive site. read a bit, youtube a bit, go do whateva, youtube a bit, you get the picture

My YouTube Site -- been uploading and checkin' stuff out

Don't forget 'hans'

Or Frank jammin the Def Leppard in Deutschland

Friday, September 15, 2006

o inverted world

What a shot of inspiration when I see these fellas. It seems as if they'd be great people to hang out with, they are un-normally normal.

The Stubb's crowd is amazing, as I talk to my friend Melinda, a Shins newbie, and say, have you ever seen the 'very back rows' of Stubb's go crazy like this? They engage the audience of a show more than anyone I've seen except Radiohead.

The lights camera action was fantastic, I love the lead singers intensity, and they are just pretty f'in symmetrically correct on stage.

All the hits were played, and my posse was the only ones singing along with the new tunes. Stayed tuned, they said the new album was finished a few days ago.

A youtube movie of mine --- Great light show, as you can see we were about 5,000 rows back. i could write about em' all day, you either get it or you don't, for those of you that get it, you know what I mean.

Join the Struggle While You May, The Revolution is Just a T-Shirt Away, Waiting for the Great Leap Forward

Today as I sat at Wendy's eating my set of 10 nuggets, I couldn't help but feel like the dude in Sideways, the one that drank the 'perfect' bottle of wine out of the paper cup. I've vowed never to blog on a sour stomach, when I'm in a crappy mood, or it's raining, well all three are happening at the moment, hence a really critical posting.

Life really does suck right now, I'll expound a bit later, but first I'm grateful for the people around me that 'take care' of me. Props to my sister and the family for providing me a roof over my head and great food that's making my belly fat, props to great friends who are there for me, even though I'm probably not the easiest person to deal with, and I do appreciate the patience and objectivity in the select few. I had a conversation with my friend Amy over pizza the other night, and as we exchange views on life, her rebuttal from the venom that comes out of my mouth is 'wow, that's a really cynical and sad perspective on things.' indeed it is, indeed it is.

Everyone seems to be getting married these days, so I figure I'd bash on the institution itself. I'm not religious, I don't see sanctity in it anymore as the divorce rate climbs. Really, is it human nature to be committed to someone? I look at all the bullshit most couples endure and think, man I'd rather shoot myself in the head then compromise my principles and turn off my brain and not awknowledge when things are truly f*cked up. Is there a silver lining in the cloud, hell no, it's just what you are conditioned to believe. It is natural for people to be with each other, but in the 'new world', this bonding is based on insecurity. Hell in the olden days, things were practical, social interaction was much simpler, but in today's day and age for an ambitious person, it's very hard to find someone that won't hold you back. I don't get into any relationship simply because I haven't found the balance of someone to challenge me, and someone I can add value to their life, without having to deal with logistical bs (i.e. what's for lunch, come cuddle with me and watch Seinfeld, etc, etc, etc), it's just not the way I want to live life. (I mean I'm not apposed to cuddling, but rather with a nice Beatles record rather than the boob toob).

It's hard for me to wake up these days, I don't like my job, many times I feel stupid, I'm triple booked, I'm associated with things I'd don't want to be associated with, and I'm maxed out like a credit card (literally and figuratively). After a house payment, rent payment, car payment, gas, food, I have just enough money a month to tease myself about trips I really can't afford to take, and often times I feel the world passing me by, even though I'm doing all I can to be engaged in the fast paced world.

As all this goes on I'm still very very hopeful as a human being knowing that I'm a wise person building my house on the rock. I have justifications for my stagnation in life, even though I think it's much harder for emotionally intelligent (self proclaimed) to focus, but I'm doing the best I can. I don't see life as a puzzle that needs solving, I'm curious, I have too many options, and I will carry the same emotional baggage anywhere I go, but at the same time I will be happy and hopeful anywhere I go. I don't need validation by a less than inspiring relationship, I don't need a 'pep talk' from people that say I need to get out of my current job, so on and so on. I take care of myself, and myself first 90% of the time, I think if everyone did that in the world, relationships would be 90% better than they are, and there certainly would be lot more respect for your mates in the world. Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving, that's my personality type according to this pop-psychology survey, key point to that, 'introverted' not that I hate people, it means that I get energy from looking inward, and don't feel the need to gravitate towards people.

My hero Thom once said that being an adult means covering your own cracks, and what a shame that this is true. As a human being and an adult, I try to expose my cracks, in order to get the support and reassurance that every human needs. The weak use denial and projection, the strong use introspection, and that's what I'm working towards.

Thru it all, I may have rose colored glasses on, but there is soooo much stupid shit going on in the world, that it is inevitable that the pendulum will swing the other way. People will become more introspective, people will look at their lives and gravitate towards things and people who are a fundamental positive influence on their lives. Big businesses that are 'pieces of shit' like Ernon will be replaced by businesses with integrity. Neoconservatives may understand the concept of the internet and use it as a world binding agent, by, perish the though, having a penpal from 'the axis of evil' or china, or russia or somewhere that will open their minds and realize that they aren't the only people on the planet, and the blanket thought 'let's drop a bomb on their asses, let our God and government solve everything' isn't a fix.

I have to single out this guy (the dizzle) and this guy (the laborer), pillars in the ideological 'better world' I speak about. People who can just look at something and go 'that's f*cked up, and have the strength, courage, and ability to awknowledge real problems and the tenacity to support real solutions.

That's enough spittle for today, like Billy Bragg says......waiting for that great leap forward. Proceeding with boldness but caution.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Long Walks on the Beach, The Press will Impeach

Ben Kweller, a really likeable dude put on a great show at La Zona Rosa. I've seen him a gazillion times, and anyone who hasn't seen him show go out and do themselves a favor and get a load of his quirky humor and stage performance. Not for long, but he's got his album out for a 'myspace exclusive.'

Why I like him, he's real, and that's the attitude he sends out, reading his myspace page, he's a very enthused human that doesn't take anything for granted (like mamma said don't you let it go to your head), many songs are bubble gum, but yet charming, and he does look inside, something the average modest mouse ripoff doesn't attempt.

Tomorrow, the place to be is at the sold out Shins show at Stubbs, I'm not going to ACL, but I'm catching a lot of the runoff.


The question is why is getting hit so hard by spammers, therefore me, and when are the going to get that sh*t fixed! I don't think Diane (girl with big bust), Jill (girl with thong hanging out), Sandy (girl with nice a$$), etc, etc, etc, x10 WANT to be my friend, because I'm such and attractive and handsome dude with a great personality. I read that myspace gets more 'page views' than anyone on the web, even google, well I have officially turned MY myspace notifications off, and if I wouldn't get great music references from the site, this spamming that they can't seem to fix has brought me to my last straw.

Sad part about it when you look at these for lack of a better term 'hot chick spammers' on myspace, you look at their 'friend list' and there's all these meatheads posting comments, 'baby you're hot' etc, etc, etc. Poor folks, don't know that they are victims of some desperate porn rings attempt at making money to pay the rent. Why stoop so low as to porn spam myspace, and how gullible do you have to be to fall for it?

PS -- Do you think 'Tom' gets a lot of 'tail' from that job? hahahaha

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

across the planes of texas, from sea to shining sea

i'm blogging because i stayed with mike d last night, and he wakes up at the crack of dawn.

i'm going to be one of the bloggers that rants about the 911 show on abc, man what a mess, sure it's a drama, but the ideas hold true. the institutions are intact to prevent terrorism, we just have to use them, instead of everyone acting like kids. who cares if it was clinton getting a bl*wjob, bush talking to elementary school kids (the only people he understands, and vice versa), or if you work for the FBI, CIA, military, etc, etc --- what fell thru the cracks can be of simply deduced to kids arguing and one saying, 'I don't want to play anymore, I'm going to take my ball home.'

I'm a patriot, I love America and always have just as much as these 'bandwagon patriots.' What the movie said that I tend to gravitate towards is that after 911, terrorism will not considered a crime anymore, rather a war. So what you got all over the world (esp after the infamous 'axis of evil' speech) is nutjobs using a hatred for the United States as political fuel for their causes. Iran says, f*ck you Bush, we are going to enrich uranium, N. Korea, yea we are gonna launch some test missiles, like it or not. one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. The neo-conservatives in this country try to say that 'the places that harbor terrorists' aren't safe, meaning that anywhere there is a 'terrorist' is fair game. Can everyone see the absurdity in this wack a mole hunt for terrorists? Many people think all the availble terrorists in the world just hopped a plan to baghdad and started fighting 'for terrorists sake', this is totally absurd. these people are smarter and lighter on their feet than us, and by no means structured, mobilized or organized, and THAT is their power. all it takes is a few bad people in ANY place with a political agenda (i.e., Germany, Spain, FLORIDA, etc) to cause 911.

You don't fight 'a war' on terror with conventional bombs, in this case you fight it with less beurocracy and intelligence and greater identity control. THINK PEOPLE, look past the blue and the red and the real issues, it was a collective f*ckup, and let's learn from it, so that the 911 commission report card thingy shows all A's.

And for the record, I know when Baghdad and Kabul are safe when GW sends the twins down there to party.

Friday, September 08, 2006

A Man in my Shoes Runs a Light, All the Papers Lie Tonight, But Falling Over You, Is the News of the Day

Ga Ga Goo Goo, for the Counting Crows and the Goo Goo Dolls at VWA, my old stompin' ground. Backdrop was great, hangin' out in the cheap seats as it rained, which would be not that great, but since it hasn't rained in forever, it added to the enjoyment of the evening.

Goo Goo Dolls and Counting Crows both played to the audience, one point Mr Goo took a mexican flag from the audience and draped himself in it, while Mr Crow gave his two cents about voting and aids, and the list seemed to go on and on.

It sure was an evening for 'soft rock' as the sign depicts, just look at big ol' mean bob lookin' like a pretty boy in front of the sign.

Ran into Kurtis Pohl on the evening, and he HAD to have been there for the chicks he was with, throughout the night I bashed the Goo Goo Dolls, and as a spoof I would look him in the eyes and say things like 'And I'd Give Up Forever to Touch You', in fine goo fashion. I remember y'all girls trying to get me to buy y'all a beer, tough luck, but I'm glad y'all had luck with Kurt.

The umbrellas came out, made for some great visuals of the place. The highlight of the evening was the Crows playing 'The Ghost in You' --- and come on, you have to play Mr Jones EVERY F*CKIN' NIGHT OF THE TOUR, that just like going to see Skynard and they don't play Freebird!?!?

Maybe some other time I'll go on with a trip down memory lane about these tunes as I jammed them in High School.

All in all, it was a great vibe to be back in San Antonio (did I just say that?) -- A toast to my homie Steve, still escorting the rich people in the VIP.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Running around robbing banks all wacked off of Scooby Snacks

9.30am -- Tam comes to me and says 'I'm sick of this sh*t, SQL Reports, Crystal Reports, f*ck, I wish these people would make up their minds, this sh*t isn't compatible, and I don't like working with this old sh*t.

Which got me thinking about the language of a true techie, and how I'm in many ways a technologist at heart. What other jobs changes so quickly, and what more difficult of an area is integration than in technology, it's difficult to do it well (and is amazing that mother nature does it perfectly, just wait till she burps us off the planet.)

Problem with technology is a career path, I'm 'Senior Programmer,' where else do I have to go, 'Senior Senior Programmer?' Truth is I want to pursue a career in which I'm able to make decisions that count, and I really don't want to talk about data grid optimization and information technology information libraries for the next 20 years.

Different sh*t, different day at my job, that's the ONLY thing I like about it. Where else can you wear so many different hats, kinda like growing up in a small town, you could play all sports, etc. Problem is you would think one day the boat will sink, be rest assured, taxpayer dollars will keep it afloat, and be sure to jump off before it hits the iceberg.

Jobs in technology create the most interesting people, just walk around a typical IT shop and you could put a pretty good band together, collaborate and expand the imagination in regards to outer space, nanobots, codes, and surprisingly enough, history. How else would I have known the decembrists were a bunch of nobel russian (i'd say the t word, the p word, or the c word but people don't like those words) wimps that foiled the first Russian revolution.

Whatever the career (god pity the accountants), I'm glad there's great people around the world fighting the good fight, and keeping things running, so I can have food on the table, gas in the car, and a Goo Goo Dolls / Counting Crows concert (I'll be sure to bring the lighter). I wonder if the Counting Crows realized the irony of the cover of 'Big Yellow Taxi' by Joni? As for me, I diversify my stock as a human being, because a one track minded mofo ain't no fun to talk with.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

pure energy

every 'good' writer has a point to writing, well that makes me NOT a good writer, but here's a state of the union address of random musings and points to ponder. everything hits at once like spoon says, but when does it stop hitting?

i've come to the dreaded fork in the road in many aspects of my life, unfortunately being a high strung individual, either road doesn't seem like its more or less work, because things are what you make of them. i tend to make good at what i do, but there is self inflicted emotional baggage and stress that follows me any and everywhere i go. i've got two headhunters looking for me a job in europe, studying, transitioning out of a role at the non-profit i help with, and if that all works out, i sell my vdub, and i'll be vacationing to all sorts of places, hoping the socialists don't tax all my money away. i suppose the road 'more travelled' is a domestic job, job follows pmp cert, place of my own to live follows new job, and it will be 5 minutes away from where i work.

love gets you in the gut. last friday night i spent the evening downing a few beers on the patio, playing chess on the internet, and also having a talk with my close friend erin from age six, and damn she puts things into perspective. we talk about love and fidelity, and boil it down to, and most have probably heard this before, but it was new to me.....'the man needs to feel respected, the woman needs to feel loved', basically in some way shape or form....or some shit is hitting some fan.....seems easy i suppose, i ask her 'what's my problem', and she says that i'll have to go thru an 'adjustment' phase in which i have to adjust to being a 'boring' person before i can choose to be a domesticated person. i understand her point, point taken, but my counter-question is where does the color go once people are committed. in gaining security and stability, why is charisma and color lost? why do the single chicks wear 'belly shirts' and committed chicks opt for comfort? do people who decide to be committed sit back and think....hmmm 'where will this be in 5 years, how bout 10, how bout 20' and make their decisions with future implications in mind? sure things have gotten harder in life, my momma and daddy lived acrossed the street from each other, and fell in love and made a practical love work, being great mates for each other, and for sure great parents to all 8 of us kids. but at this day and age, the flat world, hot or not, eharmony, and all the sinnin' and lustin' goin' on at the bars, there is an abundance of choice and temptation, hence, 'true love' is truly something special these days. true love is when your gal can look at the chick wearing the 'belly shirt' and not feel insecure that her man wants to 'hit that sh*t.' when it's right, a nice butt will only get you by for 15 minutes, after that, you have to stand for something. it comes down to inspiration....someone who leaves the stars in your belly, or the butterfly feeling in the stomach..... i think that's the case.

uncertainty is in the air in my life, tis' a blessing and a curse. the love bug is also in the air, mike d....hold out on me brotha, you are the only one left!

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Tiny Bubbles in the Wine, Make Me Happy, Make Me Feel Fine

Everyone knows it as the place just above Waco where you stop and get kolaches and other Czech pastries, but on labor day weekend, it's home to the Westfest. Personally I know the Czech Stop as a place to grab a Red Bull and gas on the way home from concerts in Dallas. Once we had to pick my English buddy Neil up from the Dallas airport, and while driving thru Waco, he said in his British accent 'Holy Shit Mate, this is Waco, is this where the Branch Davidians did their thing.' Indeed it is.

This celebration is just as fun as the Wurstfest, nope, that's not the god bless America red, white and blue in the tent, that's the colors of the Czech Flag.

There were many activities in which i partook for the evening, one of them being an authentic Czech clothing catwalk, in which I actually got to meet Ms. Czech Texas!

Jeannie let 'the husband' go to the event, which was great, considering I drank 5 tall boys of Coors (beer strong enough for a man, made for a woman).

Kyle had an excellent time on the evening, eating cotton candy, checking out the petting zoo, and riding the mini montana rusa, one that I myself would probably be scared to go on!

I enjoyed myself so much, I actually think I'll be heading back next year, situated on gently rolling hills, authentic food and beer and outfits, and don't forget the polkas.

And for the record, my brother Ronnie did make that accordion smoke.