Thursday, January 04, 2007

I have no Experience but I'm a Big Fan of Money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I Keep it in a jar. I'd like to put more in It.

It's that time of life, you know, everyone knows it, it's RESUME BUILDING TIME, and JOB INTERVIEW TIME!

Let's examine why I hate both of these things so badly. First off, the truth, I'm usually not nervous at a job interview, even when there is a board of 5 people throwing questions at you rapidly. I have no doubt about my skills and what's represented on my resume, and I can provide plenty 'meat' to cover the content I provide to a perspective employer.

Resumes -- Yea, you gotta beef that puppy up with a bunch of fluff half the time to 'get in the door.' You're bullshitting bullshitters so to speak, lacing the resume with keywords so 'bots' like Resumix will pick you up in the crowd, and if you are so lucky to get picked up by the bot, you are subject to 'evaluation' from an HR department that half the time doesn't know how to 'read between the lines.'

Interviews -- What is going to distinguish me from some other dillhole in the course of an hour long interview? Is it the way I present myself in that amount of time? I have to buy a suit for this experience, or Deanne Carter said it best for her poor date 'Did I shave my legs for this?' Tell me about yourself? It says here that....? Do you like to work by yourself or as a team? Or you can get let Googles complicated computer algorithm decide if you are the pawn that gets thru the door.

We really all know that who you know is just as important as what you know in a job hunt. When did the 'pure' human element get lost in all this stuff, and can you imagine that poor manager sitting at a desk somewhere going, 'What kinda craplications am I going to get today for this job that I need a 'good body' to fill?'

Well, I don't want to be that guy, I want to portray a realistic view of who I am. When that staffer looks at my resume, I want him to go hmmmm, it's got potential, do the meet and greet, get our job talk on, and in 6 months from that point, that person / organization will go 'Damn, I'm sure glad we hired that guy.'

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