Sunday, September 30, 2007

Pistols Shots Ring out in the Barroom Night, Enter Patty Valentine from the Upper Hall

What does it take to quell speech in someone that is outspoken? How about the much welcomed change of perspective in life. I've spoke many times about the job, many times about the move to a different city and hanging out with 'normal' people instead of hipsters all the time, but I haven't told you (the blog, and consequently a third person representation) of a special person who has been there for extended dialogue. The name is Jolen, and don't slap an 'e' at the end of that, she'll get mad at you, but sometimes I just call her Minnesota.

What did Minnesota do for Texas, and what did Texas do for Minnesota? Through a significant amount of dialogue over a long time, we've helped each other understand the path to true reconciliation in our lives comes from truly forgiving yourself then forgiving others. This has ushered in a sea change in my life that I'm not fully able to articulate at this juncture, but I like it. Don Henley once wrote a song, 'Heart of the Matter' in which he introduced the tune 'It took 42 years to write and 4 minutes to sing.' Forgiveness, Forgiveness.

Rest assured, the demons are still living inside me, but I feel like I've been able to suppress them better than ever. I think of Dylan a lot when I think of her, a lot of Dylan I'm just now beginning to understand (literally and figuratively). What better way to shine a light on something that's really changing in my life than to listen to a man I can 'grow into' emotionally while regardless of what happens with her, I can usher in a new era of my life. Ideas always change constantly in my head with new input.

What will happen with her? I'm excited to find out. She thinks I'm funny, she thinks I'm dorky, she listens to my rants on obscurities and abnormalities, she likes Ayn Rand, can cook, and I'm pretty sure I can convince her that if you like Nickelback you have no imagination and judgement in music. ;-) BUT she does like all of my stuff that's tagged 'good.'

I think she brings objectivity to the table for me, something I've never been able to bring to the table myself, she brings enough for the both of us. I will lose bad habits with her help, and she'll teach me a lot about things I don't know and vice versa. She's all about the attention to detail, and I love that, and didn't really understand this in the past.

A pub in MSP, the only non 'I look fat picture' we have together. Did I mention it's COLD up there?

On a personal note, this blog posting is significant to me. I've surpassed in my mind what I feel is a psychological / personal milestone in blogging about someone I care about. For those of you who don't understand, blog about yourself and probe, what you'll find is a complicated journey to self enrichment.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

I Have Learned a Mighty Lesson from this Change of Plans

Picture problems, lots of pictures in queue, but this tech guy is having technical difficulties. Cool things that have happened lately --

1 -- Eating with cousin Dave
2 -- Going to cousin Don's football game, hanging out with him Brad, Sarah, Casey, Kev
3 -- Random visit from Todd (a great buddy I used to work with) in Shiner

What's on my mind, lots and lots and lots of things. I've been listening to Bob Dylan a lot lately, a man who has paved his own road, and for that I admire. Some people are good at following the rules, and some people have content contrary to the rules. The contrary people are the ones who change the world, and that's where I want to be.

How does it happen? I have to 'play by the rules' until I learn what's wrong with them, and conjure up a plan to deviate.

I've learned a lot from the change of plans. I'm able to shine a spotlight on important things, family, career, stability and understand the difference between true human motivators and noise.

O, and PS, work is a lot of work.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Stretch a paycheck till it reaches, scratch my back right where it itches

Ordering my Papa John's pizza online, SERVER ERROR -- ......BUT it kept my pizza in the cart!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Demons, my Demons, Always Behind Me, Everywhere I go They Come Along, And Demons my Demons, Always Remind Me, They Keep Singing My Favorite Song

I'm not ready to feel good again, yea, all my vices are gone that held me so well. Mason Jennings says it perfectly. I once read somewhere to never eat alone, I say screw that, what's a boy like me supposed to do? Go steal some food, or have a sandwich every night?

When I have a bad they at work, this has become my 'go to' place, pondas catfish. Great catfish and extremely friendly staff, and its got a Mardi Gras theme to it, and the owner (I'm assuming) drives the X5 that's out in the lot every time I roll up in there.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

New Car, Caviar, Four Star Daydream, Think Ill buy me a Football Team

Eating lunch Saturday with my comrades I often think, damn there is a great mesh, lots of intelligence and brain power, being billed out at WAY more than they're getting in return. Why is it so hard to 'start a business.' I think its a much harder endeavor than most people think, it takes a lot of things to align, and a boat of luck.

I've always had debt and jet setting that comes in my way, but the debt is numbered in my life, so what will my excuse be then? I used to think in terms of how to execute the contract once it is awarded, now my thoughts focus on getting the contract, then figuring out how to do the work. The more 'professional' one becomes, the more this 'coalition' has to be loosely coupled, and especially in 'World 2.0', there is no micromanagement, but rather a focus on meeting objectives, clearly defined objectives.

I like to be 'the man who knows the man,' and my success in life thus far has been largely do to the fact I can make a few calls, and get what I need done, done. The smarter and luckier I get, the larger the stakes of these phone calls become.

In the meantime, the people I hold dear to me in the business world are doing what they should, moving, shaking, shifting, adapting, learning, growing, achieving. I've always thought if you ain't around this, you better find some way to GET around this attitude.

I've always been under the mindset that these people were in a few places, silicon valley and jet city. Going to both, you feel that oozing out of people. People walk with a purpose, and are achieving as the strive for more. Wherever you go, there you are is true to a point, but it does help to be around people who motivate you.

I think about myself and try to self discipline myself to think....Would I turn this in to myself if I were the boss? In doing so, I have began the strive turn in something you'd like to see if you were boss approach.

I want to be an overachiever, I want to have the answers.

In the meantime watch wait wish hope, and the cliches go, chance favors the prepared mind, and the luckiest people are the most hard working people, there is no coincidence in that.

An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, I'm on the dark side of the road

Instead of blogging I could be listening to the timeless wisdom of Bob Dylan in concert, but I'm old. Yea, I can hear you saying, you're only as old as you feel......well, I'm OLD. As much as I want to bash the festival like a true cynic, I can, this festival is hands down perfect.

Here's the view from the cheap seats, I just couldn't be bothered to get closer. View from Ben Kweller, right next to the port-o-potties, and the little dude runnin' from the cops b/c he was smokin' some week in one of them. Go little dude go!

View from Lucinda William, a nice spot that avoids the mass of humanity traffic between two stages. I found myself here often. Lucinda on the left, Regina on the right, what a combo.

View from Common, man he's good, damn good.

Mike P's lovely Laura and I with our sweet leaf tea bandana's. Those and my nephew Collin's baby sunscreen did the trick. The head is only one shade pink this evening.

Finally, I forgot the name of the place, but its a posh restaurant in Austin that had ACL grub. Here's a nice chicken advocado cole slaw wrap fried wonderfulness.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

She Came All the Way From America, Had A Blind Date with Destiny, And the sound of Te Awamutu, Had A Truly Sacred Ring

More ACL pictures, the little amount of shade reveals humans looking like cows scrounging for any area to rest from the sun. The migration patterns of people are fascinating here, find a tall hill and watch it all unfold.

The Gibson guitars which are about to leave town, this one was rhinstone'ish, looked pretty cool.

Don't know if its the 'cool' thing to do at every festival, $2 dollar water, but its an amazingly love attribute of the festival.

Sunburnt foot, buckets of sweat pouring from me the entire day.

County Line BBQ with some old co-workers, Lee, John, Garth and pregnant Steph, Tam and Houng. Great to see you guys again!

A picture couldn't be complete without Mike D and Mike P. Check out Mike P's pecks!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Things Ain't Cookin' In My Kitchen, Strange Affliction Wash Over me

Thought I'd died and gone to heaven. Crowded House from the second row.

A brief rundown, Queens - OK, Spoon - Good, Gotan Project - AMAZING, Kaiser Cheifs - great, Crowded House - wonderfully nostalgic, Killers - should have kept their 'Sams Town' stuff at home.

I was by a bunch of Aussies the entire time! Twas a touch of class, the band that is.

Don't dream it's over

Weather with You (while a few drops of rain started coming down)

Fall at your feet

Mean to Me, The opener

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Catholic School, As Vicious as Roman Rule, I Got My Knuckles Bruised by a Lady In Black

Cable modem one step closer to being fixed in the meantime, wifi enabled pub FINALLY and Bob and Mel's place.

Tomorrow I see Crowded House, why do I keep bringing this up? Well imagine a little zit faced Robert with hair back in the 80's listening to the only rock radio station that bleeds into Shiner, jammin' CH, then buying the cassettes, then just listening to the pure simplicity and honesty in Neil Finn's songwriting.

It also holds what I used to think, well, if I got married would be my 'wedding slogan.' It's always in the back of my mind, that next evolution in life that is, it's what fascinates me these days, how people make it work, and how many people live functionally dysfunctional lives in love.

"There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost, but you'll never see the end of the road while you're travelling with me."

It makes me happy thinking about sweating in the 100 degree weather tomorrow, all kinds of bands and people around me.

It makes me think of the simple things in life, things I wish I could train myself to wake up and feel every morning. Thinks like a freshly cleaned restroom after a pound or two of Rudy's BBQ, like tonight en-route to Bob's house.

My ping pong record for the evening, 5 wins, 1 loss. How did I lose you ask? Well, all that BBQ.

Long Before the Astronauts, The Soviets and the Science

Anyone want to know my schedule for ACL -- well, after I see Crowded House, I can die and go to heaven :) -- They were actually playing in MSP the night I left, damn the timing. Check out their greatest hits album, and I can't help but play the song 'Better Be Home Soon,' over and over in my head, because despite all the 'i hate san antonio' jargon in my head, I feel like I'm finally doing something right in life.


Paul Green School of Rock (got little buddies playing)
Crowded House
Queens of the Stone Age
Gotan Project
Killers (will kill me, but just to get it off the list)
Bjork (listening to weird mumblings for a while)


Willy Mason
Sound Team
Paolo Nutini
Steve Earl
St Vincent
Andrew Bird
---Go downtown point
(do i really have to pick b/w artic monkeys and damien rice? how bout death?)


Yo La Tengo
The National
Ben Kweller
Lucinda Williams
Regina Spector
My Morning Jacket
The Decemberists
Bob Dylan

Damn what days! -- Sure to cure a music drought :)

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

You Don't Need A Law Degree, To Set your Mind and Spirit Free

Lots to say since last post, will do it in bullet format in order of importance, and promise to elaborate more soon. I'm hanging out at six dollar internet an hour starbucks b/c inner city Esse don't know what a wireless coffee house is and Road Runner can lick....well.
  • Had a charming weekend in Minneapolis
  • Road runner sucks, I hate em, I'm really not diggin' San Antonio AT ALL -- not a good vibe here
  • Swimmin' in sin, that's what the cadillacs were doing a few weeks ago in Shiner at their booze fest to fund the church, hence splitting the towns resources in half
  • trying to figure out how to bring the long tail to the small town
  • observations on two humble people stumbling into elegance
  • wanting to pay of debt and use surplus to go back to masters school, diploma to wipe my ass with, and something to slop on the resume
  • going from place to place around here looking for internet connection and finding NOTHING
  • I like 'The Pig Stand' here, and 'Sam's Burgers' -- The rest, mamma taught me not to say it.
  • Speaking of mamma, she's doing good, last treatment of the 'rough ones' this Friday. I had lunch with her tonight, good times, and good spirits (figuratively)
  • lots of thoughts on how shameful it is that foreign policy is dictated by american political cycle. Don't get me wrong, I'm not hitler lovin' facist, but this country could stand to do with less lawyers and politicans and more engineers.

More to come on all these topics when internet connectivity is available. I have a gazillion pictures in queue.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

And I Won't Go, and I Won't Sleep, and I Can't Breathe Till You're Resting Here With Me

Why in the world am I quoting Dido? Roswell is the answer, its the theme song to the series that came out years back. With sketchy Internet access, I head down to have price books and pick up the six DVD series for 19.99, what a deal.

Series starts out great, packed full of great irony, 3 kids are aliens, 2 human kids know, an as the circle of speculation expands, the more 'roswellian' it gets, and boy golly its wonderful.

The aliens and humans start to date and 'make out' and all this, and there's the 'I saw stars when he kissed me' line, and is it really stars, or is it just the way it rolls when you like someone. Lots of this sorta thing.

It integrates old Indian culture well, the great land of enchantment known as New Mexico is there, and they even spill into Texas every now and then.

I love Roswell, even though there isn't anything to do there, except the alien festival in July a WILL attend before I die.

So family and friends, check out the story, the irony will captivate you until you can be captivated by the characters, all in all I'll give it an A-.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Slayer / Manson VWA

Steve, epic for the tickets. Ron and Alissa, great seeing yall!

Slayer is amazing.

Manson is a phony masquerading as a masochist but really a pure exhibitionist. I can just hear two stupid kids debating, one saying Manson 'makes sense' and the other saying he's crazy. They're both right, and sadly both wrong and more sad for society. Damn parents, where are you?

Here's my defense on doom metal, which has plenty religious undertones. Slayer portrays the violent side of religion, for better or for worse shining a spotlight on the darker side of humanity motivated by religious causes. Interesting enough, the first religion to be secular and fundamentalists, the Christians.

In a world of balance, if you believe in Christ, there must be the Antichrist. What if these 'two beings' are the same thing, energy in the form of ideas. Energy, and where you go with that energy is up to you. How does each and every human satisfy their lust for power, and do they work in God's name with him on their side?

Religion splinters off in so many factions of sub-factions of this and that, and people seldom take a step back and say, 'well gee, what DO I believe in, the easter bunny and santa' or something divine and beautiful? People like Slayer aren't there to disreguard your belief in the divine, but rather to re-inforce it.

Slayer knows what they believe in, its the dreaded 'spirituality but not religion' thing, with an emphasis on the 'dark side.' It's essential to shine a light on this, and the balance that angels and the devil are the same, makes the Slayer message relevant and intelligent. The capacity for both 'good and evil' are inside every one of us, might as well be exposed to both. Understanding makes the 'evil' not so evil.

Which leaves me up at night thinking, Is it easier to smile and be happy and accept all things have the capacity to be good, or is it easier the question all that is. Either way, if you devote brain cells to your quest, I can respect it.

At any rate, there is an amazing metaphysical study to be done on the roots of death metal.