Sunday, November 30, 2008

If the sun can shine You'll be just fine Look into your mind Where you're free

My quick list of what makes a good leader, and what they need. BOTH are needed for SUCCESS.

Leadership attributes --
  1. The ability to EXECUTE against all odds
  2. The ability to ARTICULATE a VISION
  3. The ability to INTEGRATE egos
  4. The ability to create a sense of URGENCY
What leaders need --
  1. RESOURCES, mainly human
  2. TRUST -- in these resources
  3. For difficult endeavors, ASSETS

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Broken beaten down Cant even get around Without an old man cane I fall and hit the ground

A night at the best pub in town, and I drink a coffee. It's the start of something special in my life, I can feel it.

Manuelabor, Lacination, and Sophia come for a visit. After a visit from these folks, my battery is charged. If they were near, I know I'd NEVER get tired of hanging out with them, the latter may not hold true :)

What I get from hanging out with these wonderful folks

-- A voice of reason and an ear to listen (even though I think Lacinator thinks I'm crazy) --

-- I get asked the hard questions, don't get judged on the answers, conversation flows so freely it's wonderful

-- General all around good laughs, fun, excitment, and good spirit.

Friday, November 28, 2008

So tell me what the hell is normal and who the hell is sane? And why the hell care anyway?

Last few years there's always been a countdown of the greatest albums of the year. A precursor to that this year, for creatures of habit like myself is to highlight what I will name my favorite band of my generation, The Divine Comedy.

Mr. Hannon has clarified so much for me in the last 10 years, he's helped me over some humps, and continues to put things into perspective. The more I listen, the more I find, the more I grow.

The top ten tunes from the DC shot from the hip with the word that represents accordingly.

10 -- Songs of Love -- Unity -- It tells me that the masses are the masses and that if you stay away from the masses you are still OK. There is that 'group' of introspective people you're able to tap, you have that common bond with someone, a 'band of brothers' so to speak, the meek. Why I like it musically -- battling harpsichord and guitar, 3 party harmonies.

9 -- Gin Soaked Boy -- Balance -- 'I'm the sadness in the joy, I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy,' a barrage of opposites are put together with a shot out to Jeff Goldblum at the conclusion. The song says you can be 'this' in a world of 'that', and you're better off for it. Reminds me of a quote from a Steve Segal movie 'what does it take to change the essence of man.'

8 -- Don't Look Down -- Spiritual -- Says to employ doubt and pessimism, yet give the nod to the gods, and when you least expect it, the angles will come down and give you the ride of your life. In the meantime, do what you need to do, do it with great courage, conviction and energy, and the rest works itself out in the wash.

7 -- Perfect Lovesong -- Love -- It's nothing that's assuming, its kind hearted, funny, and implies no pressure, confusion or complication. Damn, its sooo the place I want to be, a place of peace, motivation and inspiration, a place that's consistent and understanding, a place of rest, a place of solace, a place of mutual admiration.

6 -- Bad Ambassador -- Humor -- A type of humor that only comes from a self actualized human being who states the humor in who they are, where they are going, the circles they would like to 'roll in', but yet understand and articulate limitations in these thoughts and ideas, lives in a lofty place in mind, body and spirit, dreams good dreams. Sentiments that say, I can work well with an audience, any audience, but inside the bubble, its magic.

5 -- The Beauty Regime -- Fulfillment -- A song that piece by piece dissects the bullshit aspects of celebrity culture, while building up how special you are in the same breath. It's easy to 'get', the message that says live your life for you.

4 -- Tonight We Fly -- Inspiration -- Thinking of this makes me think of Alladin on his little magic carpet, flying over houses, looking at the human element, seeing the searches and battles raging on. It inspires me to think 'we're all in this together,' and that awareness, then empathy are keys to human understanding.

3 -- A Lady of A Certain Age -- Sadness -- Sadness in excess, sadness in too much individual thought. A song that follows the life and times of a woman who becomes more and more distressed. You learn a lot from staring into that abyss, its great to do it for a bit, then say, damn, it sucks down there, and that's NOT where I want to be. A song that says, 'figure out the human element in relation to things that are important and true, or you will die a lonesome depressing death.'

2 -- Charmed Life -- Hope -- A song that articulates the difficulty of taking the high road, and the inherent benefits of doing so. Layers of happiness, layers of beacons, layers of life's little lessons, both practical and hidden in meaning.

1 -- Mastermind -- Freedom -- The deepest song I've heard in the last 10 years. The message ranges from conformity, tenacity, introspection, temptation, realization, reassurance, threats and opportunity. Once you make it through line by line, listen after listen, layer on layer, you know a hell of a lot more about yourself.

When you lift up the rug, internalize what you think and feel, what do you see under it? 10 years of The Divine Comedy has cleared the dirt and dead bodies.

Weightless as I close my eyes (Ohhhhh-aah) The ceiling opens in disguise

Can't tell you how much I HATE running, however I know there is something special about it and the people who can do it. I WILL get there, turning this, a great weakness into a great strength.

Running has to be a harmony between body and mind. When I run, thoughts splinter in all directions, chaos reigns supreme in my mind, which in turn plays havoc on my running.

To do this, changing habits is inevitable, including --

1 -- Binge drinking has got to go
2 -- healthier eating
3 -- strengthening of my core

and hopefully these things along with running will ebb me towards relaxation and a healthy soul.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Sunday, November 23, 2008

What can you do but let them talk And make your way down the block

This video turned out so bad yet so good --

with the birds i share this lonely view

was at the launch of twitter back in the day, but never considered myself an 'early adopter' of anything, but the time has come --

to refine my thoughts, thinking and communication through twitter -- till i get a rhythm, it'll be what i ate for dinner, etc etc, but eventually cross pollination of great thoughts and ideas may occur.

i want to follow you, follow me, let's figure out the communication model together --

My twits

there go the words I meant to say There go the games I wanted to play

In this corner, the geeky aspect of the family, downing recession ales like they are going out of business.

And in this corner, a long haired Mike D and Sarah B in a swanky dress.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Seasons change, mad things rearrange But it all stays the same like the love Doctor Strange

Good friends always put it into perspective for me -- One says, 'Online dating is like going to the $7.99 all you can eat buffet,' then it can be further dove into in terms of the general chicken, seafood, won ton soup, etc, etc --

When you hit a buffet, if you let it happen, the feeling of guilt and gluttony finds its way into your thoughts. Similar to the smorgasbord of dating profiles on the site of your choice, where after choosing to meet a black haired blue eyed liberal who was born on a Gemini cusp that likes traveling, walks on the beach, and sushi, it returns 7 hits in your zip code, --- similar to the 7 things you head for at the buffet.

Tonight, it was chicken, shrimp, the meat on the stick, some dumplings, the jalapeno mystery chicken, a piece of cheesecake, and lets not forget the beloved pudding.

It's a slippery slope those buffets, the 7.99 turns into 6.99, then 5.99 and so on....

Something tells me that organic is the way to go in both circumstances.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

the tide that left and never came back is on my mind tonight

Lots of song lyrics hovering in around during my bean heartburn infested jog this evening --

There's literal and non-literal interpretation in all words, thoughts and deeds, for years I've spouted out words, but the undertone has always been in the song lyric in the title of the post. If I'm quoting Eliot Smith, I'm usually not having a good day, despite what I write, Rhett Miller, cynical and playful, The Shins or Belle and Sebastian, I'm thinking about a collective of thought too hard to describe or understand.

Non-Literal -- an example, Murder or a Heart Attack, buy the Old 97's. If you take a gander at the lyrics below, a non-literal interpretation would be, boy and girl have relationship, one person leaves without warning or due to wandering heart, the other person rolls the dice by always keeping alive the possibility that the person who has left will come back.

\\We assign meaning to things and all of sudden those things have power over us.

Check out lyrics, and the literal interpretation follows, as per a story told at a live show.

And the hole
In the screen is barely big enough for you
And not near enough for me to go

And the whole damn complicated
Situation could've been
Avoided if I'd only shut the window

And I may be leavin' myself open
To a murder or a heart attack
But I'm leavin' the back door open
'Til you come back, 'til you come back


Literal Interpretation - Rhett's livin' with his girl in LA. He forgets to shut the window, their cat jumps out and disappears, he's now scared that his girl is gonna murder him or she's going to have a heart attack when she finds out, so he looks for the cat relentlessly (no pun intended) and finally decides on leaving the door open till the cat comes home.

Like the lyrics in I'M A CUCKOO, people take to signs, but I think the reality is people assign value to signals, and that signal only has the value you give it.

I always attempted to bridge my literal and non-literal ideas for the sake of whole person progress, it's taken a toll on the soul. The brain is full of interesting nuance that's beneficial to explore.

Why do people do it? Framing information (thought, speech, word, and action) in different contexts is interpretative (good connotation), slippery (bad connotation), often you have to grab the few words from the wordsmith who lives in the area between literal and non-literal, come to a conclusion and run with it.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Greek gods are communing Beneath the doric arch And they talk how small we humans are

Tonight's thought, people don't know what they want, but they know what they DON'T WANT. There's a lot in this sentiment, but had writers block, then Malkmus showed me the way on my crusty old winamp .

You can frame the the conversation in terms of gathering business requirements, as you do something for boss that says, 'I don't know what I want,' you give them something, and say, I don't like it, try again.

Shepherds herd in real time
Sheep are barley-grazing on a field of green
Vines ripen to find
Troy will prevail
Trojan curfews prevail

Modern day courting / mating psychology thoughts guided by a Malkmus stanza.

Shepherds herd in real time

There's a lot of sheep in the world, that do what they're told, have no vision or hindsight, even more folks that have vision and hindsight but are lost in the fray. So Mr Hannon's, lyric Pale, pubescent beasts, rings true, weather you're in a bar of coffee house. We are victims of the worlds fashions, the more you mix it up the more you're galvanized in that behavior.

Sheep are barley-grazing on a field of green

There's a lot of 'grazing' going on out there, but what about true terms of endearment?. It probably looks more like cows eating on brown Texas grass than a European meadow. It's trial and error out there, it really shouldn't be that hard and scientific. Find a nice path of green grass, get fat on mental stability and goodness.

Vines ripen to find

What does one do as a higher priority than the quest? They ripen themselves, self enrichment and the like. I've learned to skip cocktail night more often than not to do things I know other people aren't, and what I've found, it makes you more 'mysterious' to the cocktail crowd. I figure I'm ripening on the vine ready to fight a few distinct predetermined battles.

Troy will prevail

Walls have a purpose, you let them down for non-internalized intentions and 'booty', then Troy doesn't prevail.

Trojan curfews prevail

Lots of ways to spin that one, but if you don't open to the wolf at the door, your kingdom will be safe.

In all the Adam Sandler, well the puppy was a dog rambling, there's a message to plan, then act.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Tomorrow may come Tomorrow may never come again Can't you hear Jamie cryin? She's runnin' with the devil

“I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field controls my destiny.”

Han Solo said that, I like to think I favor him in life. Many times I enter a tribe, be it a fancy meal, a hipster alt-rock band / occasion, meeting of the minds, or just a general clique of artists, country boys or geeks.

If the group is serious, or serious doing its own thing, I instinctively sway the latter, and think, you're taking this way too seriously, or you're taking yourself or you situation way too seriously.

See Han thought the force was some crazy mystic voodoo, while the force was there, he acknowledged 'the force' wasn't a golden arrow for any situation. He saw all the good things from a variety of different planets, he had a bada$$ looking spacecraft, he had some great one liners that cut to the chase, all while being accepted and a part of the confines of a group. He had no 'special' power, but he had...

-- the ability not to panic in tough situations
-- the ability to stick it out when the going got tough
-- he was the man who knew the man
-- he knew how to fix stuff, and didn't mind getting his hands dirty
-- had no alliances to anyone, but knew right from wrong

Knowing when to stand firm, knowing which battle to pick, and knowing when to dip, duck and dive in a life is essential.

Needless to say, Han didn't sit back and color.

The railway ticket states the destination but it doesn't mean That we will show

Rolando, Mike D and Jenny run the half marathon this morning, the first annual one in downtown San Antonio, 30,000 people show. At the end of it all, the man from Kenya did the 26 miles just a tad before our valiant here's did the half, but I'm proud of the guys.

Waking up the 30 degrees, the snowflake by the temperature in the Jetta, I'm thinking, damn poor folks, however, it turned out to be an extremely beautiful day.

The ATT center, situated to herd 30,000 people into charter buses, school buses, you name it.

The before picture, I could tell everyone was hyped.

The after picture, everyone was in great spirits, they wanted to have some beers, and plan the soak-body-in-ice-water.

Thanks goodness Mark was there and Casey made the trip up to support the gang. We went to Shoney's and ate all you can eat breakfast while our protagonists ran the race, which literally made me sick to my stomach, for bad food, and all for the sake of feeling left behind. I'm turning lumpy, we can't have this.

So what DO I leave behind, this stuff, bacon, sausage, french toast, and don't forget the CHICKEN FINGERS on the buffet. The gang has penciled in the marathon in July 2009, running the whole thing, I vowed to do the half, and I start preparing this week, and I've decided to find a running group.

I HATE RUNNING WITH A PASSION, THE THOUGHT OF A TREADMILL MAKES ME SICK, but as some wise dudes say, make your greatest weakness your greatest strength.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I dragged you up the stairs And I told you to fly You were flapping your arms You started to cry

Eddie Vedder once lamented 'O O O O I'm Still Alive,' after staying up 3 days then going for a surf. Living on the fringes some people call it, its where all the action happens, and the closer you can stay to that the more eventful your life is, or at least that's what you think.

There are times when you're a walking zombie, when night and day blurs together, when thoughts run unbridled, unfiltered and somewhat coherent. I'd imagine like peyote without peyote.

What are the fringes of conventional life? Are there fringes? Or is it something you have to search for?

Times like these, I'm waiting for the 'Knock Knock Robert, The Matrix has you....'

Home- will infect what ever you do We're Home- comes to life from outa the blue

The social divide is alive and well more than ever these days.

There are divides in family, divides in what role the male and female should play, divides in ethnicity (Barack Obama isn't 'black enough', etc). There are divides in education levels, workers with unions and without, red vs. blue politics.

So what happens to when things get 'too big to fail?,' and there is an abundance of everything? You have greed, corruption, apathy, and complacent souls -- all bad, and can happen with excessive government or excessive capitalism.

How is the individual empowered in this day and age, other than collaboration amongst peers? How does the individual effect change in a world with no accountability? What does the modern day rebellion look like? Scary....

What does this mean in terms of the psychology of the 'cool kid' and what it makes people strive for? Why does the divide have to be prom queen or nerd, why is everything so dramatic, and why do people fall for it? -- Life is full of subtle irony, but not the stuff we're force feed because 'we' like it. Hence what does it make us 'long for', consequently 'settle for?'

I'm feeling kind of radioactive But I'll make it to the church on time

Pictures from O Montreal, Mt Royal was not as tall as I expected --

Where did you go when things went wrong for you, when the knives came out for you

Perks for having friends overseas, you learn about bands like The Bluetones

Love the guitar effect, and of course the na, na, na, na, na's at the conclusion of the tune.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Get Nostalgic Bout' the Last Ten Years Before the Last Ten Years have Passed

The last six month I've been devoting my brain cells to the hopes, perils and opportunities that exist with Mother nature, trying to really get a sense of what 'she' feels and the win win win's that exist all around conservation, awareness and respect. First understand, then empathize.

First, Hot Flat and Crowded, takes us on a geopolitical look at what's going on around the world. It articulates how we're funding both sides of the war on terror when we buy from Saudi and other countries who 'dont like us.' It puts into perspective the world 'coming online' and what that means for our natural resources. I like the concept of Duke Energy's 'smart black box,' a device that brokers energy consumption in and out, and has stats for all different ways you want to spin them. One point, how the military cools their huts in Iraq, through solar fitted 'accommodations' has tons of merit -- show's that throwing money at a problem helps. Another important point, a double sided battle must be waged to combat the predicaments our planet has to overcome, one, a nationalistic grass roots movement to see who's cooler than how, and a points system established to judge. Also, the manhattan project times 10. a lead in into 'The First Billion is the Hardest' by Texas oilman Boone Pickens. One of his 'boonisms' is 'action leads to action,' and in short, what I have gleamed from the book, goverment has create an energy market with policies, hedges, and regulations, ensure they stay around for a long time, and let free enterprise fill that vacume / market and quit flip-flopping based on political ideologies. It's not going to be quick, its not going to be sexy, its not going to be easy.

Boone's bettin' on natural gas, and sad today that he's postponing his plans. While oil prices fluctuate, the downcycle of oil prices means less demand on clean gas. I know there's more to it, I'm looking into it, but if I was a bettin' man, these renewable resources and trading in their futures looks like somewhere to dig in. Don't think so, just go to Bejing, from what I'm told.

Last but certainly not least, The World Without Us, a look into the metaphysical means of mother nature to self correct. The book takes you on an emotional rollercoaster ride which shows how long human infrastructure, man made items, and the 'way we changed the world' would last without us being in the drivers seat. High points I can recall off the top of my head...Europe would 'heal' quick due to geography and weather patterns, NYC would have interesting consequences (the subways would turn to rivers) and when the trash finally erodes, it would take the roaches with it, The Panama canal wouldn't last long, Mt Rushmore, situated in a very fault averse / erosion averse location would last 7.2 million years, migration patterns of animals would change, etc, etc.

It's an exciting and sad ride all at the same time. I'm still trying to get a grip on what it all means, but it's 'deep'.


Friedman and Boone would probably both concur with what Friedman stated... that we're in a 'green party' and what we need is revolution, and the follow quote was shared.

“A revolution is not a dinner party, or writing an essay, or painting a picture, or doing embroidery; it cannot be so refined, so leisurely and gentle, so temperate, kind, courteous, restrained and magnanimous. A revolution is an insurrection, an act of violence by which one class overthrows another.” -- Mao Zedong

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Pretend the dove from above is a dragon and your feet are on fire

Thinking tonight -- Is it better to sell out a stadium, or to sell out a nice theater, and all the variations.

A band becomes successful by reaching the masses, or winning American Idol or what have you. Soon they are on mainstream channels of communication, next thing you know they are singing their national anthem at a large sports event, have contracts with Puma, and lets not forget the pyro.

Band sells out any 100 year old theater, 1/10th the size, fans have a 'sophistication' perhaps, or maybe the the performer has become a commodity, a has been, but either way there's an allure to the theater performer.

Granted what sells out a stadium is popularity, which is a lead in to how it relates to metaphors for life in general.

There is no popularity in a conventional trade, it's not sexy, it's not going to sell out stadiums. However, you do have a sphere of influence the more 'successful' you become. Would you rather be rich, or rather be right, do you want to 'cash in' or stay true to yourself and your trade. I used to think 'be true' and all that, but in so many ways that's a statement dismissive of hard work. Often individual don't want to invest the intellectual capital to get to the point where they can 'sell out,' so why toil with the question.

I'm working hard to get to the point where I can 'sell out.' Cuban talks about how it doesn't suck being rich, and I'd have to agree with him. I often ask people, would you rather be rich, or would you rather be right. The answers vary, and the way the question is framed is always intriguing. Some say 'I'd rather be right with myself than be rich, if that's what you mean.' -- I've always thought, 'I'm always going to be right with myself, no question about that,' -- Others say, 'well i know I'm not going to be rich ever, so I just want to be right'- as it pertains to a difference of opinion.

I'd rather be 'rich' at the sacrifice of my opinion or stance on business and technology, and I'm going to choose the vessel I think is going to get me there. Once there, I can be like Spiderman, 'With great power comes great responsibility', that's what's philanthropic, fun, challenging, inspiring.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

With your sheets like metal and your belt like lace, And your deck of cards missing the jack and the ace

I've always equated life to the card game, especially finding that special someone or something. The idea has always been if you demand the best, you will get the best. My 'me blog' helps me internalize thoughts and feelings.

Two pairs, full house, straight, flush -- I think the main thing to do is achieve consistency in knowing when to hold em' and when to fold em'. There's plenty country boys out there that have a 45,000 dollar truck in front of a trailer house, hence full house on the truck, high card on the house. Lots of times I fold, I'm looking for the high stakes hands, while doing that I find the high stakes players. Poker is still poker, regardless of if you're playing with a bunch of smucks or you're playing with innovators in the field.

I know a lot of people who 'have a system' as it pertains to 'the game,' -- I.e., if you have these cards, you do this, if you have these, you do this. Although these individuals are successful, I can't comply with the ideology. Someone once told Wal-Mart as they were entering their online prescience, you're not going to out Amazon -- hence Wal-Mart didn't play a heavy hand. Same thing with fly by the seat of their pants entrepreneurs, the question always becomes end state -- doing it for fun, fine, doing it for exposure, cool, doing it to make money -- think about how many twitter knockoffs there are, is it that the heavy hand you want to play?

I've been thinking about 'the bubble I'm in' and framing thoughts in this way. As I sit here tonight, I realize its more of a time management thing, and an opportunity cost thing. There are activities that will enhance my future, some that have no impact, and there are some that have a negative impact on my future. My entire 20's, minus the travel, there were a lot of activities I partook in that were a negative impact in my life, and right now my growing pain is trying to squeeze these out.

As your human plate tectonics shift, I've found that you can internalize conclusions, plant seeds and see what grows, live life with expectations but patience.

Well, it's time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year, We'll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer

Benny turns 70, Doug turns 50 -- Time to whip out the yard bird and footballs. Over 100 people here for the momentous occasion. The house is so big, it's a workout just going to the other room.

What does some of the 'younger' generation of the family look like? Carey, Corey, Bob and Josh, oral surgeon in Los Angeles, person who can fix anything, technocrat, and fireman respectively, a diverse group.

This was a great gift idea, brought the crowd to a stir with laughter.

In the garage, Corey beating up on me -- Certainly this is a changing of the guard. I used to manhandle these fellas, now I'm just worried about my back and bones.

Ben's TBird, a sweet little ride.

Finally, Jr and Collin, solving the worlds problems :)