Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I worried and stalled every night of my life. Better safe than making the party

Time to recollect for the year on what I've learned. A buddy and I talk, generally speaking he's an idealist, I'm a pragmatist, but rigid in my own thoughts. For a great part of my life, I've found struggle in how pragmatism and idealism can meet in the middle.

Abstract a bit further, and think, how can ANY idea, any thought, word, deed, feeling, etc find common ground. What's the basis for commonality? Sure there's the general themes of mutual respect, understanding and empathy, but that doesn't strike at the heart of the matter.

To explore further, my personal story of discovery, of course lost in translate, comes from weekly dialogue in philosophy, my buddy, a Plato person, myself, a Kant person -- two that 'kinda go together, but kinda not'. I do some digging for quotations, find a middle ground that assures me that I (at least for my own well being), have found the root of common decency, and the tie that binds reasonable people together, and provides a solid foundation to build upon.

'Always recognize that human individuals are ends, and do not use them as means to your end.' -- Kant

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -- Plato

I've discovered that despite what contempt I have on the surface of 'this place' (anything that deals with the mass of humanity, their consumptions, their evils, my perception of what's pathetic), it doesn't manifest in friendships I've established over the years, and generally speaking I have a great disposition when it comes to the challenges in life, and all of its curiosities. Even though my phone doesn't ring on Saturday night, I have great friends everywhere I look, which confirms a mutual genuine interest.

Similarly, I feel as if I've got great capacity for intimacy, I feel strongly (as my fortune cookie suggests) a beautiful, smart and loving person will be coming into your life. All the intangibles will align, someday, somehow, sometime.

It all starts with the realization that most human life is precious (even though there are too damn many of us), and I want to dive into that feeling. This means lowering my guard, this means throwing out the bad mental habits of self defeatism.

Humans super complex and wonderful, I'm going to live by that one, and continue bridging the gap between cognition and manipulation.

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