Wednesday, June 24, 2009

i never really thought it would be like this, i know its kinda hard but i'm glad that it is --

idealism has always had a tendancy to bring out the best of the worst of me, today that tug of war rages on --

ever since i learned the expression 'when you point a finger, six get pointed back at you' -- i've made earnest effort to sit back, take 27 deep breaths, take what i think are the shortcomings in others, internalize and reflect on myself the mental notes i've taken of others.

often times i wonder, does that introspection and self enrichment pay off? i think 'what percentage of the population is trying to improve themselves, and what percentage increase are they doing to achieve 'better ground' .5, 5, 15 or 50% --

squandered talent KILLS ME being a c student in high school, passing college by a gray nose hair, and generally speaking working harder than the next fella, often times a lot harder --

squandered time is relative, damn if i'm not finding myself apathetic more often than not the last few weeks, there's an invisible to me mountain i'm pushing against emotionally, one of two things will happen 1- the moutain will reaveal itself to me, or 2 - i'm like hmmm, this just got easier, what happened --

i'm searching for answer one, so i don't have to climb that mountain again --

i'm finding its a great thing to have expections of people, but finding it difficult to factor that in the living a extraordinary life effortlessly.

--
lately my thoughts lack a central theme, i hate it when i read stuff that i can't derive a central them from as much as i hate watching movies like 'snatch' --

undertones will tell the tale of my past to me, or good stories for people that are close to me -- stories that i don't have trouble articulating --

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