Monday, November 09, 2009

Don't fall into all those sad stories you write, Your voice is so pretty When it gets caught in the right rhyme

A wise sage outlined the phases of life, and volunteers that I'm in 'Phase 2' -- First instinct says, damn, I should be further along, however, thinking about it I'm glad I'm past phase one and understand there are move levels to aspire to achieve.  A tip of the hat to The Veils --

I came out to the desert, and my friends jokingly say I have a girly french cap and hipster douschbag sweater (I don't think Kohl's had hipster douschbag clothes, but its all relative, and I stand corrected.)

In keeping with the literal fashions of the world, I offer the shirt, the way of dress, the way clothing is percieved in an office, and the company policy -- and move that through the phases of life.

Phase 1 - idealism - i'm going to change the world!

I'm out of Academia!  Yee Haw!  I'm going to take my nice little project and run it through the 'Systems Development Life Cycle' (SDLC) and I'm going cross reference it with all these key words and concepts, and I'm going to be the one that KNOWS, regardless of all the empirical knowledge around me.

My boss says I need to wear a collared shirt, I'm happy!, I'm officially 'white collar' -- I am dressing for the job I want, the job I have, and I will move up by providing 'valuable' input to these people in authorative positions.  I am a team player, I'm self motivated, I work great with a team OR by myself, I know all the right things.

Are my slacks nice enough?, I forgot to iron this one little piece, wow I hope no one notices --

Phase 2 - screw it - the world cant be changed

The SDLC hasn't been working out, my boss handed me a big clump of shit and said here, sculpt it.  So I've been sculpting away, all the while others have differing opinions on how the legs, hips, theighs and buttox should look, all the while I'm the one holding the sculpting tool.  OK, we'll make the butt bigger, yea, it does make a disconnect with how the hips and butt fit, ok, bigger hips, gotcha -- oo, now that's too hard on the knees and the pants don't fit, roger that, working on it right away.

You begin to awknowledge that world is a tactical nightmare of people arguing over semantics while never truly seeing the need to step back and have a coherent strategy for life, love, work and whatever else have you. 

Screw the company policy for making me wear a collard shirt, its not reasonable in these conditions.  The world is all about reason, right?  How can Kant be wrong, why aren't people seeing this?  I'll wear my pink and green long sleeve no collard shirt UNDER my nice collard white polo to say 'F You' to the system, yeat that's it.  I'll work around the system, b/c I'm sly like that, and they're not going to get the best of me. 

I'm smarter than that, yes-sir-ree.

phase 3 - acceptance - the world may not change but i can still scratch my itches

At some point do we all sit back and realize we love big brother,?  just like the protagonist in 1984? - I think there's a big portion of that --

You one day being to realize you have the illusion of freedom, but yet you're enslaved to your own devices, but that's OK.  I have BBQ, I have a good job, a great family, and people who love me.

That collard shirt looks nice on me, I think I'm going to wear another one tomorrow, just a different color.

phase 4 - understanding - getting what you want is meaningless - wanting what you have that's the trick

To fully understand this understanding phase is something I hope to achieve by age 50.  It's very very difficult, much moreso than the simplicity implies.

It means don't hate the players, hate the game -- and if you don't like the game, you can always opt NOT to play, or invent your own game.

It means hard work surpasses all games and shannagins, and you're always picked for the team based on merit, PERIOD.

To me it means framing reality in a way that accepts and embraces percieved shortcomings of people.  As in Goodwill Hunting when Robin William's tells Matt Damon that his wife once farted and it cleared the room...that and 1,000 other things made her special in the perspective of life.

To me it means knowing that I can hope on a plane anywhere and anytime, and it be a choice not a necessity in the quest for self actualization.

To me it means the grass will NOT be greener on the other side, b/c this is the side I'm cultivating, fertilizing, trimming weeds and rain dancing for.

To me it means turning family into friends and friends into family.

At the end of the day, I realize life is good in the morning, life is good when I go to sleep, and it really doesn't matter what shirt I'm wearing.

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