The Master Key To Riches - Happiness is All You Wanted

is knowing yourself, what you want, what you can acheieve, knowing how to push yourself, etc, etc, etc.

That being said, life is good, I really feel as if I know myself. Also, it doesn't hurt know that my mom is in good condition, chipper, lively, etc. The more I think about it, my happiness hinges on her happiness (the answer to all the critics questions of why I spend so much time in Shiner.) To me, she's the hub of immediacy in my family life, when gone, its a group of brothers and sisters....peers, which is great, but not the same. Most of the rest of the family has a new family, and that's awesome, but it gets me thinking more about the nuclear family, and as much as I want that, I truly don't think its in the cards for me, just chalk it up to personality.

I do know there are a lot of complainers in the world, and not too many problem solvers, there are too many people who are victims of something or another, and it's taken me this long in life to understand this simple concept, and of the mass populus who are 'victims', I've come to have absolutely zero tolerance.

South by Southwest is in our midst, its a big music festival, downtown Austin, you either get it BIG TIME, or you think is the equivalent of your perspective city's crappy music festival. I'm going to be out and about, getting my learn on about different things, and also catching many many many times 10 bands.

What's new, an ever evolving state of mind, and fortunately the current is one that's become strong and relaxed about the state of affairs and state of emotion that revolves around me at least. That's what it's all about you, the one who's got to wake up every single morning and be you. Awknowledging this truth makes me weiry of giving advice to anyone, in a strange sort of way on several scenerios, giving advice is a selfish thing.

Life has to run its course, I like blog reading, and I will attest to liking two types of blogs, probably equally. First type, the informative blog, which talks about all subject matter areas, why I like these is self explanatory.

Second, personal blogs. This bald headed microsoft dude that comes in every now and then always reminds me, you have to get the 50 yard line before you can see the goal. Well, personal bloggers who are of substance, and how are the troubleshooting, problem solving, figuring things out on the fly and also who have figured out how to write to a wide array of audience is well.....shall i say, once the goal line is realized.....we are 50 yards further than someone just out of the starting blocks.

Personal blogs are about self-enrichment more than anything I think, sure its informative, and I enjoy reading friends and family blogs to keep up with what's going on with them, and surprisingly, when I see these people who blog, many often say, damn, yall never see each other, and yet yall are still close. Well, If you're my friend, and plop something down in the blogsphere, I'll read it, especially on sujects where thought has been put into it.

More often than not I think about what it means to be successful, and self help book after self help book, over and over again keeps reinforcing postive influences on my life. Sure I read first time, understand, but I'm like yea yea. But I think the persistence has actually started to pay off.

I watched Joel Osteen the other day for the first time and maybe the last, (yea, and the Compact Center didn't combust either), and the message was simple, sometimes your dreams are bigger than the audience around you, and anyone can take that as they will, and could possibly learn from that, and awknowledge where the fly in the ointments are in their life, and realize the next steps they need to take in order to rise up in a different social level (not money-wise, but incite wise.) or both....hell

Monetary values, I've come to realize I have a ton of skills that I can't make money with. The movie Before Sunrise (ultimate make me sad and happy all at once chick flick) touches on this. It says when you grow up, you tell your mom you want to be a writer, mom corrects and says, you mean journalist, etc, etc, etc. Well there's a fine line between the banter of 'follow your dreams' and the practical reality of people following their dreams becoming hot dog stand vendors. One day I hope it just clicks for me, and I'm sure it will, before it happens, I truly have an understanding about what needs work in my life.

As times moves on, I'm now the 'old guy' in Shiner, and as I hang out with younger people in the community, I feel as if I'm not the old guy in terms of what people do, and how they succept themselves to the same routine over and over again, which is ok, but it's staggering the number of people that 1) complain like hell about it, or 2), are so oblivious about it, haven't seen a whole lot in life and don't have the desire to. I think its sad, but what compels me to do things is different from others.

I've always been motivated by the persuit of happiness, and never really understood the bad Aerosmith cliche of 'lifes a journey not a destination,' although its becoming much clearer. You take those stupid words to heart, I think it becomes more and more difficult to be pissed off about your current situation or state of mind. It tells me, don't like something, change it, but don't expect cloud nine, because whatever endeavor you choose, its hard work, and the fountain of youth is waiting there for people who work hard.

While on the subject of bad quotations, Matthew McConaughey's got a good one. He says, I try to get a good sweat going everyday, that's what keeps me in shape, or something of this nature. I take that to heart, especially on the weekend, when me and the beast feel like having a beer, we head down to the football field and try to bend it like beckham. My fat legs are actually good at kickin' the old ball around, and I AM getting a wicked bend on it. Other than that, I painfully count the time to stop-o-meter on the treadmill, and keep reminding myself this is good for me, this is good for me, and SO NUFF' I do feel good, I sleep much better, and the beer gut is slowly but surely going away. I must say its nice when this 30 year old pops sees a fat college kid, thinking, and damn, he / she even got metabolism workin' for them.

Well, enough random sentiments, I hope everyone is doing well. I hope life will slow down soon, no more curveballs, and I'll get to be on the road to see everyone soon. I'm looking for a new place, currently I'm looking at 4-500 square feet roach shacks in Hyde Park, but if anyone knows a good place, centrally located ATX, let me know, a roomate is also not out of the question, drama queens and pimp daddies need not apply.

Leaving yall with a quote in tribute of SXSW, from a long time hero of mine.
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“As I define it, rock and roll is dead. The attitude isn't dead, but the music is no longer vital. It doesn't have the same meaning. The attitude, though, is still very much alive -- and it still informs other kinds of music.” --David Byrne

There are Those Long Nights, There is this Good Love

Nothing earth shattering on my mind tonight, just watching youtube performances of this amazing dude.

Taken in a Church in Chicago just last month, a sweet acoustic performance, damn I wish I coudda been there.

I've Had the Same Jeans on for Four Days Now, I'm Gonna go to a Disco in the Middle of Town, Everybody's Dressin' Up, I'm Dressing Down

Hospitals, what can you say about them, many things, but lets just say I probably sway to the Patch Adams view of things.

When there are trying times, it's easy to put things into perspective, families bond, etc, etc, a beautiful / wonderful energy of support.

Perspective....I recall when my old man had stage 4 cancer when I was 15, I really didn't worry about the social pressures of being a teen....the parties, the drinking, if the girls thought I was cool or not, etc, but rather if dad was going to be ok tomorrow.

That influences you as a teenager, I suppose in good ways, and in bad ways other times. It was a good lesson in character, trial by fire, and it's up to me with what I do with the perspective gained from it all.

I often wonder, if dad would be alive today, would he approve of me, would he approve of the state of affairs, etc, and what would be different especially in my life if there was a father around in those years to 'crack the whip' on me.

I suspect it wouldn't be cut and dry, he'd like certain things, other things he'd be like 'what the hell.?' At any rate, I would have liked him to be around longer so I could have asked him the tough questions, and see what his responses would have been.

We Need Hints

And they were givin' by the doctor today, as he talked of strong German and Bohemian women.

A somber day at the Bruns camp....we find out today that mom has to have a surgery tomorrow, and a sleepless night makes me introspective about many things, life in general, the whole human element, and how to use this episode in life to spin positive change in my life, and I'll only speak to that in the blogsphere. I don't want to elaborate on her condition, but here are other points of general consideration.

Each person in life deals with adversity in their own way.....right now, I'm dealing with adversity by thinking, what can I learn from this, how can this be a binding agent, and what am I taking for granted.

I have learned so much from Mom, but the most important thing I'd like to gain from her is a fierce work ethic. She's the type that just moves the stone, she doesn't say she's too tired, or too busy, most certainly doesn't squander money of frivilious things such as concert tickets and bud light pitchers, and other things that are off the point.

Why is it that I'm only thinking of these things in times of adversity? The spotlight is currently shining on how much I lean on mom, how much I appreciate her, and the things I need to do to get many things in my life in order. It makes me cherish the weekend BBQ's, the deviled eggs, potatoes augraten, the spurs fan in her, round table discussions, and many other things I take for granted.

See, she's a smart woman, she won't be able to tell you about computers, the internet, international travel, or other difficult and boring professions, but she's of sound wisdom and spirit, and can offer practical and understandable and more often than not correct accessments on the state of affairs, not only in Shiner, but in the hearts and minds of anyone around her, and her sphere of influence is tremendous due to this.

I want to acheive this work ethic and practical wisdom, and I want to do it for the both of us, I want to do it for the family. I want to cherish every day I can see her, talk to her, spend time with her, and I want to talk about the good stuff, the stuff I need to catch up on, the stuff I need to know, and the things I need to awknowledge.

Balance is what I'm going to make a concerted effort to do, its what I need to be healthy. I'm lopsided on the 'non-domesticated' perspective of it all, and my inclinations lead me to believe that staying home and being happy, putting the laptop down at home and pickin' it up more at work, and most importantly, not as much thinkin' until the thinkin' ain't good.

Times like these really test one's muster. Our family has a strong bond, and I know this will draw us closer, as every individual hurts inside. The human element to anything, it's often forgotten (especially for me), and its times like these which make you sit back and put it into perspective, I would say it's a healthy time for everyone.

Please send Good Vibrations her way, I'll be playing my Theremin passionately thru the weekend.

silent diverted indifferent

the setting, crown and anchor pub, one of my favorites in austin, i'm sitting here with ashley, and she's doing an assignment for her writing class, she has to describe something.

i'm going to share her pain, tonight, i will write about inspiration, from none other than the crown and anchor bathroom, a place in which i spent many wobbly nights.

for the last HOWEVER long, i've read the graffiti on the crown wall, and there's a profound statement hovering in the 'main stall,' and the whole slogan I can't make out, but it's about religion, and other words include silent, diverted, divided, indifferent.

recently i heard a self help book that says 'religion divides, spirituality binds', and wow, what a message that is.

on the silent, diverted, indifferent part, its amazing when you look at society in large, and how many are afraid of what they don't understand, and steps they achieve to obtain 'comfort.'

luckily for society, there are plenty of diversions, even for the movers and shakers in the world who value self-enrichment without self-fulfillment.

oooo, ashleys topic, descriptive. I've sitting here, in the 'public' area of crown, many familiar faces, crusty old wooden tables, darts, great pub food, a 'rustic' environment, stacks of the austin chronicle and austin's latest arrival 'the onion' (which has great shirts by the way), free wifi, a nice pint or three of stella, nerds beside me talking about linux and open source, and yes, the bathroom, yes, the bathroom, with an elevated 'thunder mug' and the 'horse trough' most dudes piss in.

well that's my two cents for the evening, I stumbled in here tonight after an Austin Music Foundation event at the Gibson Guitar Center, where some really smart and cool dudes talked about music, go out and check it out wheneva.

ps -- my google toolbar spellchecker for firefox seems to have kept the formatting of what it thinks is mispelled words, and the words I had to correct because of mispellings.

that's enough rambling for the evening.

Fortune Comes a Crawlin, Calliope Woman, Spinnin that Curious Sense of Your Own

Pride and envy, the feelings I get when I open the inbox and see things like this. If you recall Toshi from way back when, well he's galavanding all over the world, currently working in India, and for his birthday this year Taj Mahal.

Toshi, what can I say about this guy, he cultured me a lot, and I miss his influence on my life, but I know one day I'll get to visit him in Japan, and we are going to eat all sorts of crazy stuff, and see all kinds of awesome things.

Nope, no photoshop here. There ARE a few people checkin' the place out.

Keep up the good work Toshi, next weekend I'll be in the EXOTIC Shiner, Texas! hahaha

Sweet Home Bama Bama!

Today me and about 10,000 other 'surrender monkeys' came out to watch Barack welcomed to Austin.

Why did he come to Austin?.... Considering initial predictions say the only votes from Texas he will get are probably the 10,000 or so that packed into Auditorium Shores. He came because a lot of the liberal Austin hippies have money, and they will probably be allured with his 'rock star' attitude.'

The typical pie in the sky health care issues, education, war were talked about, and a poke or two at Cheney as well.

Behind the rock star attitude is more, a sensible and and articulate person, however, it's probably too early in the game, (17 months out) to predict his tenacity. He says people say he's not had enough time in Washington (just as much as bush, maybe more), but says he knows enough about it.

Anyone that can awknowledge the trip ups, screw ups, fuck up's of what bipartisan politics has become and how it divides and angers people has got the 'first step' right in making change.

For the record, if the momentum holds, I WILL make a sweet home bama bama shirt and wear it out to my rural stomping grouds. Skynard meets Bama, it just may work!

And for all the PS2 playing pot smokers, here's a wakeup call.

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"There is not a liberal America and a conservative America - there is the United States of America. There is not a black America and a white America and latino America and asian America - there's the United States of America." -Senator Barack Obama

We Can Blow on our Thumbs and Posture, But the Lonely is Such Delicate Things

Insightful, clever, intense, deep, happy, sad, depressed all rolled up into one? Meet your daddy, his name is James Mercer of The Shins. I'll spare the tributes to this wonderful band, let's just say that in the 1,000 of wanna-be's in the world of indie rock, this is the tallest blade of grass, and they got their by sheer talent, compromising nothing, selling out to no one. Music people who read this blog, I'll challange anyone on my sentiments that these boys are the voice of society's undercurrent.

The Paramount, Seattle, simply amazing to see a venue. Four stories, 3 balconies, and back to back sold out perfomances.

Someone told me once they didn't like The Shins because they sound too much like The Beatles, well damn, how would you LIKE them to sound like....Nickelback?? Again, lyrics lyrics lyrics.

Need something a bit more intense -- how about sophisticated and humble, genuine emotion, just the context of this clip would make me go out and buy this cd....buy buy buy!

Hats off to Viva Voce, the two piece outfit from Portland who put on a FANTASTIC show. Just check out how sultry and beautiful and elgant this chick is, as she thrashes this guitar!

OOOO, and somewhere in the course of the day, Roland and Mike D went to the EMP, and recorded a song, Roland on the drums, Mike D on the lead guitar, they are selling tickets for 60 bucks a pop.

Also, a pic of Rolando and I in West Seattle, situated right on the Pudget Sound with mountains in the background, absolute beautiful, just like that fat roll on my belly :) --!

Last but not least, the bar called Chapel, that used to be a morgue. Rumor has it that Bruce Lee was creamated here. Reguardless, a great atmosphere :)

Pardon the mispellings, my google spellcheck bar isn't working either :(

So, When They Tap our Mundane Heads, To Zombie-Walk in our Stead

What a trip to Jet City! Too bad its officially a week later I'm finally able to catch up. Where to begin, where to begin?!

Why not, how bout a picture of me with a beer in my hand, a Pabst Blue Ribbon to be exact. I equate this beer in taste and strange popularity with hip culture with our home sweet home (vomit) Lone Star.

That's my buddy Kyle and I, I met him seems like a thousand years ago at a Weezer show, we were both Radiohead fanatics at the time, and I see him about once a year nowadays. He showed us a great time, as he is known as 'urgoodtimeguide' to friends around him.

Rolando, at the last minute joins us from Los Angeles, as we are all devout Shins fans, and it's always great to have a 'guys weekend out.' Down at Pike's Market, where the seafood is fresh and the oysters are still gross, Roland spots a cheese store and purchases some homeade cheese.

Amoung the 'touristy' things we did was climb, not literally but in an elevator to the top of the space needle. Here's a picture of me and Mr photogenic up there.

When Kyle took the night by the hand, that's when the adventures began, first stop, the Rendezvous, a sweet little place that had a small 'theatre' in the middle, and a posh-ish 'party room' up top, the atomsphere was great, the lads restroom was labeled 'guns' and the dames labeled 'roses', kinda cool --- also there was a shuffelboard table about half the size I'm used to seeing.

Next was the Lava Lounge, and truthfully I don't remember the jist of this place, just remembered it was 'cool.'

The followup to the Lounge was a place called 'Shortys,' full of clown swag and the PINBALL COVE in the back.

Kyle wanted to beat this score on this game to 'show this chick up.' The score to beat, 88,000,000. Not only did he beat the score, but Pekard says he obliterated it!

Ok, after this, we went to a few seedy places near the market, a 'reading bar,' where people bring their books in and read and drink beer, which was kinda odd.

To end the Pike Market stint, we headed to a burleque show, had a few jugs of wine, listened to some great singers, and saw 'the mother of burlesque' in Seattle, a beauty who teaches it there. For more information, urgoodtimeguide now promotes rockabilly and burlesque.

Rounding out the evening we went to Pioneer Square, one of the many Sixth-Street-but-not-quite-Sixth-Street places in Seatown. Last place, Cowgirls Inc, the Seattle version of 'Coyote Ugly' Austin, but 1 million times better. We went obviously for the mechanical bull and that ride, but Kyle couldn't resist requesting some AC/DC and watching all the 'Cowgirls' hop on the bar to dance.

I couldn't resist the video.

Last of the evening the LONG WALK in the general direction of home, with a hotdog full of CREAM CHEESE, who would have thunk it, but VERY pleasing after a night of PBR, Manny's, Pike Pale, jager bombs and a nice jug of wine or two.

A strange mixed buzz, great times, lots of walkin', tremendous ground covered.

We're Outta Groceries Again, Ain't Got No Money To Spend, The Credit Card is Maxed Out....

Tomorrow me and Mike D hop a flight to Seattle, meeting Rolando from LA there, and hanging with with buddies Kyle and Sahala.

Let's see, Mike D's a Shins fanatic, so we are going to see them at the Paramount Theater, and we're likely to drive up to Vancouver, check things out there, and back by Monday. Presidents Day state holiday, gotta love it.

Hopefully you can take hair gel on the plane these days, otherwise they'll say, ummm, sir, you're going to have to check you toiletry bag.

Louise Only got from Me Innocent Poetry, Although She Played to not Listen

Calexico with Iron and Wine is what is jammin' thru the headphone at Epoch Coffee this evening. This place is the bomb, although I feel out of place without an IBook.


I really dig the 'f*ck off' Starbucks logo, not that I'm a hater, just like to see the 'mom and pop shops' getting the attention they deserve

Right down the street from this place are some condos I'd like to live in......, the only bad part they are overlooking an ash cemetery. :( --

What does one do at a coffee house other than socialize? Plenty reading about SAML and other wonderful things like this. Of course I have to check out all the social networking stops, too.

Well two double vanilla lattes later, I'm buzzin, time to go home, I think this will be a normal stop.

who could ever ever ask for more, love without complications galore

sure enough, a line from the Dresden Dolls....spent my evening at Room 710, snagged a video of the 'red teasers' aka my friend ashley do a hula hoop gig.

Poetry and Flowers Pretty Words and Threats

The day where everything turns red and capitalism cashes in. Whatever one may think of this day, whatever one may think of whatever they are in or not in, just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

Personally, after pigging out with the family on this lovely heart shaped masterpiece from Mangia, I'm happy.

Chips

What can I say? If it weren't for fine German Beer and chips, I'd be very fit. Have you ever stopped to think about how many times per day you are tempted with a nice tasty bag of chips? Even at work we've developed a NASTY habit of ordering 'chips and queso' before the meal.

Last Saturday, the beast and I went to Vtown to hang out, and at least 6 times, I was presented an option to get some chips, and finally inadvertently we went into Casa Ole, and once again, MORE CHIPS!

I've also heard just recently there was a 'History of Chips' documentary on the Learning Channel.

I have to be like Ben Steller in Dodgeball, the aversion techniques as it pertains to chips. When the chip nears my mouth, SHOCK!

Right Through the Explosion Display, Another Fine Outing, Pointing and Shouting, 'Look it's Baseball'

The something annual Shiner High School Alumni Baseball game, 2007, ahhh, what a pleasure to hop out there on the field again. It's as American as American can get, and I've always had a soft-ish spot in my soul for baseball, maybe I was a baseball player in a previous life.

Baseball is a great sport, just boring if you are an outfielder. Back in the day, when the pitcher would walk people, I'd get angry, start drifting, and then 'clink,' here comes the ball to wake me up the hard way. Yea, you could say I was in right field watching the dandelions grow.

Today --- everyone was announced, here's so and so, he's all state, batting average 700, here's so and so, he's a bada$$, here's 'Bill' state tourney this year and that. I was just waiting for them to announce me, this is Robert Bruns, he was a trouble maker and a $hit talker. Well, I could get a dugout worked up into a crazy frenzy, and that always was great fun.

Marty and Ryan, my two great buds and I shared the outfield duties in high school, and we dubbed ourselves 'Britches Boyz' == we even made shirts proudly bearing the slogan 'Nasty as we Wanna Be' on the back.

Well, a few more pounds on the waist, but still ready to 'play ball.' It sucked, I even got my Blackalicious shirt a bit dirty due to a head first slide into third base. In the midst of purple and gold, there's Mr Green Shirt.

Well, I didn't kill myself, and I even got a hit one at bat. The last at bat, some 16 year old struck me out --- 1 and 2 count, I knew the curve was coming and still took a grand slam cut at it, but to no avail.

To end the post, here's my top 10 baseball memories from back in the day, in no particular order.

One - Hitting a double against Mr East Benard, hopping off the bag, getting tagged out by the old hidden ball trick, coach gets angry, chews me out, then kicks a bag angrily all up on Marty.

Two - A 'professional' ball player came up to practice with us one day. I threw 3 whiffle balls out of the machine at Ryan, as we were horsin' around, only to be monitored by out coach, yea trouble for me again.

Three - Those damn Saturday double headers, sunburn and arm feeling like it was going to fall off.

Four - Dugout banter -- Chee Chee Pa Pa, Ditish, Big Whiffa, etc, etc, etc

Five - Some dudes on the team, after messing up, would either look at the bat, the ball or glove, as if it was the objects failure.

Six - Freezin out in the outfield, pitcher walking everyone, seemed like forever we were out there sometimes, and some of our pitchers disgruntled reactions, etc.

Seven - Britches Boyz would always go take down the flag after the game, and march back in with the 'Wizard of Oz' O-E-O- OO goin. -- damn that was crazy funny silly

Eight - Getting to practice 1 hour late, in my dorky white tennis shorts, getting 8 cuts on the field, about half of them 'yard', over the fence.

Nine - Being an 'intergral' part of the team, but when tennis starts, getting benched, but the last game of senior season, I got to start and and hit a bomb in Flatonia.

Ten - Teamwork, having a great coach / person teaching you the ropes, regardless of if I agreed or not.

From the Bible of 'None of the Above'

In regards to my 'name that blog posting,' my brother in law solicits my opinion on the following two questions. Six Warsteiners deep into the evening, I'll attempt to answer the questions.

Should Barack Obama's admitted drug use be an issue in the campaign? Will Barak's admitting to drug use, while Bush refusing to admit/deny the issue, foreshadow Barak being more open (than Bush) before taking unilateral action?

For clarification sake, I threw a little Clintox in the mix.
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To answer these questions, I believe that one must access their definition of morality. Let's see, the last two presidents, one committed perjury as it pertains to fellatio, and the other sent thousands of troops and civilians to die at 'war.'

In a race for morality, no one wins, which is why a political race should be ran with different criteria. People are paid big bucks to dig up stink on politicians in the information era, where every move you make is recorded, but guess what, no one is perfect, not even Jesus, for those of you who have recollected and read the Gospel of Thomas, which recalls stories of Jesus striking down a kid to death for tripping him. The moralists want to quote scripture, I might as well too.

Another issue to get past, is who lies and who doesn't, and the extent of holistic damage of a lie. When the stakes are high (and the stakes ARE high in a presidential race), people will distort the truth as the see it fit. I applaud Obama for telling the truth before the dirt diggers exploit this and use it against him, the buck stopped with him, and there is no speculation about what it all means or how to interpret it.

There are others that try to legislate morality, furthermore, there are others that are too weak or inarticulate to admit to human frailties (without using it as a 'I'm just me' weapon for political favor.) The current political machine uses fear, religious propaganda and morality as a weapon, saying it is the voice of the 'common man,' when in actuality the voice of the moderate common man is has been forgotten in politics in this day and age.

In terms of unilateral action, the fascist and the congress are to blame for the quagmire in Iraq, but our 'moral' president brought this issue to the forefront of political activity. Personally, I believe the human casualties suffered due to this is in far greater significance than lying about fellatio. I don't advocate lying under any means, however, if you think the children's morality has suffered due to a sexually immoral president, interview some 15 years olds about the subject before and after the presidential influence and crunch the numbers, and even if they are 'compelling,' what's the matter with it? (my opinion on morality again shines thru)

Would Bama LISTEN to others, yes, I don't think there are too many people that are more stubborn than the current president, and he is a 'god lovin' man, but believes in the separation of church and state, much like Goldwater. Moderate thinking will suggest, 'believe in Jesus, but keep him out of the white house,' and talk to your former Secretary of State Colin Powell more than you hop on the mystic hotline.

I think it's admirable that Bama spoke up about drug use, and I don't use my influence in politics on a moral subject matter, and if Bush appeared in front of grand jury, pearly gates or anything other 'judge of character,' you make your own decision. Base it on your own definition of morality, and your gut feeling of who is a better leader, not political affiliation.

It will be an interesting race, interesting in what comes up in the arguments 'haters' will use in defense of what boils down to their subtle or not so subtle prejudices. I've seen it happen already in my small hometown Texas village.

Utopia, as long as humans walk the earth will not be achieved, and I applaud people who will treat terrorism as a crime rather than a war, and be honest about things that count.

And Here's To You the Blue Wide Open, Get Me Off This Cursed Land, Back When My Heart Remained Unbroken, Time was a Footstep in the Sand

Songs of Innocence and Experience, a work by William Blake I picked up a few years back comes to mind while I listen to the washed out sounds of Kite Flying Society.

Wasn't it nice being an innocent child? Back in the olden' days, I used to marvel at the small town trade shows, I would think general stores had an abundance of supplies, I used to be scared of your typical small town Barney Fife policeman, and my dream car was a Ford Bronco II, and it was priced a mere $13,911 USD. I'll spare you the rest of the you are a child of the 80's IF stuff, but that applied to me too, and sometimes, yes, sometimes, I do miss my mullet.

Now, I'm a hater, I'm a warped frustrated 'city boy,' whose read a lot of books, been exposed to a lot of ideas, been over the pond 5 times in search of perspective. Yea, all fine and dandy, but due to the perspective gained, it's hard to balance it on a plate. I'm sure the same applies to having children, or any other challenging adult situation one encounters in life. I think it's hard to hold on to innocence / regain innocence...perhaps it's easier with kids?

Peace of mind is a combination between innocence and experience, as you grow in experience, it's important to keep lookin' back on those younger days to get back perspective. I enjoy crunching my brain when it comes to complicated problems, but sometimes I want to be a potato farmer somewhere with a view and 'live off the land,' and it's these two things that occupy my thoughts from time to time and in some cases, action to action.

In the end, the guy who gets dumped is the one that creates the vivid heartfelt poetry that inspires the hearts and minds of the Hallmark card writers. The guy, or girl who raises potatoes, if in times of nuclear war, created from 'intelligent ignorance' is the one I want to be close to, the self sufficient simple warrior. Both are needed in life, both are essential to peace of mind and mindfulness.

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Next Topic --- We can play 'name that topic' --- I've asked random friends what should I 'blog about' next --- The answers ranged from peas, global thermal nuclear warfare, Obamas Audacity's, what I had for lunch.....Any suggestions?

Cheap, Never Cheap, I'll Sing You Songs till you're Asleep -- When You've gone Upstairs I'll Creep and Write it All Down

Happy Monday, tonight after a potential Austin Music Blog meeting, I'm killin' time by playing with style sheets. 53 cool things to do with style sheets, it's fun :) -- Lots has been going on in the mind, just not a lot of time to pop it out there, but I'll unclug the pipes here, at least for a while.

A little bird told me that 30% of employers 'google search' your name when you are a perspective employee. I thought about this, and is it best to show up #1 on the google search results when you type in this, or is it better to sink into the world of the tangled web. I say, why not be the #1 hit on google when they search for the one of the 100+ of them. I would think it shows good understand and tenacity to 'get to the top,' or maybe it's just luck and the other ones of them just aren't that active. I'm weighing my options with a new career, and I personally don't see a problem with 'personal' content on the web, as long as its not flammatory to your institution or others.

Finally finished Atlas Shrugged, the book is pretty depressing, takes you on a downward spiral the first 998 pages of fine print, the last two say, 'lets rebuild all this crap,' pretty anti-climatic, but probably the best book I've ever seen about getting it's point across. I've attemted it 3 times, I've gotten 3 different meanings from it --- 1st Time, I got from it, don't ask questions no one can answer -- 3rd time clarification I think, well someone's gotta answer them, or pave the way for the answer. 2nd Time, the government sucks, 3rd time around, the goverment yes, it is inefficient and yes, that sucks obviously, also on the third time I've taken into account to power of the special interest lobby (weather that be save my profit margin or save the trees) -- throws a kink that will take a while to work out and figure out what's 'objective' in my mind. 3rd time, man, it's individualism, I have this finally, and if it's worth anything suffering thru a challenging prose like that, its this 'central theme.' I'll elaborate on this more and more as the weeks go by, because there is a lot here to dissect. Now I'm on to an entertain 'short version' of Proust entitled How Proust can Change Your Life.

I'm working on losing 15 pounds this month, the family is calling me walrus, and mike p called me tubby the other day. I'm in great shape, just got the dreaded 'beer gut' -- 30 minutes to an hour on the treadmill 4 days a week will do the trick, no more cokes, and no more french fries on the intake part. I guess you could say I've got some 'happy fat,' as its been a time to relax a bit more than usual in the last month or so, but its time for that to go. As they say, your body is your vessle in life, take care of her, and that's what I'm trying to do.

More focused concise postings to come, I'm trying to get some shape or reason to this blog, the 'wrapper' and 'inner wrapper' need a bit work. Wish me luck, I need this site to look better than this. Whateva ASHTON!!!

I Heard her Story from Across the Sea, There was Never one as Fair, Lovely as She

Happy 73 to MUMMY! --- The party was at Darlene's house, lots fun, lots of kids roaming around, and yes, lots of the dreaded dry turkey to eat!

The family poll suggest that, although they appreciate my deep and cynical ramblings on life, they like the 'what did I do for dinner postings better, etc, etc. Rest assured, once life settles once again I'll be out on the town with some blogworthy material. Lots of family showed up, Austinites, Houstonites, San Antonio-ites, and other podunk-ville-ites.

Since I'm camera-less, I've had to rely on pictures taken by friends, in this case, Ashton, sending me the absolute worse pictures of me. Yea, I'm running around, playing football, soccer, etc with kids all day, sit down to take a bit, and Ashton starts snappin' pictures. The family HAS in fact adopted the name 'walrus' for me, I don't mind I suppose.

Happy Birthday to Mum, I'm sure she's got at least 20 more in her!

Tell Your Friends The Things They Wanna Hear and See, Start the Drums, Band Against the Enemy

The last of the embarrassing pictures from the past. This one from the bicycle rodeo when I was in the first grade, you see my sisters were 'cool middle school' kids, and they didn't want me to participate, they were thinking I was going to make a fool out of myself, hence make a fool out of them. Well, I came home with a second place trophy, and I had to compete against 3rd and 4th graders! BOOYAH!

Yepp, all you have to do is do the 'left sign','right sign' and the 'stop sign.' After that, you have the figure 8, and then you had to navigate thru the cones. I did it on a banana seat bike too! YIPPIE!

A few years back I took the motorbike version of this course, didn't do as well, but practice makes perfect. I miss those days of innocence, now I'm just a hater.

Don't Worry About the Government

Is anyone disgusted with all the mudslinging going on as it pertains to politics? Is anyone accused of being unpatriotic because you believe one way or another? Are you sick of generalities uttered by politicians about 5 subjects, and the mass populous 'debating' over stem cells, abortion, wars, and morality?

Times change, politicians change, but never empty promises and attention span deficits. I'm appalled that 80 something percent of the country has their mind made up before they even hear issues. I'm appalled by people's accusations that the media is bias, despite the 50 different flavors of organized media you can digest. People are influenced by the media? Are people who watch Bill O'Reilly and listen Rush Limbaugh 'objective?' If these are objective, what is 'right.' To imply there is liberal media bias means there is a 'right' bias and a 'left' bias. Is Fox news in the 'middle,' I doubt, just listen to the way O'Reilly attacks not John Stewart, but the watchers of comedy central, calling them flunky potheads. Brotha, well that's not objective.

Truth to be told, stats tell people what stats WANT them to say. I watch or listen the spectrum of news, from O'Reilly and Limbaugh, to Chris Matthews and Maher, BBC, Reuters, and yes, the Comedy Station. Isn't one who's exposed to this a better judge of objectivity?

Why do so many people have a 'center' on politics? Deeper than politics there are critics and artists. The role of the critic is as important as the role of the artist, and leaders emerge on both sides of the fence that are capable, good men and women.

The problem is these good individuals are defaced because of the lack of processing power of the American popular to determine things based on a more individual basis. Abortion or no? Stem cells or no? War or on war? It's never that simple, and things in Washington never move that dramatically, and the next talking head will take the place and try to fill the aspirations of its particular political machine. It's terrible that the political bickering contest has to paint someone 'far left' or 'far right,' but worse is people fall for this, OVER 80%.

I'll always be the swing vote, why? I vote on the issues and individuals. In the end it's a power struggle between two different ideals, I'm going to consistently vote for the individual that admits this, and who I will is the individual who has the guts to go against his political party if it means doing the right thing, and yes, for the most part, I believe the smarter individual is going to achieve this more effectively.

The beauty of this country is there are two powers, one attacking the problem from the 'top' and one attacking the problem from the 'bottom,' and both are for the most part right, and they have met in the middle, and my made up statistic says for the most part, Americans want moderate thinkers in the position of authority.

There's my rant, hopefully I'll get it all out of me soon, like World Wide Wrestling and video games.

A Diamond is a Diamond, A Stone a Stone, But a Man's Not All Good nor All Bad, Call Them As You See Them

Body, Mind and Heart

That's the theme of this posting, the catalyst is the my buddy looking inside, and my observations. This kinda stuff is what I like to read, often I think, is it good to 'expose' yourself in this manner, and my gut feeling is......The system is watching you as it is, you may as well use it as a mechanism for self discovery. In reality, few people 'bite' on subject matter like this, and below, a possible explanation why.

I see too many couples struggling to make it to zero, or the fight to stay afloat - which obviously leads to detachment, and doesn't allow for positive victories for where it counts in your soul. I always wonder what is the distinct reasons in the minds of others who struggle, most can be hand picked from a standard list of human elements, what shocks me is that these sorts of people know their own hands hold them back, and justify the reasons of their actions, relying on 'feelings, and the heart.'

People need other people, I'm often asked about settling down and all that stuff, and simply put, I say, I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person. Since I've been 'alone,' I'm able to cultivate close relationships with family and friends, while still be able to be 'available' for the right person. People who know me could say I look a bit too much into these things, and I say the same thing over and over again, but the beauty is in the subtle details.

I used to think with the heart, just as Ben Folds said he used to be a 'sentimental guy,' and here is an explanation of why it hasn't worked and probably never will work for me in the future. The heart can be mislead, the heart can fall victim of 'love' endorphins (which fade over time), the heart breaks and drama and sweatpants phase usually follow. I've been thru the ringer with the 'follow your heart' cliche as it applies to human emotion, and I chose not to go that route again.

One may look at this and think, how sad, but the contrary is actually the truth. The mind doesn't lead your soul into dark alleys of fools vultures and undertakers, unless you ARE a fool, vulture or undertaker. Your mind should be that pit bull you keep in the backyard to keep the 'terrorists' out of your house.

A connection of the mind and body is only possible if both 'participants' have reached that state of mind of comfort with their own body and soul. It's a strong bind which bears no confusion, no indifference, certainly no drama, but it carries understanding, respect, and enlightenment. I know what I'm missing, and I know what I'm holding out for, it's really easy the way I see it.

This a package deal, and the heart will tag along, a person's mind holds the lasting key to someone's heart, and over time, this endeavour is much more fulfilling and will keep you from becoming a statistic.

Shame on me for shunning destiny and things like this, however human beings are means to an end, and serve an individual purpose. If you believe this, there's many ways to get from point A to point B as it pertains to this stuff, it's a matter of cognitive individual choice, and the more you use the head on your shoulders, the better off.

Tired Like The Beggar with the Cold Inside His Bones, Looking for the Pleasure that he Knew was so Far Gone

What a night, certainly can't recap, but it was an evening with Mr. Sugarland Gillar, at the Mucky Duck in Houston checking out The South Austin Jug Band.

An interesting night, considering the jug band was playing to a packed house who paid 12 bucks a pop to get in the door. I was jokingly saying that the SAJB draws a crowd of 8-10 people when they play in Austin.

The Duck sat in the midst of old money Houston, the Houston crowd inside was very pleasant, a different sorta vibe, can't be bothered to expound brain waves at the moment to articulate.

We ran into this dude (Wittenberg) (Wittenberg is where ol' Martin Luther slapped the 95 Thesis on the door, just before the Pope said 'Off with his head'). A pleasant night of involved conversation and chill music, and 2 dollar bills and 50 cent pieces as change.

This Gun's For Hire, Even If We're Just Dancin' in the Dark

First off, I LIKE this place, Mohawk Austin, it's a proper place to chill have a beer, great indoors, great outdoors, great upstairs, great lighting, great prices, great entertainment, yea.

Sarah B, my Austin friend displaced in NYC was in for a visit. As she tells me how to 'make your small Brooklyn apartment comfortable, we soak up the atmosphere.

Speaking up soaking up, Ashley and Mike D came out later in the evening, and while Sarah B and I were drinking some intoxicating wheat beers, Ashley and Mike D opted for for the liters of Dos XX. And yes, the beers are bigger than Ashley's head!

Other pictures for the evening, geeze I just can't seem to get ride of those chins or those baby fat cheeks. Patience on the pictures, I'm trying to get a 'system' down in this CSS universe. Ugly but work in progress.

The Gossip's Bearing Down on Me, The Kids are Pairing off in Front of Me, I Should've Stayed Home

If I had a slogan to put on a bumper sticker, or one to articulate what I was thinking in the picture below, the tag line is what it would be. I'm sure that's what I was thinking back then, just didn't know how to explain it, in my 14 year old body.

If I can recall correctly, this was the FIRST night I went out in a social setting like this. I didn't know how to process it all, can you see the fear in my eyes, zits on my face, and hair on my head?? I went with one of the hottest girls in our class (thanks Jamie) as my date, and I was PETRIFIED of the implications of a 'date,' (still kinda am I think), so petrified that I was miserable the entire night, and had trouble looking anyone in the eye, not to mention that was one of the first time wearing a suit and all that jazz.

Yea, the picture captures adolescence at its finest, luckily the football team made me cool by saying things like 'Bruns don't wear your socks like that, etc, etc, etc --- meanwhile scratching these things down in my little notebook.'

Zits and hair gone, and the eyes a bit more seasoned, I still approach the bar scene with the same contempt. I stroll in, everything seems so fickle and shallow, not the people, just the environment and games and bad music, and the mere idea that integrity and togetherness is not rewarded in this type of environment. Like Chris Rock would say about all the hoes dancin' on the floor, 'Man, I hate to see the guy that's got to pick a wife out of this mess.'

Out with mates and dates and friends is the way to go, pub style. Good conversation is always a plus, or rather a must. Yea, that's the way to roll, for me at least, because the average girl that grinds up on me still makes me blush :( ---

He's A Bandit and a Heartbreaker, Oh But Jesus Was A Crossmaker

Mom made us go to Sunday school, to the extent that my two sisters had 14 years of perfect attendance, and I had 13 years. I still remember the Sunday I missed, I was about 12. I was really caught up in a Lost in Space episode and I couldn't be bothered to make the trip to Sunday school. Well, mum didn't talk to me for about 2 weeks, so therefore I didn't miss a Sunday ever again.

Notice 3 Bruns kids in the picture, my two lovely sisters in the back row middle and just check out that mop of hair I had on my head!

I'm glad Mom stressed for us to go to Sunday school every Sunday. If not for this, I would have slept in on Sunday most of the time, instead I always learned something, was exposed to different ideas, and met a lot of great people in the process.

Ummmm, This Used to Be My Playground??

Diggin' through an old shoe box full of pictures is always a surprise, more to come of old school pictures, for the purpose of archiving. This is in Shiner, Texas, the little league team 'The Mints,' circa, damn I can't even remember. ('Mints' because we were sponsored by the First National Bank, Shiner....I think)

Actually our uniforms, especially our hats looked liked pirates, arg! We were the best team in the league two years in a row. Just look at that dorky PiMP on the far right!

This makes me think of the Feb 10th Shiner Alumni baseball game, in which the old roomies are asking me to play.....Boy that's an accident waiting to happen. I can just see myself, some little 17 year old punk pitcher throwin' a 70 mile an hour fast ball up there, I take a whiff, there goes the back.

For the record, back in the day, I either would hit a foul tip or a home run, and I didn't hit too many home runs...:(

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For Blog redesign sake.....I'm workin' on a 'built in drop shadow' for my pictures Ashton, just wait, pretty soon I'm going to get you!!!

Career 2.0

Here's what I want to be when I grow up, at least for the next ten years. Everyone hears about web 2.0, myspace, and all the other goodies out there to digest on the web today, but I think very few understand shortcoming of the digital era and what impedes its growth.

For those of you who have been trapped inside a closet, there is a social revolution going on, and technology is driving initiatives which crush borders and streamline communication among different human 'digital services.'

Today, people are able to be heard, they are able to interact interesting ways, and they are able to participate in digital communities all around the globe. 'Entities' can / will / and are exploiting these social circles not only for monetary benefits, but for power and influence as well. This is nothing new, but its just much more easier and much more in depth in this day and age. It's subtle, but over time, anything you do on the web is 'in the system' and is used for historical trend analysis (i.e. Google may know more about you than you know about yourself, what you were 'doing' 4 years ago that you probably can't remember, etc)

Which begs the need for an identity management system, where the individual is put in the center of this ring of chaos, and they control the content they wish to have on the web, they control which entities they decide to interact with, they have more control over their personal information and thus more control of their lives. A few players are emerging in this 'battle' for federated identity (as it pertains to the web), OpenID, Cardspace, as well as a collage of products from IBM. These players are counting on a ring of trust and compatibility that will put the individual at the center of a happy circle of confidence.

Crazy thing is all this is brand new, the problem has been there for a while, but its really just now starting to be addressed, therefore we are on the forefront of what could be one of the 'coolest' (in the uncool 'professional' sorta way) undertakings of our time, with implications all over the place.

I'm reading a white paper that explains the challenges in 4 different views, Social, Technical, Legal, and business, I'll spout my two cents on what each of them mean to me, based on my knowledge of the subject.

Social - You ever stop to think about what kinda teen drama (and even adult drama) goes on in the confines of myspace? As the web gets more usable, interactive and popular, think about that sorta drama on a 'world wide web' basis. Think about the instances you could be victim of someones rant, and think about instances where privacy does matter, even in a social environment, especially when it comes to the integration of ideas (i.e. merging your blogger account with last.fm with your wiki site, (or obviously something with greater stakes) etc, etc). With a proper identity online, this aids in accountability of the things you say and the things you do on the web, and could perhaps provide a means of getting slander or other bad stuff 'out of the system.'

Technical - Besides Skip, Microsoft and Tivoli, all sorts of institutions will begin to spring up to 'hold' your identity, and the technology is going to have to provide a means for you the individual to 'use' your personal information and credentials at different services, i.e. banks, academia, employment, government, etc, etc. Hence federation of identity. I still think the major players are still scratching their heads on this one, but when the dust settles, the individuals will climb aboard a system that they trust is safe and easy to use. I believe this to be a big challenge.

Legal - It ain't in the books yet (OJT IT IS), so another facet of challenge. It's interesting to watch different groups fumble around with DRM laws, and interesting how A**le is the biggest supporter of DRM, in lieu that music downloading service they have. When it comes to digital law and digital content, I believe the creative commons has it down, and the Electronic Frontier Foundation currently works to protect your digital identity. Think about how much easier this would be if they had a way to uniquely identify your identity across websites. This is the foundation for lawyers to protect you from 'bad things' on the web.

Business - Decentralization is cutting into the profit margins of all digital content providers, and step one isn't DRM (don't you get pissed when you buy a 'music player' and it doesn't do mp3, or wma, or mp4, ogg, etc, etc, etc), it's an identity metasystem that works across the board. Also, this goes back to the good ol' supply chain management, streamlining interactions between your buyers and sellers, therefore reducing 'cost per transaction,' therefore making some CEO happy, hey, maybe that will be me one day. :) -- It also helps corporate infrastructure with 'user maintenance,' and provides 'single sign-on' access for different systems and different applications.....blah blah blah....

One may ask, well how does this help people? Off the top of my head I can think of a few things. Think about every time you search for something at Google, think about a 'quasi fascist' politician fighting the 'war on terror' subpoena'ing information from your Google account. Well, you're not a terrorist, but we found this, this, and this suspicious behavior.......It's that 'slippery slope' people often talk about. Think about all the websites you have to sign up for a new account with...I do about 5-6 per week. Think about how convenient it would be to have your information in one place and these websites work around you. Think about identity theft and misrepresentation. Think about all the personalized spam you receive and how to combat that. Bad people go pfishing, if you have a good identity system, what are they going to find? Think about all the walls we build in society (and even on borders< &#^%!) -- With better identity control, once your 'in the system,' as long as there is nothing at stake that is exposed, a bad guy goes, it sucks in here, I'm leaving. Think about being able to reduce artifically produced viral marketing. The list can go on and on and on.

To conclude, this stuff spans many knowledge areas, it will always be exciting and heated, I'm thinking your selfish, greedy, and especially control freaks type people won't get what all the hub-bub is about, while the road is being paved around them. This is the revolution, and I believe we as a society for the sake of progress need to put a 'meter' on it......a meter that 'works' for all parties involved, with concessions being made by all parties.

Ahoy mate.......land!!! The ship moves, but it moves slowly.

The Party is Jumpin', With the Bass Kicked in and the Vegas are Pumpin'

Guess global warming is influencing the weather in South Texas. Once in 86 I built a snowman, there was enough snow, I've never made a snow angel, its on the 'to do' list.

What I CAN do almost every year is set a pitcher of water on the porch, and to my excitement in the morning after a nice freeze, I get to see the water frozen. :) --- Cheap entertainment I tell ya!

Later in the evening, The Beast comes over and we go looking for ice. At the park, it's BITTER cold, wind blowing like crazy, making my feet feel like they're going to fall off. How the heck am I going to do Everest one day.

We take a stroll down Shiner town square, not a soul to be seen, beast doing his version of Wipeout on a slippery / iced over bench.

Here's a van, completely covered in ice, was some pretty cool imagery, and the frozen beast in front of the van.

Last stop on the list, Bernie's crib for a refreshingly warming cocktail. Beast is growing long hair again, If it wouldn't be for that beard, I couldn't tell these two dudes apart!

We contemplated 'wimping out' and getting a ride home, but Bernies Bronco had the ice coat on it as well. Instead we humped it a tad bit over a mile against the wind to the other side of town.

The nightcap was taking some long loops on the back roads, looking for trouble (so we could help, obviously.)

I guess this sorta weather isn't pleasant for the long haul for human beings, but the rain sure does make the grass happy :)

And When you Pray for Independence, Boy, You Better Stand Your Ground

The weekly review -- let's see, the highlight of my week was Friday night, geeking out with some private stock, and listening to none other than Bon Jovi's New Jersey.

If I were a rock star from the 80's it would have to be Bon Jovi. Why you ask? Well, if you look at the track record, he's thrown the best parties, he's still together with his band, of course you have the typical track record of dating super models, he still sells out abnormally large places in Switzerland, and on top of it all, he's in control, and he's a nice guy.

It got me thinking about another nice guy, in a roundabout bizarre kinda way, Perry Farrell. First years of college I LOVED the 'Kettle Whistle' version of 'Been Caught Stealing,' in which Perry has the following one way dialogue with a 'fan(s).' I can't remember it fully, but it goes something like this.

"You guys like stealing?" -- "What about another man's girl? Would you steal another man's girl?" -- "Is there no chivalry in your soul?" --
-- "How insecure are you pal?" -- "Do you need to steal another man's girl,
or can't you find one on your own?" -- "I just wanted to ask you
that."

This got me thinking about the differences between chivalry and cowardice and how they play the role in modern day society. I don't know how I'm linking this together, but somewhere in the course of the last ten years, this is how my mind interprets things.

I would think almost everyone of us has these two traits working transparently within us. I used to be a coward in many senses, but one day something snapped in me that said, "Hey, If that dude can do it, so can I." Pointing back to Mr Wise Sondre Lerche says 'nothing stays the same, I stand in my own way,' a great line that speaks of the cliche that you yourself are your own worse enemy. (Isn't it funny how so many songs or poetry speaks of the same scenarios, but is able to phrase things differently, putting emphasis on different subtleties....---I'm sure there is a literary word for this, but I don't know it.)

Chivalry, loosely define --- brave, courteous and honourable behaviour -- (one day I'd like to write a book 'Feminism, from a dude who has sympathy to the cause --- for I believe true feminists are a 'sect' who truly 'get it,' along with true progressive patriots like MLK and this dude.

I think about how chivalry affects us as individuals. I try to take the 'high road' in times of question, because it projects 'good energy,' and there's no tellin' what your sphere of influence is most of the time, I guess you could consider it the 'role model' train of thought.....sorta. Before I go to bed, I often think about the people who are closest and dearest in my life, the ones who have played a major part in shaping who I am, people who have had a lasting contribution to my life, as certainly I give the nod to the gods to say, I wish GREAT THINGS to all these people, and I forgot who said it, but I've come to the realization, it's not a crazy life, its just life.

I believe chivalry in this day and age is support, tolerance and understanding. I've always known it's easy to turn a cold shoulder to a misunderstanding (especially when it comes to 'problems of the heart), however, I've learned if you choose not to turn the cold shoulder, you can gain a tremendous incite as to who you are as an individual human being, and that knowledge is power, at least I think it is.

There are other viewpoints.....I saw a bumper sticker...said 'Fake, It's the New Real,' and I think gee, if that is the case, my whole charade up there about chivalry is trumped by being 'fake', which is the new real in many circumstances. Being fake is an extreme form of cowardly behavior. It says, I haven't took the time to figure out who I am, and I am going to do the best imitation of myself, and mimic the fashionable trends and ways of life that are 'safe.'

I can see a light at the end of the tunnel on an idealized chivalry, and I need help to get there, and the puzzles pieces have to fall into place, and lace some luck in with it all. In the meantime, all we can do as individuals is work with who you are and what you've got, but I think most of us would be lying to ourselves if we thought we 'had it down.'

It takes courage to stand for what you believe, and often it goes un-noticed in society because fake is the new real. We live in a society where the good guy doesn't slay the dragon and save the princess, it's not that easy anymore. Now, it's inner demons, and they are worse than any sorta medieval dragon one could encounter, it DOES involve pain to look inside......but THANKFULLY (dripping sarcasm) we have a pill for that. :-)

And Your Shape on the Dance Floor, Will Have me Thinking Such Filth and Gauge my Eyes

I once heard you know you are getting old when the phone rings on a Saturday night, and you hope its not for you.

That being said, it was no problem staying home to watch The Shins performance on SNL, consider our Austin clan has been going ape sh*t over them as of late. Even though the performance was 'Phantom Limb' and 'New Slang,' its nice to see Mr Crazy James Mercer in action.

Here's a crazy Shins / Interpol / NME bickering contest which I find funny. Says Interpol and The Shins are pretty much polar opposite bands, and NME sucks. I agree with all those sentiments, and it reminds me of a buddy of mine who is a big New Order (which I think Interpol is a big rip-off, of) fan.

It's really kinda crazy, that even in the digital era, there are still people who are pretentious about music, i.e. 'my tastes are better than yours,' and I'm more exposed than you are, etc, etc. Well, there may be people that spend more time seeking out 'new talent' and things like that, but for the most part all the cross referencing mumbo jumbo out there on the web these days, anyone can be a 'pro' when it comes to 'indie' music in a short amount of time.

There comes a saturation point however, I've talked with a few friends who are big in the music scene down here, and when does it get to a point where you just can't 'fake it' anymore, and go yea, 'I know you're my friend, but really your band isn't that great..... :-(' The true talent will float to the top, and the 'myspace' exposure is there for everyone to see and enjoy, and by golly, that's how it should be.

I guess it all depends on how many 'eggs you want to put in the music basket,' and priorities will change with age and the season or whatever crisis you have at work, etc, etc. I do believe in 'trained ears' and perfect pitch, but for the most part its about opinions, and everyone's opinion counts.

I have always thought that genuine musical connections are those of 'word of mouth,' even on the advent of last.fm, amazon match, pandora, and all the other stuff......because, as a paraphrased quote once says something like ......'individuals have to feel unique, and they also have to feel they are part of a community.'

THANK GOD the indie community is growing, hopefully it will have enough muscle to take on the synthetically produced pop stars one day.

Idiot Wind Blowin' in From the Front Door, Idiot Wind Blowin' in Thru the Back

Two catalysts for this post, one, GW Bush (#%$^$%&# goof ball) says he's going to send more troops to Iraq, and two, during my hair appointment today, I spoke with a girl who's husband is over there fighting the fight.

I'll spare the media analysis on the subject of will a troop surge help or not, I'm sure there are valid arguments on either side of the coin. That being said, at first thoughts, I'm why the hell are we sending more troops, what's the plan for these peeps, and will it actually do any good.

On further thought, I'm thinking we have to chip away at the problem from every angle. As much as I don't like the idea of sending more troops to the region, perhaps it will aid in making the area more stable. As much as the average right wing nutjob doesn't like the idea, there should be dialogue with Iran and Syria about how to best handle to cultural conflict, these religious groups are seeded in these respective countries. What else can we do? we can let the UN do their job, acknowledge the Geneva Convention, and if we are going to ever act the aggressor in the future, negate the significance of things like Nuremberg Trials, otherwise war becomes a 'do as I say do, don't do as I do' agenda.

Troop surges, hmmmm, I really do support our troops and it's a shame we can't figure out that the whole 'lets force our ideology down your throat approach' to foreign policy doesn't work. What part of history do we not understand.

SINCE our troops are SMART ENOUGH, I don't see a need to privatize any efforts of war, things get icky that way really fast, just ask the dude who created 'Iraq for Sale'. Now if I were Billy Bob from Shiner, and I worked next to Mr. Haliburton, I'm getting paid 15 bucks an hour, he's getting 150 bucks per hour, well, that would lead to some moral problems to say the least. If the government of the United States has the gall to attack a country based on a hunch, leave private industry and war profiteers out of it. Now if Hitler #2 comes into power, that's a different story. When did we lose discretion in this country thru collectivist thought, or lack thereof.?

To sum it up, I'm often asked about my political affiliation, and Chris Rock says it best. If you vote before you hear the issue or the stance on the issue, you're a f*ckin' fool. There's some things I'm liberal about, there's some things I'm conservative about. Crime, I'm conservative, prostitution, I'm liberal.

Simply for the record, I can't see how the right can blame liberal media bias anymore with the advent of fox news.

Fortune Depends on the Tone of Your Voice

I just got back from a congrats dinner thrown by some fellow PM*'ers. I got a nice certificate, I call it my 'get out of jail free' card.

During the lunch, I cited a quotation, figured I share it. I don't think leaders have to know a definition of a leader, but for people who 'don't get it,' I think its a good assessment.

"A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the quality of his actions and the integrity in his intent. Without passion, boldness, and focus, consistent success is elusive."

Nice, Very Nice ----

I'm Not Crying, Familiar with These Strange Realities

Let's see where to begin, like my wonderful niece, I'm going to try to pop a 'heavy' blog posting out there once a week. What will probably be a long rant, full of misspellings and contradictions.

Lets see, if I can recall what went on this week, I have that can't remember sh*t disease. Biggest thing that strikes my mind was the 'Emo's Free Week' night on the town, and the topic of this rant shall be........

Tenacity vs Normalcy with a touch of what is meant by authenticity.

Tenacity -- I used to be under the perception that tenacity was the way to be 'cool' when it came to a night out on the town. Don't get me wrong, tenacity is cool when it comes to fulfilling endeavours, but when it comes to trading stories of how drunk one got, or 'I got drunker than you', etc, etc, etc.....In this context, eventually you face the music and admit there's always someone cooler than you, and the 'payoff,' well really isn't a payoff.

Well, someone said when you're young, popular, and beautiful and if you rely on this, you've only got one way to go, and obviously that's down. The new edict I'm trying to sell, is that super cool people are ambitious, having a realistic vision that you are able to articulate, and you trying to sell it. That's the cool version of tenacity.

Normalcy -- This young lad and I made friends the other night people watching. It's interesting watching as an 'outsider' when it comes to a rock n roll lifestyle. Three dudes, walking down the street, starched collars (one of these probably cost more than my entire wardrobe), lots of product in the hair, lookin' like men on a mission. Three girls, walking down the street, 'party' attire, giggling amongst themselves, perhaps at some dudes absurd pickup line, but maybe just like Cyndi Lauper says 'girls just wanna have fun.'

I think I've had a pretty good grasp on normalcy, and it lies somewhere between the collar shirts, and my $8 Old Navy special that's a few years old. I've got to work to bring myself to the level of ummmm, maybe a nice, ummmm, Polo? shirt.

Normalcy in terms of moderate drinking is surely is on the horizon, it's started and it feels great. The nail in the coffin will be a new job.

The Shins talk about 'posts that you can heat your faith on,' obviously one being religion, and one day I'll further bash about this bureaucracy between you and a God, but for now lets just say it's a work in progress trying to sift thru the 'tools we devise to make sinking stones fly.'

Another post is the human need for togetherness. I recently read an article about can the human mind actually process 'freewill,' and my opinion is 'HECK no, sure can't.' That being the case, stability becomes more and more important to you. Individual choices (not bad choices, just choices) have temporary landed me a harbor with sis, and yes, it does make me feel like Robbie Hart, Wedding Singer style. Stability comes with 'settling your a$$ down', and more of that is probably on the horizon for me.

Many people face an uphill march, when it comes to the taboos of society. Weather it be the idea of short changin' yourself in a relationship, accepting a savior in the ether, wondering if you really do love big brother, or just plain turning left when society turns right, I'd like to think the uphill march is more fulfilling, and I'll try to make the hike in whatever circumstances I can.

Authenticity, whew, how many dudes in franz ferdinand suits did I see the other night? How many gals did I see in prom dress type getups with hair poofed this way and that. The look is authentic, until you go to a place that has 1,000 people that look the same (don't get me wrong, ATX is way cool, and maybe I'm just envious b/c I can fit my a$$ in a size 28 waist.)

True authenticity is really a state of mind that comes from tolerance of different things, and can be achieved thru engagement, not only in all things cool, and all things digital (i.e. your favorite websites, new, hangouts, and IPOD), but also trying new things, getting out of your comfort zone, and for the extremely hip culture, that means caring about your parents and showing a genuine interest in other people's lives, and other lame stuff like that, many things in which people in general don't take the time to do.

That's authenticity to me, keeping in touch with the cool kids (but not in competition), bustin' your butt to keep up with society, information and technology, and finally tackling the overhead of life gracefully.

Puttin' all your stuff into different silos, knowing which one is which, and when to take the tenacious approach, the normal approach, and keeping in touch with authenticity, the hygiene factors in your life should be more favorable. I'm getting it sorta worked out in my head as I type, hey that's what this is for, right.

For 2007, I'm considering ditchin' the 'what's in my head' approach to the blog, and focusing on a an approach more like this or this. It gets old, it gets boring. I'm going to write in a more engaging, instead of the 'as a matter of fact' approach, and see how that works, and try to encourage feedback, etc.

O well, enough is enough for now, If you've read this far, like Mr. T would say, 'I pity the foool.'

Time Passes, You Got to Reel Against It

Happy Birthday to Abbey celebration! Today marks the Abbey-meisters birthday, and me taking some irrelevant, non flashed pictures, just happy that I found the ol' camera.

First and every picture comes from the top of Maggie Mae's, one of the best places in Austin to 'people watch.'

Not to mention, the Blind Pig's upstairs patio bleeds into this patio, hey they had a live band kickin', which was better than.....scroll to next picture

A U2 coverband downstairs, if that's not 'ok' enough, the downstairs was being broadcasted upstairs, hmmm, I understand sold out SXSW shows, might be a somewhat cool idea, but yea, whatever.

Happy BDay Abbey, a more humorous posting coming outside of this one.

I have no Experience but I'm a Big Fan of Money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I Keep it in a jar. I'd like to put more in It.

It's that time of life, you know, everyone knows it, it's RESUME BUILDING TIME, and JOB INTERVIEW TIME!

Let's examine why I hate both of these things so badly. First off, the truth, I'm usually not nervous at a job interview, even when there is a board of 5 people throwing questions at you rapidly. I have no doubt about my skills and what's represented on my resume, and I can provide plenty 'meat' to cover the content I provide to a perspective employer.

Resumes -- Yea, you gotta beef that puppy up with a bunch of fluff half the time to 'get in the door.' You're bullshitting bullshitters so to speak, lacing the resume with keywords so 'bots' like Resumix will pick you up in the crowd, and if you are so lucky to get picked up by the bot, you are subject to 'evaluation' from an HR department that half the time doesn't know how to 'read between the lines.'

Interviews -- What is going to distinguish me from some other dillhole in the course of an hour long interview? Is it the way I present myself in that amount of time? I have to buy a suit for this experience, or Deanne Carter said it best for her poor date 'Did I shave my legs for this?' Tell me about yourself? It says here that....? Do you like to work by yourself or as a team? Or you can get let Googles complicated computer algorithm decide if you are the pawn that gets thru the door.

We really all know that who you know is just as important as what you know in a job hunt. When did the 'pure' human element get lost in all this stuff, and can you imagine that poor manager sitting at a desk somewhere going, 'What kinda craplications am I going to get today for this job that I need a 'good body' to fill?'

Well, I don't want to be that guy, I want to portray a realistic view of who I am. When that staffer looks at my resume, I want him to go hmmmm, it's got potential, do the meet and greet, get our job talk on, and in 6 months from that point, that person / organization will go 'Damn, I'm sure glad we hired that guy.'

Here Come Johnny and He'll Tell You the Story, Backbeat the Talkin' Blues

RTFM, I used to have a shirt when I thought those sentiments, as I transition from computer geek to 'business professional,' I think differently about that age old saying.

Rookie advice --
Sh*t About Contracts --

-- Plan your purchase
-- Plan your contract
-- Request Response
-- Select Sellers
-- Administer Contract
-- Close Contract

....and pay close attention to all this sh*t, all the time -- non-verbal communication and all that jazz.

In any case, in ANY contract negotiating, buy a lawyer to read sh*t in advance of anything you sign, intentions swing like pendulums, and contracts are written for different circumstances, and most importantly, what Jerry McGuire taught us the whole 'But'cha do have my word, and it's stronger than oak' simply doesn't hold water.

If you don't understand what you're getting into, all things considered, find someone who does.

Que Sera Sera, psychohistory says things are they way the are, and the way they should be, and in dealing with contracts just stick to ol' boy scout motto, "BE PREPARED."

......and yes, I do practice what I preach

When In Doubt, F*ck the World, Forget all the Things You've Heard

Well, Steve will probably be the first to tell you that my blog has suffered from content this year, as opposed to 2005. There are several reasons for this lack of rock n' roll lifestyle, which I can explain later, but first the highs and the lows.

First high is 'keeping the blog going.' Damn, its hard to keep something like this up and runnin', main reason is you're are scrutinized by all the critics, life overlaps, and it's hard to stay relevant and somewhat captivating (even for myself as I write) in the context of life and all the personalities involved in life.

Travel, well it's been a good year for some trips. I was fortunate enough to take a hop across the pond to Germany to witness back to back epic gigs of The Babyshambles and The Divine Comedy. I was able to head out to LA to see Belle and Sebastian with the LA Philharmonic, and The Shins opening for them. I was able to make a Turkey Day out of Roswell and other Land of Enchantment touristy sites. A nice slingshot trip to the chocolate city for a best bud's bachlor party.

Speaking of that, Manuelabor and Lacinator deserve a paragraph in and of itself, they put it into words better than me, but for lack of sentimentality, it's very special.

I've had the opportunity to get to know my two Round Rock nephews, their cool personalities, and a glimpse of what it's like to have kids, and it's not all that bad, but for me, not anytime soon if ever.

On the flip of that, I've diverted back to the life as a vagabond. The long story short, couch hopping, and finding solace with that wonderful sister of mine. Pink Floyd gets it right when they say 'when I come home cold and tired, it's good to warm my bones beside the fire.'

Why the lack of content on the blog? Well perhaps the biggest reason, other than the travelling, the drama, inner demons, character attacks, (and what seems to be leading down a self-victimization, which I hate, thus I'll stop)...is, the PM* program, and damn I had to study quite a bit for that thing, I actually went 'back to school' for a while, and personally I hate academia, ol' Rhett says it best, 'You don't learn anything, you're just waitin' around.'

Looking back at Dec 05, holy sh*t, I seemed to be a tormented kid, and I recall exactly how I was feeling, what I was thinking, just one of those 'healing' times in life, where I had to think thru things, and yes, I'd be lying if I wouldn't admit that most of the turbulence was my sentiments about a girl. I never shrugged, but have put things into perspective, and thru my own process I've made lemonade out of lemons.

I recall a comment a buddy made on one of these posts earlier, and he said to just keep everything into perspective, and know what you are getting into, and accepting it for what it is, and don't think things will ever drastically change. This gem of wisdom finally stuck with me, and that's something that is going to carry over with me into the new year. This applies to life, love, work, people, war, all these things.

The Diz has been the backbone for 2007, I applaud and respect his rationality and together-ness, and damn, I can't wait to be like that one day soon.

2007 holds a lot of interesting challenges for me, I'll be getting a new job, I'll be trying to save for a trip to Japan, I'll be looking at the whole human element with a tad bit more hesitation, and I hope to go to a billion or so shows, even though the back is giving out, and I'm officially not a 20-something anymore.

Thanks for all the perspective this year from everyone, thanks for the tough love and love love, and I look forward to making another year of not as cynical happiness in 2008!

Time for a Tylenol, time for bed.

Return to Dick Clark

New Years Eve 2006 was the first time in ages that I've stayed 'home,' home in this case meaning Bob and Melanie's crib. For the record books, we watched 'You, Me and Dupree' (kinda) and then I polished off 'The Aviator' for the nightcap. Like old times sake, we even popped it on Dick Clark a few times, like I did when I was a young lad.

Yea, there's the head that's too big for most sports fitted hats, not to mention any 'Party 2007' hats. It's nice waking up New Years Day without the hangover, even though I look like death in that picture.

Bob's egg and bacon delight, and a short geeking session on virtualization was just right to ring in the New Year! :)

Some Day Somebody's Gonna Ask You, A Question That You Should Say Yes To

Today was the wedding where Manuelabor and the Lacinator got married. Two very special people, a very special event, and I was felt honored to partake in the day.

Let's just call Manuelabor 'the iceman,' Mr. He wasn't nervous at all. The Diz and I headed up Friday, and stayed thru Sunday at The LaSalle Hotel, in downtown renovated Bryan.

The wedding was short and sweet, I didn't lose the rigs, I looked like a fat headed penguin in a tuxedo, and I big time enjoyed myself at the reception.

I did a speech, I kinda remember the extent of what I said, but not in its entirety. I just remember waking up around 4 pm from an afternoonish nap going, 'Damn Manuel, what am I gonna say tonight?'

The bride and groom leave, and we head to the Dixie Chicken with some new friends at some point in the night, and I ran into the Beast there (hopefully he'll get that blog rollin' again soon so I can learn about some animals.) At some point in the night I fell and skinned up my knee, but that's just how it goes.

Manuelabor and the Lacinator are probably landing in London here sometime soon, for a stint there, and then off to Ireland. Pretty awesome, all around. I had a Jim Dandy time.

Alas, no pictures yet.....

His Heart was Stronger Than a Heavy Metal Bullet, That's Why I Dedicate This Song

Time for top 10 of the year, random notes of things I learned about music this year, The Hollywood Bowl is the sh*t, SXSW is in a league of its own, and this was the first year I got to check it out in style, and the grassroots sh*t going on in Austin with music is stellar.

As for albums, opinions are like a$$holes, everyones got em', here's my opinions.

Wincing the Night Away - Shins - They are the unsung heroes for 2007, with the album being 'leaked' months earlier. Come January 24th, I'm gonna click my heels get the devils in line, go down to my local record store and buy 2 copies, hell maybe three. Hell maybe if we all did that it would make Freakonomics.

Regina Specktor - Well, yes, It may be a bit cheesy, call me a sucker for that kinda voice, but this is an album of simple truths. It's an album I could have picked up with I was 15 and understood what was going on. Being old as the hills, I can listen to the album and abstract the content into what amounts to just a feel good album about love and the human element.

Racounters - BB and Jack Black at it with some killer guitars, one of those albums crafted by hanging out, chillin', no pressure, no tortured artists here, just a few dudes that like to chill with each other and make music.

Mando Diao - Ode to Ochrasy - Happyland (Ochrasy), that's what this CD is all about. Sad about something, pop it in. Better than strokes, mouses, chiefs and killers, legible lyrics of sentimental nostalgia, focus on the music and not trying so hard on the image thing.

Belle and Sebastian - The Life Pursuit - Yea, blah, blah, blah -- I like that Stuart sings about the abandoned tube station, and the song about him not being able to get his clothes washed correctly.

Tenacious D - How can one who gets The D not put this gem in the list. It's great JB is coming a 'mainstream' actor, yet talks about slashing dragon 'cockles' and things like this. Best part of the album is when the devil takes KG down to the depths of hell, and yes, the government does f*ckin' suck.

Paul McCartney - Chaos and Creation - A throwback from end of 05. Paul did turn 64, and album-wise put out the best in his career. Kudos to Nigel Godrich for giving the album 'that feel.' Too Much Rain, English Tea, holy sh*t, fantastic album, fantastic sound.

The Divine Comedy - Fanfare for Coming Muse - Neil often speaks of truth that is stranger than fiction, more often then not puts taboo subjects to song, and the more money he makes, the more instruments he adds to the band. Caught them in Berlin this year, spine tingling instrumentation and togetherness...yea, this isn't your typical indie rock act. And of course one can't forget to mention the tribute to mom.

Rhett Miller - The Believer - Is talking to your girl like long division? Do you have a rogue rat hand that moves over the borderline? Do you have some fireflies in your life? Nice little 'gave it a shot, gave it up left the cruel world to us' tribute to Elliot, and the question is when are the people on this planet going to demand more from their music, and acknowledge this Esquire Magazine heart throb of the year is the real mutha fuckin' deal.

Number One - M Ward - Post War - One, remember making the mix tapes, and trying to figure out the proper sequence, well, the album is in perfect sequence. Maybe he DID just climb the hill and talked to an old old man on the hill. Magic tricks, post war, requiems, and people who are right in the head, it's all there, and it's all abso-fuckin-lutely-fantastic!