He Could Throw that Speed Ball By You, Make You Look Like a Fool

Home sweet home, at least for the next three nights. If it wasn't 60ish bucks a night, I could totally live at this Econolodge for the next however long.

Chances are though, I'm hoping to live in this building, The Exchange Building, downtown SA, I timed it today, and it take about 5 minutes to get to work from here, that's EPIC. The only thing that's not so appealing, downtown beggers, not The Beggars who sing Lovely Soul Detonator, but the ones who want money.

Here's the front porch.

Finally, and the last is certainly the best, a reunion lunch with Nate-Dogg, who is graduating from Ft. Sam tomorrow. We went to the Hard Rock Cafe, drank a few Stellas, and then headed home. Walking downtown with soldier Nate-Dogg, a woman said "Thank You" to Nate, as he's walking in his army attire.

We’re Battleships, Driftin’ in Our Wee River

For those keepin' count, here's my opinions on what has been good and bad in mom's chemotherapy treatments. For the record, Mom's first treatment was last Thursday, the weekend left her burping and lot and bloating, and sick enough to miss Collin's birthday party on Sunday.

The Good - Hospital staff everywhere (Yoakum, Cuero, and Victoria), very professional, exceptional service, all around gives me warm and fuzzies. MEDICARE -- 14,000 for the surgery, Medicare pays for 13,000 of it.

The Bad - To top off the feeling of having chemo, how bout paying for 3 pills at 100 dollars EACH? And how bout a handful of others that are 50 dollars each? Research and development, yea, I'd say a necessary evil for these peeps to make innovative drugs to fight cancer, just isn't fair for 'our category' of people who don't default on bills.

THE SHEER UGLY - Can you say our INSURANCE POLICY!!! GOD AWEFUL! I had my time haggling with them on the phone, sis' had her turn, and in the perspective of things, they have paid 400 dollars for a random visit, and DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH the surgery. Only 4,000 a year support for chemotherapy, and no support for pills. The only MAJOR DISSAPOINTMENT!
--------
The result, I think it's what P.J. O'Rourke says, 'If you think health care costs now, just wait till it's free.' The system has to be mixed, private to drive R&D, to add the incentives to performance and quality, and 'universal,' so any constituent in the mix, (the individual, the insurance, the hospital, the government, etc) doesn't have to be economically / medically 'scientific' about who claims the debt of people who can't pay.

In my years at DPS, I estimate I paid in a rough estimate of 35,000 dollars for medical insurance, nad and I only went to the doctor for one minor thing over the time paying in.

It might be the best we can get for a good while?

Go Along With the Plan, Your Head will Still be There Where You Put It

Thanks for all the positive vibes in regards to my transition in life. The internet and music make transitions in life seem seemless. The Veils put it into perspective best.

'And the sound of that music travelled
to me from that orphan sky
and pulled it all in my vault'

What next? Liquidity for a while, then who knows? Currently special thanks to Mel and Bob for being a some of the most amazing friends a boy could ever have.

More writing to come after some rest.

So Here It Is, You're Heart out Here in the Cold

Second Looks, 6 outfits, 200 dollars = professional attire

There's No Sense In Waiting, A Swift Completion Never Comes

Last day at my job of the past 6 years, lots of stuff roaming around in the noggin', I've looked from quotes from Yoda to Ghandi to categorize it, and here's the best I could come up with to represent the last years. A difficult environment to say the least WOO-SA, WOO-SA, OK, I'm calm now.

"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it." - Gandhi

China Star was the place to be for the last supper, I mean dinner, the honky tonky'in-est Chinese Buffet in town, with a big convenient back room. A mix of old and new came out for the occassion, very touching, I've made some amazing friends over the years that I hope continue.

A few years worth of attrition. Lots of collaborative brainpower there in casual format! Thanks for coming, you folks are great :)

My coolest going away present, a street cone, I'm assured it was legally purchased, because I'm always parking in crazy places.

The smoke pit, a place I learned a lot, had some great dialogue, and would sweat in the intense 104 degree heat.

Later that evening, we went to Club Deville and stayed at Club Deville. Garth doing his famous sign, and that's the lovely Stephanie's hand on Garth's leg by the way.

Jennifer and Abbey with Mike D

Lee and Toby

A calm night in the perspective of things, not a goodbye but merely a 'see you later.'

Breakin' Rocks in the Hot Sun

Shady grove was the place, Duncan and his crew took me out, got me a wonderful hipster backpack as a going away present. Duncan, Barbara, Shelley, y'all are the best, I'll miss you guys, y'all really got it down at work! Keep the legal stuff rollin'.

With the Star Upon Her Shoulder Lighting Up the Path Where She Walks

Saying another farewell, this time to Robin, a person I've had the pleasure of working plenty 'mission impossibles' with. A wonderful, funny and smart lady who I enjoyed working with over the years, and afternoon walks and talking about life and all that stuff.

Pictured at our walking track, that wall behind us is one I've climbed over many times for comic relief for co-workers, Robin has never seen me attempt do it, but I promised her before I'd leave I'm slop myself over the wall. :)

Thanks for all the dialogue and perspective over the years, and by golly listen to those Ben Folds and Divine Comedy cd's one day!

And It Was Hard, Like Coming Off the Pill that You Take To Stay Happy

Staying with sis', I've technically been 'borrowing' my nephew Collin's room. He's been a great host, and I'm grateful and will miss my family.

There's always been something quirky in the room though, Mr. Teddy light switch. I have to 'turn him on' every morning. What do yall think, phallic, or am I just way off point?

For Me This Boardwalk Life's Through, You Ought to Quit this Scene Too

The Hollies, DAMN, Graham Nash, my hero!

Next week I roll up into San Antonio, stick in hand draped over my shoulder, with a blanket at the end wrapped around some Dockers and a polo shirt to start a new job. Lots of cycles running through my head, lots of emotions, lots of feeling.

Emotions: -- For us fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants single guys, who everyone think just has a happy-go-lucky lifestyle, knockin boots all the time (even though I don't know what boots are, and I don't know what knocking means), I'll tell you, it's hard to make life changing decisions without anyone to run it by on typical pillow talk nights.

New city: -- I'm leaving Austin, a big time entertainment city / quality of life city to a city more focused on jobs, slower pace, and, ummmm, heavy metal music? A city defines you, I'll be roaming around in the 'Championship City' being a Mavs fan, dare I say that to anyone.

New Job: -- Not a Problem

More to come during the week as I frame my last 5.5 years as an 'educational experience.'

they try to break us but we wont play along

Dave has got to be one of the coolest cats I've ever met. We used to 'jam' Chris Isaak, Wilco, and some various alt-rock gems on Sunday afternoons in a rented building with a healthy dose of Newcastle.

3 years ago I told Dave when I quit work, I'd buy his guitar, a nice Mexican Strat, for $125 smackers. For conventional types like myself, just take the 'made in Mexico' sticker off, and poof you got a genuine Strat, only Steve Vai would be able to tell the difference.

I'll miss you Dave, best wishes to you!

Caught Up in The Centurys Anxiety

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country. Well, at least Kimmie's folks do, and what a view!

The rivers are flooded, and Texas looks like Scotland. Notice the sun on one side, and the rain on the other, really beautiful :)

And I Need it More Than Love, And I Love It More Than Life, And I Want those Stars Above to Shine this Night

It behooves you NOT to drink 7 rum and cokes the night before a 5k race.

However, a shower and a nice chocolate milk in the morning hit the spot, and we were off to the races. Krysi, cowboy, Alex and Larry partook in the 5k, 5k, 5k, 10k respectively.

At the starting line, I run into ol Bob Koenning, runnin' the race, he's 50 now and he's been doing it for the last 30 years! You go! -- Some years back boy did Mike D and I have a great time with him at his brother / my good friend Brandon's wedding.

Well, how did I do? In our division, Alex came in first, I came in second. YEA, BOOOYAH, just check out that bling!

Later that day, the good ol' Shiner parade, Grant, Collin, Meagan, Carson, Krysi, Alissa, Kyle, Ayden and Gavin, gettin' ready to wave back to the parade wavers, and pillage the street for candy.

The Hobo Band, I must say, just awesome for Shiner, I think they're very unique, notice the plunger for the conductor.

Well It's Sticks and Stones and Broken Homes That Taught Us How to Smile

Rollin' into the hospital room today, what do we see.....Two posters

1. Poster 1 -- A poster that has 'Phils' on it, which is nice, it talks about all the stuff that is great in your body, the 'phil' is something that fights disease, etc, etc.
2. Poster 2 -- A poster that goes into painful detail about the lymph node systems of the body. You know, one of those crazy lookin' vein'y bodies, with all these hard to pronounce terms and detailed lookin' pictures.

When we're waiting on results from scans, next time I want to be in a room with just the 'phils' poster in there, and maybe they can put a sheet that says, room with crazy lookin' body poster on the wall available on request.

Mom's results were all negative on more cancer, the best possible results we could have got today.

White Noise Swells in My Head, Makin' Me Worry It's the Summertime

Today Ashley celebrated her 30th birthday by getting 30 friends to hula hoop in front of the capital. How nice, the power of influence!

It was funny, the average tourists out there had a much better time watching the hoopers than snapping pictures of the capital, for the hour or so, these activities were the hit of the capital. Even a few old ladies were joining in, one gradma was teaching her grand daughter how to do it, it was, for lack of a better word, cute. The Capital Police didn't know what to think, so I guess they thought, well, whateva.

There she is, in her bought from the store for 1 dollar butterfly top.

I've always loved this view, from the capital looking down congress. There sure were a bunch of people participating, man I wish I could rally a bunch of computer geeks for a common cause like this!

The culmination of activies, everyone singing happy birthday, it was great, and sweet. I'm really glad to see her happy :)

As for me, way too shy, perhaps I should have had some Jagermeister.

Well it All Comes Down to Kerosene and Sorry Signs on Cash Machines

Think about the calamity that would come with no electricity.....In modern society the 'hunter gatherers' hunting ground is your nearest grocery store or supermarket.

That been said, what have I been doing with my time in Shiner, trying to not become one of those people feverishly yanking the bottled water off the shelves at the store in the event of some crazy circumstances.

Learning to make stuff grow, my brother is a great teacher. It's amazing what a new big pot will do for a nearly dead rubber tree.

Lemon tree very pretty, this little buddy is doing great, will yield some nice lemons for some good ol' down home ice tea come this fall.

Damn, alas, the pomegranate tree, I don't think it likes the Texas heat or the intense rain we've been having, just doesn't seem to be bearing its nearly impossible to eat goodness.

George Harrison worked the land, loved working in his garden, Thom Yorke sings about gardens in nice dreams, seems like all sensible people do it, I look forward to getting better with it.

Maybe one day I'll have a nice assortment of peppers growing out in the back!

Take Down the Union Jack, It Clashes with the Sunset, And Put it In the Attic with the Emperor's Old Clothes

This weekend I finished The Progressive Patriot, A Search for Belonging by Billy Bragg, an excellent read, history through storytelling, and the man certainly has further etched his mark as one of my heroes. An English buddy of mine Neil introduced his work to me, at first glace he seems 'unpatriotic'.....I don't get that message, what I get is a detailed version of what it means to love where you're from, and to be proud of it, to be an individual, without all nationalistic rhetoric. I guess many people from different places will take different things from the narrative.

The sleeve of the book --
--------------------
Britannia, she's half English, She speaks Latin at home....St George was born in the Lebanon, How he got here I don't Know....And those three lions on your shirt, They never sprang from England's dirt....Them lions are half English, And I'm half English too.
--------------------

BB prides himself on being 'anglo-saxon'.....why? It was a time of simplicity, a time of meaning, a clear message of what it meant to be anglo-saxon. As things have evolved, everyone and their dog has used the Union Jack as a battle cry for their appropriate causes. The lush history of England lends itself to make the flag ambiguous, all because over time it has taken on so much meaning.

Symbolism and nationalism, where is it all going? What is the stance for people against globalization? Where is the identity? I often hear people brag about their countries, these are the people who get out and get around, however, the majority of a nations citizens never see past their own borders. What does their flag mean to them, and what 'percentage' of their proposed meaning is actually representative of the true history and heritage of the symbol? Once a country has some years behind it, and flexes on the foreign or domestic playing field, what it means to be a(n) *insert your nationality here* takes on different meanings. Throw a layer of partisan poison in the mix, individual identity and responsibility are lost.

To me, its a book that speaks of history, culture, heritage, individualism and great storytelling. Don't you wish everything kept up with Web 2.0, for instance politics 2.0, culture 2.0, etc, etc? Why isn't it cool in other facets? Well Billy Bragg makes it cool. :-)

The Laws of Gravity are Very Very Strict, and You're Just Bending them for your Own Benefit

Lots to be said about the 'C' word, and the other 'C' word that accompanies. I'm talking about cancer and chemotherapy. Living through it once with dad, now navigating the rough waters with mom. Lots to be said about having a strong bond with the family for support, Ben Lee says it best when he says 'we're all in this together.'

It's confusing, you know, general practitioner leads to cancer surgery doctor leads to cancer lymph node specialists, different times different venues. The doctors do their best to be objective as they bounce you around, but as this goes on, I'd say the typical non-MD type gets battered and bruised by all the speculation.

So we're at the 18 month long chemo process, all for 'safeguards' sake. First 4 treatments, the tough ones, three weeks apart, the most side effects. Second round, 12 treatments, one week apart, 3rd round, 52 treatments, one week apart, all different flavors dripping out of an IV bag at different times.

I'm simply baffled by this process, and a few things come to mind, health and security for my mom first, the amount of medical choice today in civilized society, and the 'system' and knowing how to navigate through it.

Trust, damn its really all about that, you HAVE to trust your doctor when he says studies show this is the best way to go for people who have this sorta scenario going on. I can painfully go back and research all these drugs with long names, but at the end of the day I couldn't have an intelligent conversation as to what the hell it all means in context. Hence, please doctor, take care of mom and keep us in the loop in the condensed version of your expertise, take all the variables into consideration, and certainly don't scare the shit out of us. Our doctor(s) all are great people, smart and personable, they can play 'god,' they truly have peoples lives in their hands, and that's why they deserve every penny they make. I once heard you pay peanuts you get monkeys, I'm sure this applies in the medical field too, and surprisingly enough, Yoakum (size 4,000) and Cuero (size 6,000), I haven't seen a single monkey in even these small places. I think that says a lot for our 'broken' healthcare system in this country, as I trust and respect the valour of these people in the hospitals, who are amazingly expedient and efficient.

If this isn't right, then we do this, if this goes this way we do this, and so on and so on. Wow, I bet 20 years ago there weren't half these options, especially with breast cancer, people just 'lived with it.' Now we're faced with a host of decision, and a complicated and elaborate 'if then, else' structure in the world of treatment. Isn't there a way staff can explain that if this be the case, can't you articulate this a bit better, something like, yea, lots can go on, this, that or the other, but this is all status quo.

Part of me thinks about what could potentially be broken about the system. I certainly hope its not a money grabbing scenario, exploiting people's lack of knowledge of the medical profession and fear. The cynic in me says, 'but how do you really know?' Between doctors, facilities, more doctors, home health, insurance, etc. The broken-ness of the system isn't the 'unclaimed debts and expenses' column in the accounting book and not quality treatment, but its taking it out on the responsible people who DO pay their bills and don't have universal coverage, and in lieu of that, what's enough, and what's extra? Damn, its a fine line.

Our camp is dug in and braced for the next 18 months, it's our families version of The Dip, and we will make it through with flying colors and some character to boot. So it goes the wise ol' Vonnegut says. My fingers and toes are crossed in confidence that the wisdom of the ages are applied accordingly.

I Belong in the Service of the Queen, I Belong Anywhere but in Between

Yea, I'm getting lame, quoting Counting Crows, thank god this girl is around to keep me cool, check out her summer mix, boy do I love it!

Two Standouts :
A$$HOLES - The Damnwells -- Lyric - 'Everyone grew up and turned into a$$holes'
Icecream Man - The Modern Lovers -- reminds me of Steve B. on Trees Lounge

Rain, been raining lots lately, reminds me of of a game I saw in Camden Yards years back when the field was still new, HUGE rain storm, they were playing 'rain' songs, AMAZING sound system in the stadium. Songs like Rain King, I'm Only Happy when it Rains (one of my girls), The Thunder Rolls, and others, but can't remember.

Huge sheets of rain, BUCKETS!

We Got Rules and Maps and Guns in Our Backs but We Just Can't Behave Ourselves, Even To Save Ourselves, We are a Brutal Kind

Civilization 4, I've been playing for about 24 hours straight now, the new version adds religious doctrines to the game, thus making global empire building or even global diplomacy for that matter a bit more challenging. Separation of church and state, more for church's sake, I must say. It's amazing one of the things your society has to figure out in the early stages, divine right, boy have we come a long way, or have we?

Tactical nukes, my brother in law and I used to joke, we weren't afraid of nuclear weapons until one was used on us in Civilization, well, there's Munich going up in smoke, I'm scared.

This 'game' is a MUST for kids learning the ropes, I'd say it could be used as the best interactive learning tool on the planet for learning empires, geopolitics, and lots of the agents that make this world complex.

Now, time for some sleep.

Not a Cloud in the Sky, Got the Sun in My Eye, And I Won't Be Surprised if It's a Dream

They are still making tab, perhaps its a 'comeback.' Reguardless this stuff doesn't taste very good.

Back to the future commentary circa 1955,

McFly: Can I get a tab?
Barkeep: You can't get a tab unless you order something.
McFly: Can I get a Pepsi free?
Barkeep: If you want a pepsi you're gonna have to pay for it.

All The Clever Monkeys Telling Us What to Do, Telling Us to Stay in Line and Join The Monkey Queue

Tonight I listened to a fascinating podcast, entitled, Green is the New Red, White and Blue, by none other than Thomas Friedman. PS, Stanford has TONS of amazing podcasts, want some QUALITY education for free, check it out.

To preface, no I don't think global warming is a hoax, and no I don't think Al Gore is the man (in fact.....well, nevermind). Friedman points out several interesting points.

He speaks of petro-politics, how oil factors in on a geopolitical playing field. What America is worried about.....jobs, temperature, and terrorism. Friedman argues with compelling evidence that countries that are highly dependent on oil for the GDP (Russia, India, Nigeria, and Iran) suffer majorly on the 'freedom index,' which has declined since the fall of the Berlin wall, thus paving the way for more free markets. He suggests that the price of oil and the pace of freedom in these countries operate in opposite directions. THEREFORE, its in our best interests to be a green nation to promote freedom and combat terrorism, as I simplify his sentiments for sake of attention span. For further information, look up the freedom graphs and market graphs in oil selling nations, they're out there.

The Looming Tower (now on my amazon wishlist), Lawrence Write, makes an interesting observation. 1979 was the year, radical muslims bomb holy stuff in Saudi, the prince says, and I paraphrase Lawrence thru Friedman thru myself, the only way to treat terrorists is to empower them. Saudi, with an influx of money from oil, builds the religious infrastructure, and funds approximately 90% of the muslim religion. Fifteen of the nineteen 9-11 hijackers from Saudi --

The most compelling argument I've ever heard to 'stop global warming' and get a lot of other stuff as a bi-product or as I loook at it, global warming is a bi-product of getting other stuff.

Nevertheless, If we don't set an example with a comprehensive environmental solution, as the developing world (India and China) continue to come online at a pace of 8% a year, when the Chinese trade their bikes in for SUV's, my inclinations tell me there will certainly be environmental problems.

Lots of incite in this podcast, 90 minutes long, worth the listen, judge for yourself.

Bleed the Pot, When You're Hot You're Hot, When Enough is Enough, Do the Fakers Drop Out

My first heart to heart bike ride in Round Rock says NOT A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN. 15 miles in about 45 minutes yielded inconsistent sidewalks on AW Grimes, Old Settlers, and Redbud Roads, now I know what David Byrne meant when he talks of bikers in New York being crazy. This is not to mention the SUV's whippin' by me, the potholes, and the SINISTER hill to end my route.

Rollin' along I stumbled on this eyesore. A livestock show barn turned Assembly of God. Amazing the aesthetics or lack thereof in many Churches these days.

This one, as shown below by photo from Manuelabor shows what you get when inspired by divinity (or caste system and feudal society)....but nevertheless, inspiring, I THINK this thing took something like 300 years to build, and it's certainly a church I would be proud to roll up into.

Wouldn't it be nice to have that divinity back? Was it ever there? When was the last time there was a building that took 300 years of inefficiency, attention to aesthetics, blood, sweat and tears to produce, and not by the lowest bidder? Perhaps the Freedom Tower in lower Manhattan?

Now With the Hours Passing, There's Nothing Left Here to Insure, I Long to Find a Messenger

Over the last week I blazed thru Chris Anderson's The Long Tail, the book that says the future of business is selling less of more.

Interesting book, the companies he pointed out poised for success, Amazon, Netflix, Rhapsody, and others. He also went into an in depth discussion about wiki, how great it is and how it has sealed its history as a truly deviant and innovative 'invention.'

Why? Because of The Long Tail. In short, at the top of the 'graphs' there are the best sellers, these are the artifacts that publishers, etc have had a monopoly on distribution, now with many of these barriers gone, 'the middle and bottom' of the graph are turning out to balance to top sellers, thus creating niche markets all over the place. better choices for the consumer, when the dust settles everyone wins.

Shocking stat, the Internet jukeboxes in bars, 10,000 albums to choose from, at least one song has been 'purchased' on 98% percent of the albums. Simply amazing, that stat alone made me think enough to make the book worthwhile.

These trends will only help creativity, will only increase choice, and consumers not only don't like publishers, marketers, etc force feeding stuff down their throat, its proven NOT to be nearly as successful in today's new world. Another crazy stat, best 1st week sales of an album goes to Nsync, and it will probably stay like that, the pinnacle of 'the system' of syndicated synthetic pop served to the digital mass market. New business suggests digital content markets what is important, the creator.

Nothing new here really, as he points out, Sears was the first, Wal-Mart perfected in a tangible world, but in the world of all things digital and the ability to slop a shopping cart on a web page, anything goes.

So here's my challenge to everyone, selling more of less, what's the product?

1. Sets of 25 limited edition baseballs signed by yours truly, mahon, and the other geeks I interact with on a daily basis? pffft!
2. Grab a few designers, make 25 prints of authentic shirts (even though been done several times)
3. Virtual limited edition gifts as on facebook for a buck each
4. Different color glow in the dark tinkerbells customized straight from the factory
5. A service that hits the long tail on a certain niche, perhaps community contribution, free services?
   

O wait, all that's been done, but it's probably in the initial stages. I'm staying in touch with the concepts, getting my hands around the ideas, one day maybe an idea will pop, otherwise. So let's get out our thinking hats and see what we can come up with.

Pure content contribution, just being a part of the long tail gets you exposure, gets your idea out, could perhaps make you popular, in any case, join the revolution.

Its Not Time to Make a Change, Just Relax, Take it Easy, You're Still Young, That's Your Fault, Theres So Much You Have to Know

First off I'm amazed at Robyn Hitchcock, and I'm ashamed I haven't discovered his brilliance sooner. Happy fathers day to everyone, I ate an amazing ATM branded dead animal cooked by my brother in law for the event.

I often think about my life without the influence of a living dad, I think about other people's coping mechanisms with death, but most importantly I think about what lives on forever in your hearts and minds as a bi-product of the people who have went away.

Top 1o Things about my dad I think about.

1. I got my dads 'chrome dome.' Both of us had hair that resembles scarecrow on the wizard of Oz hair, if we let it grow out, it would be Cookie from the Bozo Show.
2. The man sure could cook a piece of meat. A meat, potatoes, carrots and bada$$ gravy sorta dude, I looked forward to meals all the time.
3. He had the patience to tinker with all sorts of stuff, I guess that's where I got some of my tinker abilities.
4. He got along with everyone, friends, enemies, alike, pretty easy going, but surely could and did crack the whip every now and then.
5. I could look something up in our ghetto old school encyclopedias, like 'hoover damn', or 'graceland', and 'suggest' we go, and dad would load us up, many times as per my request.
6. He got sick, he was sick most of my 'adult' life, he coughed really bad, it made me sad, he fought like a champ till the bitter end. I spent a lot of days in my tender years hanging out with dad in the hospital.
7. He had a bizarre sense of humor that out-shined his sickness lots of times.
8. Despite being sick as a dog, he got out there and threw baseball with me once, it took most of his energy, but that's a visual I still keep in my head for inspiration and optimism.
9. He enjoyed watching my athletic events, baseball, football, and perhaps that's why on the day of his funeral I was at my regional tennis tourney.
10. He was a fighter, nothing ever got past him, and all things considered, he had a great attitude towards life.

I have no idea what that Pearl Jam song Betterman means, but once Eddie, at a gig in Atlanta said before the song, 'This song goes out to that ba$tard that married my mamma,' in other words, its Eddie's way of being very sentimental, and I share this same attitude to my dearly departed dad.

There's also a good woman behind my dad, a tip of the hat to mom, who stayed strong and understanding through it all, it's made her the pillar of our family thru understanding and hard work.

Boy has that ever taught me true empathy.

Sometimes I Wonder What I'm Gonna Do Cause' There Ain't No Cure for the Summertime Blues

Caldwell Texas is the scene for a front yard BBQ. I feel like such a TERRIBLE uncle, the first time I've EVER seen Kyrsi and Al's 'new' place. I'm young to be a GREAT UNCLE three times over. :)

Niece, and nephews, Krysi, Brad and Alex, a rare day they are all at home, we enjoyed some burgers and 'swimming' in Alissa, Carson and Ayden's pool. I think our big butts made it lose some air.

Wet Ground and the Stars are Still Out Shining, Neon Lights Were Never oh, So Blinding

Downtown Bryan, The Texas Reds Festival, wine tasting and steak, but alas, I drank the Bud Lights and the crazy blue aluminum bottles.

Where did these old buildings come from down there? I must say I like what they've done to the place, when visiting B/CS, this will now be my focal point.

Here's the gang, Manuelabor with his wife's 5 dollar tea, I tried to snag that out of his hands for pictures, but it slipped thru on this one.

A sinister grin on my face with Manuelabor, showing top teeth. :)

Gang signs, 'Martinez' and and notice Laci throwing up the 'LM'

No wine, no steak, Mi Cocina in College Station instead, can you say AMAZING TAMALES?

Pullin' Into Cleveland, 7 Seater Tour Van, There's 8 of Us I'm Sleeping on the Floor, The Guy that Plays the Banjo keeps Handing me the Old Crow

Landing for a night in ol' Bryan / College Station hanging out with Casey, a different Casey, not the beast.

Travis Park (Fran would be proud, just like he is of Travis County), Bryan Bombers kicked the other team's butt, at the end of the game a fireworks display, that rivaled most of the 'high dollar' displays I've ever seen. I kept thinking about the Chinese, and thinking about brilliant it would be to watch a display off the Great Wall one day. Also thought about privileged and all that stuff, we're really lucky to see great stuff like that on a 'local' level.

Next was a 'mini' pub crawl, can't remember the first place, but the second place, The Ptarmigan Club, Bryan, Texas, a nice dive with some dodgy carpet in the back, but an abundance of Red Stripe. On the night, some nice engaged conversation about globalization.

I guess college towns mean underage drinking, therefore 'I'm 21 and I'm proving it with this wristband' we had to wear, as if my cyclops belly and scarecrow bading pattern weren't enough. The Kettle's build your own omelet is great.

I Consider It a Challenge Before the Whole Human Race and I Ain't Gonna Lose

Three topics for the evening, meat and potatoes, immigration and the media.

The 'meat and potato' San Antonio Spurs destroyed the Cavs in the NBA final, with a controlled precision that a lot of people consider boring. I'm a bandwagon Mavericks fan, but still like the Spurs quite a bit, and I totally see the difference in a player like Dirk and Duncan. Duncan is a true champion, he doesn't panic, steps up and takes the lead and brings it home, not flashy but gets the job done.

Immigration, it makes me miserable to see the government bobble this situation around. I'm also sick of getting the immigration according the Charlie Daniels sent to my email, its a bit short cited, I'd say. The critic in me sees the 'point system' in which, if you have a high education, 'in demand skills,' or can speak English well, you get more points and your immigration status is based on this government decided point system, personally I think that's horse poop, UNLESS, we as a nation can instill the same point system to Americans, if you're not 'pulling your weight' as a citizen, we send you to hell, Guantanamo or something.

Since everyone else in every other country seems to be nationalistic and patriotic, I have my opinions on what makes 'my' country great. If you get a PHD, automatic citizenship, certainly it makes sense to have smart people dedicated to helping the GDP of your perspective country. Hell, it may even motivate lots of young people in this country who suffer from an I'm-complacent-and-lazy-and-don't-know-what-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up the necessity to get it together. Path to citizenship, why the hell not? Let's talk about integration, the Germans, Dutch and other non-English speaking people took several generations to integrate.

Keep in mind the human element of immigration (the same way we freak when a kid gets kidnapped or lost in the woods and it makes national news). Read extensively about coyotes, and perhaps empathize with their wants and needs, they are the same as yours. (PS - this is coming from someone who has repeatedly been told he needs sensitivity lessons)

Capitalism has 'back flow,' established institutions like cheap labor and the fact they can sell products to 'illegal immigrants'......why not, its their job, the pursuit of markets. Everyone wants and enjoys prosperity, If we get on the ball developing retail markets vs wholesale markets in countries where 'illegals' come from, the problem gets better. Building walls SOOOO doesn't work.

The MEDIA, isn't it alarming that Geffen and Murdoch are 'buying' media news outlets like the Los Angeles times and The Wall Street Journal, respectively. No more public service news, its entertainment, lets see how Paris is doing in jail while we have a conflict in Iraq, genocide in Darfur, the dollar trading like shit in a global market, something that just isn't so damn 'feel good' all the time, and something that isn't polarized and partisan. Where is the true objectivity going to come from when new outlets are run by corporations looking out for shareholder wealth and the bottom line.....

**I must say most of the opinions I've swiped from reading different odds and ends over the last few weeks, can't remember where I found it all or whose they are, but its reflective of what sets off the light bulb in my head.

Virtue Never Tested is no Virtue at All

My buddy G-Man has left the building, I miss him already. He was my 'green tea fix', and I enjoyed his company / conversation / and throwing footballs at him at an insane speed for our afternoon exercise.

'G-Mans to do list before he leaves,' I especially like the 'fix everything permanently and document completely' portion. :)

I Remember the Alamo, I Don't Recall Who Won, They Had Swords, They Had Horses, I Hear We Had Might Guns

Tonight is about decisions, questions, observations, contacts, and superstitions, I've been reading a random how to be a good person, how to be a good business books, and here's what's on my mind.

Decisions -- I heard an interesting tidbit that the people who actually work 'hard' could potentially be prolonging making tough decisions. I've seen this so many times in my life, with people who I used to have high regard for, now a messy table and an all night-er doesn't impress me that much unless there are quantifiable results. Ambiguity exists when the people doing the work aren't making the decisions.

Questions -- The power of inquisition, why don't more people use it, in all facets of life? Status quo is a killer, it prohibits your ability to deviate. It get to the point where you see the world as nothing but a bunch of cogs, i.e., I get calls for jobs that I have no business getting calls for, and the ones I know I'd be a good fit for, I don't get calls back. Why, its because I'm called by some HR person going thru status quo, and not deviating. MBA's, ahhh, can the teachers 'teach' you to be deviant, if so, why aren't they out there being deviant themselves instead of teaching a bunch of sheep to be cookie cutter 'business professionals.'

Observations -- Any jacka$$ can play the role of a business professional, and most are, and this commodity overshadows people who are truly good at these skills. The truly good ones will find a way to excel via 'on the job training'. Don't want to be a commodity, be remarkable at science or engineering.

Contacts -- Anyone notice how FAKE networking is, it doesn't do any good in a conventional sense. I don't think a lot of people who 'network' understand that there usually are interests on both sides of the coin, and true negotiation is aligning these interests to fill both sides. It surely isn't a me, me, me, or a feast of ego, what I often see when I go to some kind of SIG.

Henry Ford says forget about contacts in My Life and Work, just get what you need done, done, and be the best at it, and before its all said and done, you'll have plenty people to take on the supporting roles. If you are personally successful and you actually have money that comes in, people will believe in you and there will be plenty people to fill in the gaps. Decision by consensus usually spells disaster.

There are two types of people, those who have money and those who want money (if you believe that most things boil down to simple economics). The path to money, earn it, work smart, believe, hope, lace it with luck, monitor the industries, and capitalize on opportunity. Or, just be born into it, bullshit your way to it, or sell your soul to some sort of politics or other quest for power. The new age has rich people that actually give good advice, that's something new, therefore making the modern era harder the any time to 'make it big.' However, insiders are insiders, work hard until you attract the 'big money contact.' I'd say be extremely leery of anyone 'teaching you how to make money' and disregard this rant b/c I have no money! (haha), but someday I just might.

Superstitions -- I've had it with horoscopes, true love, and a lot of fiction. The truth is stranger than fiction, and you can truly learn and apply from these power players that have lived in the past, people larger than life, people who I wish could have lived forever, real people who have had the utmost positive effect on society.

In conclusion - You always have to look at a situation for what it is and not what it could be, and if you're bullshitting yourself, or tip-toeing around a big fish small pond scenerio, you're only hurting yourself, and chances of you becoming extraordinary are slim and none.

What Say You Now, The Door is Opening, On Your Vigil and I'm in my Usual Way, I Save my Breath, Knowing What You're Wanting me to Say

Today marks a special day, my wonderful cousin John Fortune marries a wonderful girl from Amarillo by morning. I'm very happy for him, with him, as I think he's a solid human being. Out of all the years and all the weddings, I FINALLY got a flask as a wedding gift, I can't begin to tell y'all how excited about that, I'll use it countless times in many sneaky nights out on the town!

Here's me and mr armadillo puppet I found in the church, pictures just don't turn out for me. I just LOVE the tie :)

Marty and I, Marty helping with the cooking, and I look like wait staff in my suit, anyone see the silver drink tray??

Warring factions of the family, can't we just get along, ain't life too short for that? All together a fine time, despite the Lavaca county witch hunt for drinkers and drivers.

In the Beginning when we were Winning, When Our Smiles were Genuine

The Manic Street Preachers, an edgy band described as 'adult anthem rock,' have a new album out. One song even features the new love of my life, the lead singer of the Cardigans. I've enjoyed these tunes / lyrics tremendously over the years, even this deviant gave them serious kudos before he was Mr I'm Indie Rock God but I really don't want to be indie rock God.

Follow the bands trail, you'll find two very dark albums, This is my Truth, Tell me yours, and The Holy Bible. Also, you'll find what I deem to be a serious 'chip on their shoulder' concerning America with the tune 'If White America had to tell the truth for one Day, it's whole world would fall apart', but I guess who doesn't these days.

However, they did cover the M*A*S*H theme 'Suicide is Painless,' ....ahhh, M*A*S*H, they don't make em' like that anymore. Interestingly too, founding member Richey Edwards disappeared in 1995 and was never found. Perhaps he's living with Elvis, Cobain, and Tupac under someone's stairs.

A youtube of my favorite Manics song, oooo so sad, but oooo so strong and powerful. I especially like that sweet a$$ white Gibson rippin' out that simple clean channel solo towards the end of the tune.

Your Girl was Trickin' While you was Draped in your County Blues

This video just made my MONTH, easily my favorite youtube video I've ever seen in my many hours of surfing!

Ben takes a gansta rap song, converts into a sincere white boy tune, now redone by an A Cappella group at UC Berkeley, talk about the power of one man's binding and integration-al influence.

They Took Your Mould and They Burned it on the Fire of History Today

Let's take bands and business and put them together, the players, the roles.

Both are similar beasts, my buddy Mohon and I sat down one time and listened to this song and put personalities to the instruments. 'Your Cover's Blown' -- Belle and Sebastian

Singer -- Yea, he's the guy that writes the hits, 'leads' the band, can play acoustic on his own, he's got an ego, he's got a vision, probably a bit of a control freak, and the voice, melody and charisma drive the band.

Lead Guitar -- Lead guitar, he's the guy that's the 'true value adder,' sometimes overlooked, but seldom under appreciated. He's where the rubber hits the road. This person is who the singer goes up to and says, 'Hey I have song about my ex-b*tch, can you put some music to it?'

Singer / Guitarist, Paige/Plant, Bono/Edge, Axl/Slash, the list goes on and on.

Drummer -- He's the guy that keeps the band / business together, keeps them focused, in control, and always lands the portrait in the bathroom. He seldom gets accolades for anything in a conventional rock band, however it is an important role, an agent to control 'personalities.'

Rhythm Guitar -- This would be your 'Jr Programmer' -- the lead guitar just says, play the f*ckin' G chord while I thrash this solo. It adds dept to your band / business and allows the lead guitar to deviate.

Keys -- Can work in multiple ways, In your covers blown, its 'bling', comes in every now and then, sounds good, nice fills, or otherwise its a blanket sound that's there to compliment the endeavour.

You have multiple people writing the hits, you could end up with a magical scenario like the Beatles, or even Belle and Sebastian with Stuart, Stevie, Isobel and Sarah writing the hits, but more than likely, your endeavour will probably end up like Hoobastank without the success.

Both are balancing act, you want to sell out your local bar or do you want to sell out Wembley Stadium. When you play for the crickets, are you going to say, man this sucks we had to carry our amps around for this, or are you going to say, we refined our trade tonight. Business-wise, take 5 average techies @70k a pop, your initial ante for a year gig has to pay 1/2 a million dollars to be even worth it. Are you going to labor in the garage for learning sake and refine the trade and be happy about it or are you going to bitch about nothing in the bank account? Another part of the balance is to realize you're working as a dedicated group of peers, each with a distinct role, each with different accolades.

You know you've made it, when you have sistas singin' some backup soul with you on stage, you have your enemies as your roadies wearing pink leotards on stage, and the groupies, in addition to what they do best, well, you've touched them with your mind, and that builds the next successful band / business.

I want my name burned on the fire of history, maybe it will, maybe it won't, but I don't think there's gonna be a lot of rest until something pops.

Took Her Off the Vegetation, Took Her by the Arm, Selling E-Coli Burgers, Couldn't Do No Harm

Since last post, Robert catches bug equals 27 #2's, 5-7 imodiums, countless pepto tablets, a handful of vomits, cold sweat, and a sheer desire to plunge from a very high place into oblivion.

I never catch these things, but on the trip, 4 of the 8 participants visited the porcelain thrown at least once, hence cutting the vacation a bit short, not reaching Niagara Falls.

At least it didn't turn into the pukefest as shown below on Stand by Me, and thank god I didn't get the leech on the balls either.

And Slow but Sure the Sands are Falling as the Bridge Burns Beneath the Wheel

Cubbies and Comedies, moo-moo-moo movies, Chicago in the summertime.

Just as David Gray sings about the mystery of love, words prove useless in the face of how it feels. Today I strike one of the 'list of things to do in life,' which was to see a baseball game at Wrigley Field, one of America's oldest baseball fields.

Situated pretty much in the middle of a neighborhood, this experience has done well to rekindle my thoughts on pro sports, especially baseball in general. It's no frills, no instant replays, no distracting bullshit, just good old fashion baseball while enjoying an Old Style beer or two. I also went to the 'world famous' Cubby Bear, and if you look out in right field, I was at that pub talking politics with the local color. One dude told me its so windy in Chicago, that one of these big clunky ass newspaper racks (where I used to do some work) actually flew into a car.

Much to the late Harry Caray's dismay, Cubs lose, Cubs lose, which seems to be a normal tune. I can't believe I had this seat, I can't believe this picture turned out so well.

Gaw! This was so awesome, as I sound like a teenage girl. The last 6 or so baseball games I've been to or played at, I've feel asleep, didn't this time. There were all sorts of rich people around, talking about stocks and stuff.

Other noteworthy things, I climb up to the top of the Sears tower. I love going to high places and looking down. To me, skyscrapers represent the human and what it is able to accomplish, it gives me a breath of fresh air, even in this smog. Just ask Howard Roark about what it tells, he'll tell you all about it in this novel.

Smoggy, yea, one of the least anti'climatic tall places I've ever looked down from, no 'outdoor lookout station' but what the hell. Built for 250 million by Sears, sold for 1 billion when when sears lost bizness. Some dude said there's no mountains in the midwest, so they had to build one.

What can you say about Grant Park, its beautiful, and its also 'home' to Lollapalooza, If I strike the lotto anytime soon, I'll be back!

Kinda a weird picture here, there's Gavin playing in that puddle, haze, buildings, hardly anyone around.

Don't think your city has aesthetic value, put some of those old letters on the top of your building, build your city on a lake, get some huge parks, a man made beach, a pier, the mafia, and underground roads, you'll be fixed up.

Chicago, man I love it, or at least the little time I've spent there, history seems to just oooze out of everything. If I lived in Chicago, I wonder how long it would take being outside in the dead of winter to turn my head into a baldcicle.

This bottle of stevens awakens ancient feelings, Like Father, Stepfather...

Rollin' on 3 hours of sleep and a quad latte, Mummy, Jr and I brave downtown Minneapolis. The city has a sincere simplicity, modest and historic, I think I like it!

Here's a picture of the tall buildings. We were witness to so of the locals getting into a squabble, one chick throwing a big ol' rock at I guess was her boyfriend, it was funny I tried not to laugh so I wouldn't get beat up.

We went on a church hunt because mummy's brother my uncle said we HAVE to see this church. Here it is, kinda, hard to take pictures of big things you know? You get a flag, or a lamp post, or car, or some other nonsense in the way.

Then there's an old Cadillac (Catholic) church we stumbled on, it looked really cool, just over the hill from a Japanese sushi place.

Heading to Chicago and seeing Kenosha, Wisconsin on the map, I had to pop in the blue Weezer disk, 'Kenosha's own WEEZER,' you know, where the boys are playing in the Happy Days Diner in the music video that came with Windows 95! :)

Well, I'm here in Chicago, beat, but still want to go out and check out some seedy Chicago nightlife, but I'm afraid our van would get stolen, it does have spinnas you know ;) ...