I smell the engine grease and mint the wind is blending Under the moan of rotting elm in the silo floor

Jupiter Hotel Portland was the site of the James Mercer, Steve Malkmus set, I must say it was extraordinary, a benefit for an Elementary School. Brilliant, even though the crowd talked through both sets.

The lights at the Jupiter are black lights, the decor is IKEAish which is the fashionable thing to do, and hipsters galore. What do I do? Go to Wal Mart and get me a nice faded glory polo so I can look presentable at the gig.

James Mercer at his finest.

Malkmus seemed to be a bit boozed up, after the set, I was thinking, man I hope James wasn't drinking with Stephen before the show!

Rolando and Me enroute to Bside bar, a local dive.

Mike D and I, you know, one of those moments where we couldn't find anyone to take a picture of all 3 of us.

The 'Doug Fir', the joining restro to the Jupiter, amazing amazing amazing, can't say anything but good about the place, from service to drinks to prices to environment.

Enroute to the early gig, I can't even begin to tell you how amazing the zoom in this camera is.

Lots of planes trains and automobiles in the city, but they aren't intrusive at all.

I like the billboards around town, all promoting health and the environment rather than burgers

Broadway Bar, one of the microbrews we hit, I had an Amber that was great, but waking up at 4 that morning made me proceed to take a nap in the tavern while Rolando and Mike D shot pool.

This place was great too, I had a chicken something or another, but the bread here was amazing.

The gig mentioned above was also a fundraiser for an elementary school. I didn't know this at first, and as they 'registered' me, I said 'I ain't gonna buy anything', and I felt bad when the lady gave me a sad look, when I knew why I understood.

A long walk back to the hotel after a day of walking around touring the city, hopping into a bar every now and then, and just taking in the general atmosphere. We stayed right between those two symmetrical things in the distance, a not-too-nice hotel

Mt Hood is near Ptown, we flew right over it enroute to the city, it looks BIG from the airplane. Really cool looking!

Lots of murals all around town, tributes to animals everwhere.

I hung out for an hour or so in the park by the river and took in the scenery. The town seems to be broken into two sides, both sides sharing each of the cool landmarks, maybe a bit heavy on the downtown side.

powells bookstore, this thing is amazing, cant describe it, just got to see it.

energy drink supposedly organic, haven't tasted anything like this on the planet

roland mike d city center

tree near the japanese garden that was shedding its leaves all over the walkway

mike d wearing his newly purchased ptown shirt!

a blinged out pub, can you guess which 'nationality' they are trying to 'appeal' to?

market in downtown, kinda cool, but once you've been to camden in london you're spoiled for life

Finally 'Saltys', the 'best' seafood in Portland. On a scale of 1-10, I give it a negative 25. I'm up for paying a bit for food on occasion if its good, or if there are big portions, or there is good service or atmosphere. this had none of the above and it was expensive as HELL! How's about 25 bucks for 'fish and chips' that you get at your local pub for 6? How bout a seafood sampler starter with 3 pieces of shrimp, two small crab cakes, and some little fried niblets that they try to pass for squid.

\\ Geeze I could go on forever, but Rolando and Mike D say it best with the establishment in the background

Wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere, underneath my being is a road that disappeared

Eddie Vedder is good for modern day poetry. I 'heard' or 'read' somewhere he wrote 'Alive' after staying up for 3 days straight. I'm fascinated by people who do what isn't popular or right, but turn out to be legends when it's all said and done.

Driving home this song got me to raise and eyebrow and rush home to find out who and what it was.

How do these modern day poets come up with this stuff? I wonder if I could do something remotely close to this one day, when I'm not tired from being stuck in the land of geekdom. I notice how Eddie threw in the 'so it goes...' Kurt Vonnegut style

---------------

On bended knee is no way to be free
lifting up an empty cup I ask silently
that all my destinations will accept the one that's me
so I can breath

Circles they grow and they swallow people whole
half their lives they say goodnight to wive's they'll never know
got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul
so it goes...

Don't come closer or I'll have to go
Holding me like gravity are places that pull
If ever there was someone to keep me at home
It would be you...

Everyone I come across in cages they bought
they think of me and my wandering
but I'm never what they thought
got my indignation but I'm pure in all my thoughts
I'm alive...

Wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere
underneath my being is a road that disappeared
late at night I hear the trees
they're singing with the dead
overhead...

Leave it to me as I find a way to be
consider me a satelite for ever orbiting
I knew all the rules but the rules did not know me
guaranteed...

Tied to a Brick, Sweet as a Song, The years have been short but the days go slowly by

Lots of decisions always in life, wish I had a quotation that could mesh it all together. Random comments.

There are personalities all around you, some you want to be influenced by, and some you want to shield yourself from. It's a fascinating time going out and seeing new people, talking to strangers, see what you want to stick, seeing what you want to shield yourself from.

Jesse the Body has interesting sentiments on what to do as a libertarian, interesting, but probably devastating results. He says put 'none of the above' on the ballot, see if that would win. Our political system transcends into chaos while it's trying to fix itself. I guess it's coming, hopefully a few generations down the road, it happens to the best of em'. Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, etc, etc.

Mike D and I are going to Ptown Friday to see two modern day profits, James Mercer of The Shins and Stephen Malkmus of the used-to-be-band Pavement armed with nothing but acoustic guitars. Raw, ageless, intense, introspective, humorous and delightful music. I often jam these guys in the car and wish, damn, I want to be cool like them.

In the midst of it all in many ways I'm lost, somewhere in a cave with a flashlight, a life filled with sensory overload, a life struggling to keep balance, a life of suggestions and comments. I try to do it to the best of my ability with tact and eloquence (my own sort of sloppy eloquence,) something that I feel isn't a commodity. In life I guess I stroll through periods where I feel I'm damaged goods, and the spiral circles down for a brief period, I stop digging, I crawl out to a certain level, poke my head up, see if anyone is looking or listening, and then revert back to chillin' in my functionally dis-functional comfort zone.

One of my coworkers (nudge me if you read this) says this is the 'all about me' blog. I'd have to agree. It's interesting to see the 'stages' one goes through in life when things are unsettled. At one point it was bloggin' about music, slap some pics of friends out there partying, blog more about music, throw a tidbit about religion in there, throw something about politics, more music, lately its been me, me, me.

Also, a dinner update, tonight I went for a pleasant jog and ate some Frito's. The menu tomorrow will improve no matter what it is, balance will come, sooner or later.

I finally check out Schultze Gets the Blues, a great movie that poses the sentiment.... It's never too late to re-tune your soul

I was flat on my back with my feet in the thorns, I was in between the apples and the chloroform

Mike P and Mike D, The Dog and Duck Pub, a place I love, place I've tried to solve the worlds problems via pub talk many stumbly nights. I told them to look mad.

I liked the slogan on the table, basically saying carpe diem.

A rare Robert visit to the mall to get measured for a Tuxedo for Mike P's wedding. I'm excited to finally get to go to Denver, Fourth of July.

Then there's Austin East side, a place where the purist go to escape tourists. It's truly exciting down this way.

Jenny and Mark, dark picture, Primos, right next to Rabbit Lounge.

Finally Ashley and Mike D, Ashley ridin' her bike all over the place.

An Honor to Be There

42 Years to Write, 4 Minutes to sing

I'm Just Tryin' To Find A Decent Melody, A Song that I can sing in my own company

Problems of the heart call for a U2 record. How is it that Bono just knows what to say to me. I love him and I hate him all at once. People who know what to do and say at the right time truly have a gift.

Tonight I unloaded my camera from my trip that seems to be already ages ago.

This is the top bubble of the Reistag, want to read some great reading, google search the Reistag fire, and take a gander at all the crazy political turbulence that lead up to that moment. The little blue thing is where the German parliament conducts business, and every angle of the building is designed for transparency.

Space age indeed.

A black and white pyre full of mirrors that words cannot do justice.

A menacing site under the moonlight, actually that 'scary' German logo, they call the 'plump chicken' or something like that. It looks mean, but the symbolism is different.

The Europa center in what used to be the main area in West Berlin. Lots going on in the area, lots of integration activity. The 'Zoo' Station is no longer the hub, there is now a 'main' station different from Zoo and Alexanderplatz. These are just observations, I wasn't there long enough to really scope it out.

The TV tower in Alexanderplatz, the feeling here is amazing, one of my favorite places in the world.

Can't leave out a picture of the Brandenburg gate, impressive, and the symbolism, amazing.

Breaking porcelain, a tradition, most brought dishes, these gals smashed a toilet, what a site!

The BBQ pit before the steaks and braut were thrown on. I enjoyed talking to the man who made the BBQ, he had a fascinating story or two to tell.

Yum Yum Yum!

Franzi and Marco cleaning the aftermath.

Cutting through the heart to enter.

The Culture Hall where the wedding reception was in Wusterwitz.

The grub, I heard many cool stories about the food and what a 'champion' the chef was who catered. Put it short, best grub I've ate in at least 10 years, possibly in my life.

More pictures, commentary and video to come.

Getting Drunk on Saturday, Playin Football with the Kids on Sunday, Soarin' with the Eagles all Week Long, and It's All We've Learned about Living

Lots of pictures to come, Patrick, me, Stephan, and Gregor. These folks are awesome, I wish I had more dialog with them, I wish I could see them more often, learn from them, drink beer and eat BBQ with them.

oh it seemed like a holy place, protected by amazing grace, and we would sing right out loud the things we could not say

"There is a good life right across this green field and each generation stares at it from afar." That's what John Mellencamp says on his album cover.

Mom and Dad met a long time ago, they lived right across the street from each other. Age didn't matter, dreams and ambitions for the most part were the same on both sides. There weren't options like 'hopping on a plane to Germany,' or for that matter, moving to the 'big city' presented logistical challenges to your family.

Today a large portion of these challenges are gone, and one would think that sky is the limit in the flat world, however as Goethe in a roundabout ways says, people themselves hold themselves back, for good and for bad reasons.

Most people I meet want the 'honey I'm home' scenario, and most people want to live a fascinating and fruitful life, you can find the people who want to work hard, albeit they are harder and harder to find in the land of abundance, but the line of what is means to be 'compatible' is so fine, it's almost razor thin.

I've heard the blanket comments, you should be with the person who is your best friend at the end of the day, someone who shares your values, someone who is different from you, someone who completes you, this, that and the other, but all these sentiments seem to contradict each other and finding your mate in the modern day psychological world becomes a crapshoot, along with a challenging road of all those buzzwords like trust, honesty and respect. That's New Braunfels Texas, I can't even imagine what this is in NYC or other places where morality is questionable no matter how you spin it, and the psychology is complicated.

At the end of the day, I think it all comes down to being with someone who understands you, understands your vision, and what you want to accomplish in life. Just as there is a fine line in compatibility, there's a finer line when it comes to truly understanding someone and where they're coming from.

What's the balance in shooting for the moon and taking comfort in the green pasture? Didn't Hawking take on this question and come up with a blank? Is it better to fortify your territory or expand your boundaries?

Deep In the Belly of a Whale I Found Her, Down With the Deep Blue Jail Around Her, Running Her Hair through the Ribs of the Dark

Random sentiments -- Trip commentary, pictures and all that will come sooner than later.

What can I say other than that To The Dogs Or Whoever, off The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter album is stellar. I'd say its my 'song of the month,' the one I hum while sitting in the airport while allowing my brain empty cycles.

There are good songs, and there are good artists, a simple sentiment but when applied to life it's interesting. There are people who have 'spurts of brilliance' (songs) in the workforce, and there are 'artists' which are the MVP's of the organization who see virtue and work and are treated accordingly. Consequently, the the analogy can go deep into all facets of life.

I was reading about a certain office personality type that will 'filibuster' work, simply because they are afraid of it, lazy, knowledge isn't there, hearts not in it, all kinds of excuses. Makes me think about the first 6 years of my working life, years I'd love to have back, years that I could have 'done more with.' I was the king of the filibuster, for several of the reasons mentioned above.

Henry Ford said true virtue comes from hard work. Ayn Rand says no compromise in principal. I try live my life as a hybrid of both these days, although the latter is difficult when your purpose as a professional is information dissemination and things like this.

It gets me thinking, what is the SOLE thing I would look for as a redeeming virtue, one word that says it all, weather it be work life, private life, this, that or the other, and as I've been taking long walks the last couple of days, its uncanny that these answers to really hard life questions boil down to one word, that word...>RESPONSIBILITY

Lets take some scenarios.

1 -- The TV says the economy is doing bad, is it or is it not? Truthfully, what are the indicators in the world of spin, and as long as I have a patio and a beer to sip on, do I have to WASTE cycles thinking about 'am I going to have a job or not', or this and that, or do I just take it upon myself to diversify my stock as a human being, and that will take care of yours truly. If everyone had that attitude and personal responsibility, all the 'worker bees' would have the power.

2 -- Who says what about who in politics, and why is it so important. The systems is broke, it always has been, always will be, polarization will happen based on political parties, therefore making responsible individuals irresponsible due to their divisive colors.

3 -- My life is this, my life is that, it could be this, what if this, blah de de blah blah blah. Tom Petty's Two Gunslingers says it best, I'm taking control of my life now, right now. At the establishment I work at, there are 'core ideologies' one is 'always do the right thing.' I'm all for that, a pretty naive sentiment due to life's gray areas, but a better way to have said the same thing is to take responsibility to your thoughts, words, and actions.

A few ways I do this nowadays, 'The Power of Now,' a great self helper I suggest everyone picking up says, 'You are more than you're brain' is a great quote that has helped me overcome plenty of personal inertia.

Another note, I safely archived my one and only credit card saving for a day I will never have to use it, unless it's shirt.woot.com or something irresistible from buy.com. Nevertheless, carry a zero balance is on my things to do before I die, and I'm happy to say I'll be there sooner than later. After that, its American Express Blue for me, after a lot of research, all the 'frequent flyer' rewards bs is nothing compared to good old hard cash back. Put 12000 bucks on this card a year you get about 400 bucks back, that's the best I've seen, if someone can show me otherwise, I'm all ears.

----------------------

Deutschland, March 18-24

After, pictures and video from SXSW and my trip to Berlin, Wusterwitz and Lehnin.

From the Big Church to the Big River and Out to the Shining Sea, This is the Land of Opportunity and There's a Monkey Trial On TV

The Puritan John Cotton warned that "the more learned and witty you bee, the more fit for Satan you bee, as I grabbed it from this article about 'Revenge of the Experts.' For every creative 'thing' on the web, there's about 1,000 'not so good' things, hence another level of expertise or organization. I couldn't agree more with this piece.

1. Bill Gates goes to congress and says we need more foreign workers in this country, I couldn't agree more. As said many times, intellectual property it vital to the success of a nation. 65,000 visas a year can be considered the equivalent of pissing on the sun. If we want to 'protect our empire,' it's imperative we 'in-source' all the smart people we can. I have no problem with outsourcing, it helps the world help themselves which in turn helps 'us.' When outsourcing quality is 'good,' lots are finding out its not cheap anymore. From USA, to India, to Russia to China, the buck has to stop and globalization will diffuse many problems, we just have to start treating everyone as true equals.
2. Political posturing makes me abso-%#$@^!-lutely sick. I recall a graph in 'marketing class' in college, something like if a car is too much like another car, they move the product line to attract more customers. This science is effective but tired. The fact that Obama can run on 'hope' and inspire many people is often overlooked by trolls, doom and gloom people, and it is effective for Clinton to have the 'anti-hope' campaign and attract a lot of people, for a large part, people who don't pay much attention. Obama organizes the masses, Clinton organizes the bureaucrats.

Tomorrow I hope to see one of my heroes, Billy Bragg at the SXSW festival, here's a few cool covers.

A Million Young Poets Screaming out their Words, To A World Full of People Livin' to Be Heard

I recall Chris Rock saying something about listening to John Mellencamp, it was pretty derogatory, but nevertheless, taking my geekly stroll to Best Buy and seeing his 'The Best I Could Do' cd, I had to get it. If not for Check it Out, or Little Pink Houses, or his amazing MTV Unplugged show, its for the memories I have jammin' the cd when I was a young lad with my brother Gman.

Everyone knows the song played all throughout football season, annoying as all hell, but I'll say it now and be cheesy, THE SONG HOLDS UP, especially in this Comedy Central appearance. Despite all the stupid monkey business that goes on in this country in the media, politics, big business, etc, etc -- the foundations are strong, and the he reflects it.

See 'the cougar' (as used to be his middle name) I can relate back to the game Civilization. Cities and civilizations produce 'great people' who produce 'great works', which in turn expand your borders and your cultural influence.

Call up the craftsman, bring me the draughtsman, build me a path from cradle to grave

It's been a charming / busy time, Jolen in to visit, great stuff, working while she's in town, just gotta do it. Here's a bunch of pictures from the last week. Why no blogging lately? Short version....new job has been busy.

First, starting with a walk in Landa Park, going down some stairs, I bust not only my butt, butt knee, hand and elbow. To couple the 'much too young to feel this damn old' feeling, I got an 'old person diaper' sample in the mail yesterday. I was excited, thinking it was some cool swag, but alas, only a diaper. :(

A trip to the San Antonio Zoo was entertaining, my first trip to a zoo ever. There was a room filled with butterflies.

The flamingos were my favorite, all standing on one foot.

All of them have tagged legs, and it looks like a big party in the ranks.

Entertaining the family on Sunday was fun, here are two people that really know their way around the kitchen, I didn't catch the conversation, maybe exchanging trade secrets. The word was out that when I was a kid I used to eat mustard bread, and mustard flavored sardines.

There's Doug, on the prowl for a new computer.

Mummy and Kman on the nice wicker rocker.

Jamie and Gman riding the Landa Park train. I had a great conversation with David, the owner. He knows a lot about Deutschland, etc, etc and promises great conversation at the Elks Lodge when I show up.

A close up eyeball shot. Check out how awesome my eyebrows are, just pure beauty. I bet a plucker would keel over and die if they had to contend with this.

A host of duckies floatin' the Comal River, that's feather pluckin' insane!

No matter how much the white duck would stick his head in the water, the dull murky water, he would stay clean.

The patio as seen from across the street. From there it reminds me of some scenes in Spain. Jolen made several comments about how she liked the skylights, and after finally noticing them and their effect, I'd have to agree.

This was a mean fella at the Wildlife Ranch at natural bridge. Actually this one was tame, but there was some crazy animals out there, that would just walk up to the car and have a look inside.

Some nice creatures, they are llamas?

Speaking of...this Zebra came in disregarded the little snack in hand, and proceeded to grab the bag of goodies right from Jolen's leg, what a site, and I think I actually got a little zebra slobber in the car. I was rollin on after the zebra got our bag.

This guy was much better. He was nice. My only attempt at feeding came from an animal that came up to the car, but once I realized he had a long blue tongue, I freaked out and dropped the feed on the ground.

Two trips to Ikea lands 4 tables put together for a coffee table(s) @12 bucks each, couch @450 and sleeper thing @400. Thanks to Milton's TV for the complimentary TV! It's hard to believe I actually have furniture, and its hard to believe that its my first bought couch. Only took 31 years to get, I'm mooovin' on up!

200 bucks for this what I think to be very nice table that has some slide out parts. At 59 each, the chairs were the biggest expenditure.

Here's the shoes I'll be representin' USA with in Germany. Notice the gold, red and black, I think they'll work out just fine there. I was thinking about getting a wedding outfit there, but saw how the dollar is doing, and looks like I may even forgo the pub experience and opt for a sixer from the cheap store and drink it on a park bench.

Finally, my goal is to befriend this guy. He's the keeper of that trash can. I watch him every now and then run after and his at people passing by, he's got a sinister looking disposition, and he even made my nephew Kman cry. I hope to make friend with him by showering him with gifts of bread, wheat, and possibly a french fry or two :)

All in all, so much activity the last since I've posted, I hope to catch a breath come April.