Four times is once too much for love That's how many times the clock struck, I wandered home, saying your name

Often I think about what would some of my musical heroes (Billy Bragg, Neil Hannon of the Divine Comedy, Sondre Lerche, Ben Folds, the gang from Belle and Sebastian, and of course Neil Finn of Crowded House) do out here staring at this ambiguity everyday.

I'm certain their imagination would keep them company, and this point would be a stark point of contrast for life moving forward.

Often I'm thrust back to vivid imagery in the past. I recall 10 pm sunlight at Park Bar Edinburgh Scotland, walking home at 4 am speaking to a roughneck working in the rugged land up north.  I recall a gal telling my friends they danced like wildebeests, and the perfect 4 leaf clover made on the top of my Guinness by the barkeep.

Flash forwarding I'd love to experience rain falling on a lonely tenement, as in Belle and Sebastian's Get me Away from Here I'm dying.  I will add that to my color pallet in Eastern Euro one day while focusing my studies on building micro economies in a globalized world.  It's hard looking forward, getting caught up in daydreams; while the mind is grown, my immediate environment is a perpetual skipping record.

So we can walk around and we can laugh all night, it's hard to fit a lot of years in a Friday night, cause there always seems to be something left to say

15 year class reunion next year.  When I was a younger lad I couldn't wrap my head around this sentiment.  I once read that at your 10 year anniversary, you show up in a BMW and say, hey, look how cool and successful I am, at 20 years, you show up in a minivan and check the ego at the door and actually have more fun.

I look back at the strange trip its been since graduating 27th out of 44 class of 1995 Shiner Texas.  I got accepted to the fine Texas State University on academic probation and proceeded to make the deans list first semester b/c I finally read the f*cking manual.  After that, my attitude was 'I don't need to stinking study too hard.'

Today I know there are many things that require you to put on your thinking cap.  I have always been quick to cast stones on different ideas and agendas where a supporting nudge in the direction of choice would have been much better.

I spend my days learning about growth, the game we thrust on ourselves; its seemingly the only barometer for defining success.  I like money -- One track mindedness brings us to this day.

I will spend my time and energy interjecting sustainability and aesthetic into our one sided definition of virtue, as a product of this, I'll win big time at the game we play.

Fast forward to 15, 20, 25 year reunions, I will have stories to tell and I hope to be able to share them with someone.  Conversation with someone who gets you is the biggest factor in human happiness.

Toasting to world peace, Baghdad Iraq --

Tenants of the house, Thoughts of a dry brain in a dry season

Switching between Bon Jovi's New Jersey album and dailylit.com's TS Eliot poetry samples leaves me with a nice balance for the day.

That's what you got here in Baghdad, scenarios and environmentals that will condition you for a bright future.  I've come to really like it out here, although I don't want to stay a day longer than needs be.

The body out here develops attributes like that of a date tree; needs little water and provides a nice fruit.  My will power will be fully tested when back home drinking from the fountain of plenty.

It's amazing whats at the post exchange, everyday commodities like toiletries and basic foods on one side, and electronics of all sorts on the other.  Has society become that ingrained with technology as to need it alongside bread and water?

This experience has made me cherish moments back home.  I miss waking up hangover-less with a cup of green tea, shower, and access to 'mp3 blog Saturdays,' days in which i troll the blogs for new music and listen whilst preparing for day, weekend, week, month, and long term goals and visions.

Here you have your work life and sleep, and time for gym and chow here and there in between.  The downtime comes in very short segments, and your tolerance for even the most moderate personalities is tested.

I doubt after this experience I'll ever have the conviction to raise my voice at anyone (as if I really ever have).  Life's too short for that, as the quote says, an argument just interrupts a good conversation.

This is a dry country (not county), and its been 120 days since I've had a beer.  I'm looking ahead to predict consumption patterns when returning to reality, my prediction, only on special occasions, and days that end in 'Y' don't constitute special occasions.

I ordered 5 new retail for 72 dollar Lacoste shirts on ebay for 125.  Why?  Because the 7 $12 gap shirts I brought out for the occasion have shrunk, I believe the washing method is drenching your clothes in boiling water.  According to the documentary 'Iraq for Sale', each bag of laundry runs 99 bucks to wash.  You sure could buy some viagara for that money back home.

I came out here and couldn't do one pullup, now I can do 7 in a row.  I came out not knowing what a 'dip' was, now I can do 30 in a row.  I walk 1 mile to work and back twice a day.  I do the wimpy treadmill for 30 minutes on a good day, 28 on a bad one.

The average temp since touchdown I'd say is about 110.  Often you have these storm type atmospheres, where back in Texas would be followed by rain, here there is no rain.  A buddy of mine said it sprinkled in March for a few minutes, and there was a sort of rain last October, a festive occasion in which scores of people whipped out there digital cams to take pics of the concrete.

The stench, filth, litter and civil disobedience can be at times uncanny, but much is kept in check by keeping the money flowing to company coffers.

When I look back on this 10 years from now, what I'll remember is valiant effort against monumental issues, having no idea how its going to all play out --

I Can't Say for Certain Honey Where I'm Bound, Got no Rich Relations got no extra time

But there's one thing I've learned for fact, There's a Music You can Only Hear When You're Starting from Scratch

I let the beautiful words of Roman Candle fill my Bose noise cancelling headphones, I get whisked away to what I'm almost sure will be a more elegant time in life.

Tonight I think the pros and cons of integrating the past vs starting from scratch.  Often you mistake a blank piece of paper for one that's been written on too much and too often.

First I think, society makes it hard for one to start from scratch.  We have our affiliations, groups, families, friends, ideas, preconceived notions and environments.  On the contrary, we always wake up to a new day, we have opportunities that surround us everyday, and we make conscious decisions weather to partake or ignore.

My buddy posted a quote on facebook that said something like, 'life is a book, and for those who don't travel only read one page.'  I couldn't agree more. 

Travelling allows one to start from scratch and broader horizons.  While the experience allows you to flap your wings, it also enables you to distinguish different harmonies.  John Lennon and Paul McCartney had amazing harmonies; while we can't sing like these legends, we can develop these harmonies in our conventional lives only if we are able to acknowledge and distinguish their existence.

Eastern Europe has been my blank page for some time.  I'm allured to a much simpler life - the big box stores, advertising that subconsciously tries to manipulate my thoughts, and the game, as described by Neil Strauss is all too much.

don't play neil young, don't play bob dylan, just let some high school emo rock band start versing and chorusing

Being deployed is much like prison, lots of time for reading and exercise.

 

My current favorite philosopher / statesman, Cicero of Ancient Rome, considered one of the most versatile minds of the time.

 

the books for the time, 29% done, 71% to go --

• Book of Five Rings: The Classic Guide to Strategy
• Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game - I'm not money hungry, I want to learn about money and the game so I can better understand how the world works.  In times of war, the person with coin can build an army.  
• China Road - fascinating trip down route 312 I hope to do on a Harley one day, v1 of map
• Earth The Sequel - Want to read about practical innovations for the environment, here's the place.
• Work Hard Be Nice - Two teachers take on challanges from a grassroots level 
• and Currently - The Barmaid's Brain: And Other Strange Tales from Science

I have the keys in my mind, but no car for a while, probably a good thing -- 

You got a nice white dress and a party on your confirmation, You got a brand new soul,mmmm, And a cross of gold, But Virginia they didn't give you quite enough information

Something you won't hear in mainstream media who is entertaining and pitting American vs American in ideological battles.

• The biggest market drop in 15 months seems to be because the institution investors in Shanghai decided to initiate a big sell off.  The Shanghai index is largely off limits to foreign investment.  It's grown over 50% this year, and now has contracted 23%.  What it certainly means is that we as a nation are losing the ability to hedge.  At one point we were the Atlas that the free world could trust for growth and stability, we've lost that trust, time will tell if we'll ever get it back.
• Anytime something big is purchased on credit, (house, car, lots of consumer debt) it gets bundled into collateral, which usually lands in a US Treasury bill, which most of the world owns at a cool return on investment percentage.  China has a 1.7 trillion dollar credit, if our tbills don't hold their value, we both lose.
• Our money machines in this country are going overtime printing money.  The reason, someone has to spend, we can't just act like their aren't any implications to the mass consumerism stoppage.  China sees our printing presses going and does the same but in double time, thus begins their transition from a more export based economy to a more consumer based economy.
• China has been looking outward since the 70's, after a very sad history century under Chairman Mao.  China Road is an excellent book that catalogues all the onion layers of the developing nation as they integrate their people and religions; Confucianism, Islam, Buddhism, atheism and the rest.
• Opportunists have been heading east, people who strive for stability have been heading for the Euro
• A quote from China Road goes something like this, "We've ran the race and reached our destination and now have poured ourselves a big cold one, out east, the journey is just beginning"

It's something our great nation is forgetting, "Live together, Die Alone"

They drive the same road drifting over to your side

Your dreams will become part of the future and coincide with the past, You spend all your time by the radio waiting for the signal, But inside, you’ll always feel the same, even when you wake up.

Lyric from Fanfarlo's tune Harold T. Wilkins, or How To Wait For A Very Long Time

--
I ponder the motivation for writing. I like...

1 -- Parsing through 600-1000 RSS feeds in my feed reader, I've come to appreciate prose that's going somewhere. Ranting facts, regardless of truth is certainly merits for snoozing. Reading boldface that has relevance / good title is great, which would allow you to sniff the info, then decide if you want to take the plunge.

2 -- Reading personal accounts, especially of friends. I can count my friends on one hand that keep and maintain a personal blog. A few take that hard look inside, those people I feel very close with emotionally even though we're miles away.

--
Keeping in the spirit of bullet point #2, I've been probing for years and plopping that out on the internet as fodder, learning about myself, giving others a lens into what's going on in my mind.

Seems like I've been going in circles lately without chasing any tail, no pun intended.

However, call it what you will, I believe these personal sentiments all add up to one big goal, or one big coincidence, all you have to do is keep chuggin' away and meander that river in the right direction.

My boy Brendan Benson has a new album out, and like he says, all it takes is a Tiny Spark, and I'll be writing with purpose and theme, till then, how bout' another concentric circle outward.

Trading gossip with the twilight creeps, Killing the flowers that were planted for you

Rounding out the month Ramadan here, I bet the Mosques are full.

I keep going back to this amazing piece by Neil Postman about Technology, something that was written I believe in the 80's, but rings true now more than ever.

Technology enables.  For those who aren't familiar with the capabilities of technology, you get 'greats!' from people who have a vision.  While there are many resounding 'GREATS!' out there in the world, the contrary viewpoint suggests, 'wow, this has many implications that possibly haven't been taken into account.'

Postman says we know everything the 18th century didn't know, and we forgot all it did know.

The other day I was heading the DFAC with some comrades, I pull out the iphone and begin to play a game of risk.  A friend says, 'what the hell are you doing?,' implying thier presence isn't good enough for you to leave the phone alone.  Back home its always been a queue for me to exit stage left when someone begins to play with their phone, and I've always tried to extend that courtesy to the next fella.  Next time I'm out with mates and dates and friends, I'm not going to text, tweet or facebook at the expense of company.

It's amazing the sheer volume of content out there, and amazing how diluted it has become.  Post a quote from a Roman philosopher, you get nothing back, post 'I farted' and you get 13 responses.  Idiocracy has come true.

The new web technologies, esp. twitter is a mechanism that lets you expose your inner soul, so as the tag line says, and a rhetorical questioned posed for all, are you going to trade gossip with the twilight creeps at the expense of the figurative and / or literal flowers that were planted for you?

 

 

Well my wife still respects me even though I really misused her, I am having an affair with the random computer

Coming to the desert has given me TIME.  Time to collect, time to plan, time to gather, time to access.  Sorta like the weekend getaway but much, much longer.  Complaining about the enviable or things unchangeable has become a thing of the past.

 

Once my time is up, I plan to explode in the direction of my next goal, the next plan, and do more than strive for the extraordinary, but take that next step, doing it decisively and with great conviction.

 

While moving in that direction, finding like minded people is tough.  One day the white noise left my head, which lead to malaise in body and spirit.  Overcoming these personal mile markers is the ultimate triumph in human spirit.

 

While striving pragmatically towards a goal or mission, personal prejudices almost always shine through, diluting the goal to something in your head that's manageable.  For instance, if your pursuit is the almighty dollar, things like politics only become an excuse for the weak: Mark Cuban says, 'Getting rich is the most patriotic thing you can do, and it's a hell of great problem to have.'

 

We're living in times like Mark Twain suggests, 'where you're more loyal to a political ideology than you are the country', if that's what the populous wants, that's what they get.  Issues in the world today transcend politics, and if we don't we refuse to accept that, someone else will take the ball and run with it.

 

Sensationalism is what's been killing the pragmatic mind in America.  Words that you hear on the news, the speculative frenzy of media lies and twists, and the dumming down of every problem into a sound byte that's digestible by pop culture.  'Hey, look what I saw on tv, hey, look what my favorite pundit said, or even hey look what i read.'  Somewhere in the hearts and minds of all of us, regardless of if we're a plumber or a computer guy, we're now the subject matter experts on health care, global warming, jihad or any other issue currently at hand.

 

The opposite of sensationalism is ideas.  The idea virus shy's away from sensationalism, and as society evolves and clumps together, who wins is now who speaks the loudest and uses the most absurd words to exclaim their point.  Meanwhile the idea bubble will form somewhere else, and the money will follow.

 

What it means for me moving forward:  Ideology doesn't play nearly as huge of a role in my goals as relativism and transcendentalism.  This mindset has allowed me to have conversations from all spheres of ideas from smart people that I'd never sit at the table together, for arguing ideological semantics is destructive to transcendental thought.

 

Regardless of your definition of progress, we will do so when the mass demand it.

Deal me in and I'll pick my cards up off the floor I'll see a lucky coin And raise a pack of lies

Was thinking about toasting here's to life, but I can't stomach a near beer tonight.  Instead a big fat piece of cake, China Road and Flight 666 on my off time while sitting at work.

 

Tonight I think about the meaning of success, and the varying levels.  Music for instance, artists used to get a record deal, sell out stadiums and enjoy phenomenal fan bases.  Now in the digital era and the abundance of talent and availability, what defines the new Metallica, Pink Floyd, Led Zepplin, etc.

 

There's songs that reach pop culture b/c its all they can digest, songs that reach a plurality b/c they speak to the heart of something substantial, and there's a new breed, something more abstract, that's meaningful yet impersonal and in subtle ways painful and abrasive.  Not painful and abrasive in the sissy Linkin Park way (its like a roller coaster, its scary on the surface, but in reality good family fun.), but rather something that's defining a mindful yet confused faction of society.

 

Success is where you set the goalposts, for as New Rules puts it, "In a network, the more opportunities that are taken, the faster new opportunities arise" -- no chance in keepin' up.

I got the Jeep, She got the two bedroom-mortgage is due-siding light blue palace

Catchpenny is spinning (??) in my MP3 player.  I would say they're a mix between Snug and Fastball with the hometown vibe of Kissenger.

 

What makes the band special?  They do shows in Iraq.  More than opportunism makes one hop on a plane to do something like that, call it curiosity, patriotism, or just good old fashion adventure.

 

A few weeks ago I said I'd like to take my judging and critique hat off in more circumstances.  Fast forward a few weeks, letting more in is allowing me to extend dialogue, both verbally and digitally.

 

Tomorrow I am going to see Mark Chestnutt, Didn't really know his work, but after a couple songs he kinda reminds me of a modern day Charlie Pride.

Let’s get a silver bullet trailer and have a baby boy, I’ll safety-pin his clothes all cool and you’ll grafitti up his toys

Regina Spector seems like the coolest gal ever to hang with.  Not only does she do great duets with my boys Ben Folds and Sondre Lerche, she's got the tunes with the beat, the lyrics with the heart, and we can't forget the perfect body with eyelashes that catch her sweat.

 

Makes me think of things I'd love to do with a significant other one day, as per dreamy song lyrics and other scenerios--

• Go check out the coast of Montenegro because it was Steve Malkmus's favorite target in The Hook
• Catch a bon jovi show in switzerland in a cool summer day with rain included

ahhh, well, that's all i got for now

In a hot air balloon with a rusty nail, Looking over your shoulder and setting sail

What I had for dinner....hmm -- Now that's a great question --

 

Peoples perceptions about being out in the middle of the desert lead you to believe bugs, sloppy goo in a bag, prison style porage, etc --

 

In reality, its easier to eat a balanced / healthy meal here than in the states.  Also, its easier to gorge yourself silly on icecream, cheesesteak, or any other fried goodness.  For the spending record, every Friday night is 'surf and turf' (steak and lobster), lets just round it to 150,000 people.  Not to mention the carbon footprint of getting it from under the sea to here!  WHEW!

 

Lately its been like Obama's first ride on Air Force One.  The cook says 'what do you want to eat, we have everything' -- Obama's response, 'You got some sandwiches?'

 

---

Entertainment --

 

Nill, other than media from the Amazon lifeline in the form of Iron Maidens Flight 666, a blueray of Roy Orbison and also a concert of The Who circa long time ago.  The actual physical CD has become my friend again, as a typical CD will cost 5-7 bucks online.

 

Shoes --

 

Seems like I'm needing a new pair every six weeks, the lenght of walking is tremendous, the dust and sweat, and when rainy season comes mud -- really does a number on the zapatos.

 

The Near Beer --

 

Is God's Cruel Joke.  I'm sitting next to a non-alcoholic Lowenbrau which I drank last night for sanity's sake.  Immediately got me thinking of Berlin and finer times where I would cordially go up to the bar and request 'Zwei IceBier', in which two of these high alcohol content beauties would be placed in my hands.

 

The Work --

 

Is something for the mind and memory

 

The Shopping --

 

Something I had no idea how to imagine before I got out here, and something I still can't wrap my head around after seeing the options, or lack thereof.

 

Enrichment Opportunities --

 

Lots of time to work on your trade, they have a testing center here too to get certified on whatever you'd like.  There are arabic classes, salsa classes, and a flurry of related generic'ish activities.

 

The Weather --

 

At first glance, hot, dusty and miserable.  After getting acquainted, I'd say there's a mystical quality to it -- So hot during the day, but 6 AM the weather is gentle, as if the vast and open-ness of the landscape allowed this to blow in from....where??  perhaps Turkey?  Who knows?, but its something I've been pondering, consequently while listening to Andrew Bird's 'Weather Systems' --

 

The Music --

 

Its harder to stay up with it, considering ONE mp3 takes about 10 minutes to download when you get to the chu's, and what very little bandwidth you have is best utilized for skype, and the courtesy of others.

 

The People --

 

Are a microcosm of the real world, good, bad, tricky, movers and shakers, you name it, it's here.  The difference is everyone except for a handful of us roll around with guns.  There's something surprisingly Orwellian about the psychology.

 

Overall --

Extraordinary

All these things will come to pass When heroes of the middle class Face up to their responsibilities

before coming to the desert, a buddy of mine said 'the people will make all the difference' -- the textures of Islam in the distance, Ugandans playing soccer, plenty of America f*ck yea ice cream in the dfac do little to quell the monotony of the situations, but the personal relationships cultivated are priceless.

I came out here to see a whole different world, in physical reality, mindset, and to see a breath of spirit that is ever expanding into the open mind.

what's going to happen out here, hell who knows, when the money runs dry (o wait, that's happened) and popular opinion dwindles, my guess is some sort of parliamentary dictator will take hold, but we'll have them on strings.

afgan is the place, wow, what a fascinating and sad place the more you dig in -- we've taken their 'banks', i.e. opium fields, hence they're pissed. how's this for a challenge, 94% of your countries GDP comes from opium --

--

When I'm done here, I think I want to live here, and study here

All the Stars Seemed Lined Up in the Sky, Those 4 Letter words are in your Eyes

Facebook has added visibility to my blog presence, 99% of this new base if newbies to facebook, but old friends, etc, etc, hence, adding a very personal aspect to writing. Every time that happens I get writers block.

Back in the old days I could blast out political sentiments, existential thoughts, and other points of contention and societal grind. It's harder to expand your boundaries and still have a plurality with the rapport of your friends and family -- It's easy to blast, blast, blast to the world, it has little consequence.

Society and its labels -- Throughout the years, people just don't know what to smack on me to help them understand what I think or feel. I've been affectionately been called 'communist, hippie, socialist, pacifist', blah blah, yet I work the defense contracting machine. I go to church more than most and yet I don't think the trinity will play a big part in my life, unless it's the matrix trinity.

Where have I been the last couple years...to hell and back emotionally would be an understatement, all self inflicted b/c for the most part I lived a charmed life. Self inflicted hell is what motivates me, it's the hard 20 after the easy 80 has been accomplished is where I find comfort.

Most points of discussion / argument in social culture have been settled in my mind, hence much of what I see and hear is aggregated is skewed, tired and old. Life to me is a pursuit of interest and unique opportunities and conversation. My passion lies in talking about politics, religion and the girl.

I've had several people say I've fell into a bout' with pessimism; I agree, and we can't have that. I've been regaining a positive mental attitude, and I feel that it's going to come back with vibrancy.

Life out here in the desert has helped buy my freedom from economic shackles, putting the world in an oyster. I've had to do a lot of life maneuvering to get here, more cuts and jukes to come.

My blog visibility used to be to 20 or so loyal readers, now critiques come from different people who I had no idea tuned in -- The friends I have in my first few concentric rings of influence I think is an interesting microcosm of people that bring a ton of different perspective to the table.

So the nudging, judging, perceived narrow perceptions of readers and also the writer is all a part of establishing a strong rapport with all dear in my life. Not everyone will like or agree, but I'm thinking it all through, often out loud --

For the foreseeable future, I will focus on the lighter side of things, and the hopeless romanticisms life has to offer --

An address to the golden door, I was strumming on a stone again Pulling teeth from the pimps of gore when hatched

I can't really wrap my head around short selling the market.  This week I'm going to conduct an experiement based on companies that are expected to do well.

 

Initial capital = 5,000

Expected daily return = 3%

Commission Fees = 26 bucks / day

 

Stock that I think will perform well per day --

 

monday - hum
tuesday - ice
wed - axs
thurs - awh
fri - mir

 

if i'm right, the pflight of 5,000

 

Monday = $5,124.02
Tuesday = $5,277.74
Wed = $5,436.07
Thurs = $5,599.16
Fri = $5,767.13

 

There are other points to ponder, on a general level, I'm going to see how this plays out

 

I like scenerios one and two, I'm focusing on mastering scenerio 1 first, then moving on to the rest --

This is believe me music, this is forget me music This is who can love me you know, this aint no roxy music

in a nutshell, living out shines a spotlight on the difficulty i have living under conventional circumstances.

sure there are concrete walls everywhere, the bed sucks, dust and sand everywhere, the food fluctuates, and the days are short, months are long.

back home are relationships, commutes, politics and media and all you can eat.

life is exciting and meaningful, both the beauty and the struggle is in the little details.

lots of pop psychology and philosophy floating around in my head, too tired to organize --

beer in my lap, one window down, bird in the tree, kiss on the mouth

Lots of time for introspection in the desert, working the noon to midnight shift, a ritual of mine is hanging out facing the airport over a man made lake, looking at the planes and helicopters flying around.

Thinking about history, what always went down in the books was were the civilizations 'rubbed', not the Greek guy chillin out eating grapes, BUT, I've learned to understand how to cherish those times......at least mentally.

The world turns while you're out here, I have very little baggage or obligation in life and I still feel it -- I can't imagine how families must *cope* with being away from each other.

Phases one goes through, denial, anger, acceptance -- I'm beyond the acceptance phase and have reached the phase of pragmatism in wanting to get something done, both for the job and personally.

The late nights remind me of the dreary fast paced nostalgia I lived months ago. Life has done a 180, I'm doing the time to empower myself to do extraordinary things with my life. At times its hard, but at the same time this is the perfect catalyst for me to dot the i's and cross the t's in my life, and straighten the bowling pins before knocking them down again.

I've consistently been hard on others, perhaps moreso than myself in life, I've really come to realize that out here. I've judged so much and still do, I go about thinking, wow, 'they're settling.' A better way to look at things is 'they are just framing their realities in a different way.'

Reality has lost 'center' for me, and many parts of me are glad that this has happened, I'm in a minset of minute by minute growth. I feel I have to re-define what conventional means to me and for me so I can bring others into the equation.

This has been on repeat the last few days -- I Was a Fool by Roman Candle

--

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RuOvEimumY

--

Out in the evening past the bridge and below
frogs and cicadas left and right growling low.
I've spent so much time round here when spring is done
been here a thousand times, not heard a single one.
Birds in the morning while I'm shoveling the snow
coffee pot wheezing soft as my stereo

All of the things I've had whether I've known or not
All of the things I've known and then somehow forgot

When I was young riding around
beer in my lap, one window down
bird in the tree, kiss on the mouth
I thought that I had figured it out
I was a fool. Then I met you.

Dusk was the longest hour when I was a kid.
Beautiful things sometimes can seem pretty hid.
Funny the things that make you want to walk the land
are the things sometimes you barely understand.

Found lots of crooked road before I found you
hard to curse any road but sometimes you do.
Feeling all strung out, drawn up from head to gut
I was calling out, I didn't know for what

When I was young riding around
beer in my lap, one window down
bird in the hand, kiss on the mouth
I thought that I had figured it out

All of these things so hard to find
up in my face, lost to my mind
hand on the knee, kiss on the mouth
I thought that I had figured it out
I was a fool.

He's ahead of his time you know but, he cant use it - If only he could prove it

One of the 'most fun' things out here is water detail.  We make an assembly line out the building and proceed to bring 6 huge pallets of water outside the building to inside.  If the '12 packs' are extremely dirty, we feel like we haven't got our money's worth.

 

Planning a trip down the old silk road in China, on one of these , can't wait to go, meanwhile I'm reading about Republic of Letters.

Weary sun, sleep tonight, go crashing into the ocean, Cut the line that ties the tide and moon, ancient and blue

General Updates --

1. The heat is much better than the dust, tomorrow the 'feels like ' index will be 138, its not describable
2. Big difference between the sand and dust, dust is much worse
3. one word, Jackyl, not the chainsaw solo band, but the animal, subject to many jokes around here concerning lonely soldiers, etc
4. Seriously thinking about taking the 'chernobyl tour' when i'm done here, either in the winter next summer
5. cd's are my best friend, if i have a new compilation a day, it brightens my day
6. lots of opportunities i'll have leaving this place for sure, but opportunities are finding me here as well

Been very lucky to have met some lifelong buddies here, and very lucky to have several points of reference back home.  I'm used to this already, and for someone 'like me', it has been a feat.  It means not just getting along, but functioning and thriving in a mindset I'm far from accostomed to --

 

I miss a lot of folks back home, I often think about them, how it would be like if certain individuals were out here in the desert, and things spoiled people would complain about.

1. irregular water flow and temperature
2. coat of dust on everything 10 minutes after cleaning, a thick coat after a week
3. long, long walks in the hot hot heat
4. eating the same thing over and over and over and over
5. driving / travelling conditions that are to the point where you'd rather NOT go anywhere
6. staying inside ALL day b/c it isn't too bearable outside
7. zero aesthetic, 5000 percent bizarre
8. walking on a dark sidewalk seeing someone ahead of you thinking, are they going to go postal today?
9. no 24 by 7 coverage of monkey trials or pop star funerals

The disparities, to the victors go the spoils

1. ac ducts hanging out of our buildings equipped with generators and portable ac's, b/c its probably cheaper than fixing the existing french versions
2. people throwing plate full of assorted stuff away while people starve in the distance
3. having the gun that says, we see your missle, and we'll shoot it down before it hits anything
4. Quran w/ Democracy, a question that has plagued western civilization, it ain't going to be answered anytime soon
5. creative ways to have fun out here, many of these things are burned into my head already
6. we do have a store, it has about 10 things in it, including a 20 dollar microfiber towel i dream about every day

Back in the day I wrote with a point, now I just ramble -- I have some points, just don't know how to make them, till then I'm poaching, hoping a jakyl doesn't piss on me --