back to harping on the 'when you're a hammer, all you see is nails' routine ---
back home this is most prevalent in the bar scene. once i went out with a dental crew, i'm sitting in the corner talking to a lady about life while everyone is jammin' to the window to the wall and getting their groove on out there -- people hooking up see other people hooking up, hipsters see hipsters, so on and so forth.
army sees army, art sees art, music sees music, black sees black, white sees white, straight sees straight, gay sees gay, hardly little compromise.
I get about 15 - 20 minutes of american tv per day, fox to msnbc to cnn in the span of 15 minutes, and its all F*CK*NG GARBAGE. How can anyone watch ANY of that and take it with any grain of reality or relevance? Then its back to hammers seeing nails, people seeing and believing what they want to, so they don't have to think.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Saturday, June 06, 2009
if you want to play the prophet man you got to learn the lines...compassion
its funny watching the 'foreigners' here pick up American military tradition, especially at the chow hall when the individual slinging rice on your plate says 'here you go SIR' with potency.
prevailing currents of weather are interesting here, today was hot, but a relatively cool circular breeze was blowing.
times get long, i just have to keep in mind i'm running a marathon not a sprint --
prevailing currents of weather are interesting here, today was hot, but a relatively cool circular breeze was blowing.
times get long, i just have to keep in mind i'm running a marathon not a sprint --
Friday, June 05, 2009
with red lights flashign time to retire, and we turned the liquor store into a structure fire
today i began thinking about careers, and the relevance people put in them, and how they so much strive to be like the person or position above them, beside them, beyond them, and they let it dictate how they live their lives.
baseball players who can hit the curve ball out of the park get paid big bucks, those who can switch hit and hit breaking balls are the superstars.
bad part about the world we live in is people get all giddy when they hit a single or double, and expect a-rod dollars for it. its the time when everyone gets a trophy, and you're bound for promotion reguardless. -- that's always been the same.
i'd say what got me to baghdad was swinging at a slyder in the dirt on a 2 and 2 pitch and running out a base hit. not an ideal situation, not what i wanted to do when i was in the batters box waiting to hit, but i sure am glad that i got that base hit.
hell, i might even have a cramp from running out the throw, but next time i'm at the plate and the perfect pitch comes, its going yard, and that time's coming.
why? not sticking to convention, not posturing my life for the next slop on the totem pole, but by something completely different, something very rewarding.
baseball players who can hit the curve ball out of the park get paid big bucks, those who can switch hit and hit breaking balls are the superstars.
bad part about the world we live in is people get all giddy when they hit a single or double, and expect a-rod dollars for it. its the time when everyone gets a trophy, and you're bound for promotion reguardless. -- that's always been the same.
i'd say what got me to baghdad was swinging at a slyder in the dirt on a 2 and 2 pitch and running out a base hit. not an ideal situation, not what i wanted to do when i was in the batters box waiting to hit, but i sure am glad that i got that base hit.
hell, i might even have a cramp from running out the throw, but next time i'm at the plate and the perfect pitch comes, its going yard, and that time's coming.
why? not sticking to convention, not posturing my life for the next slop on the totem pole, but by something completely different, something very rewarding.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Hope in the freedom he can almost touch, Folk take for granted as they walk to church
Thinking about the conflict in the middle east, I see two distinct tactics unfolding --
Two bullies back in middle school get in a fight,
1 -- they fight, beating each other up while everyone else is going 'woah', brutal, blah blah -- sometimes a whole brawl ensues, a free for all so to speak. at the end of it, the bullies at the least are all beat up, maybe even more, and then all go back to their places going damn, that shit hurt.
2 -- a principle gets in front of the bullies and says look, you ain't gonna fight.
The POTUS gave a speech today in Cairo, I wasn't able to see it, but a line that's been common through has been to focus on common interest, most reasonable minds in the middle east agree that violence isn't the way to roll.
Stats show (according to Newsweek) that G Dub and the boys killed 85% of the al qaeda, supposedly only 2-300 of those boogers left. Picking them out with the help of a moderate voice in Islam, which is most around here, is the way to do it.
Sure we could continue to do what Robin Williams said in 'Good Morning Vietnam' and say, 'Well sir, how do you know if they're the bad guy', 'Well we ask them, are you the bad guy? and if they say yes, we shoot em' -- but the transcendental approach is to refine the theocracries and academics.
Back to the bully analogy, there is some relevance to punching the bad guy in the face, the other bullies don't want to f*ck with you, however, both the strength and weakness of radical Islam is chaos and unorganization, and we're not dealing with bullies, we're dealing with weasels.
Two bullies back in middle school get in a fight,
1 -- they fight, beating each other up while everyone else is going 'woah', brutal, blah blah -- sometimes a whole brawl ensues, a free for all so to speak. at the end of it, the bullies at the least are all beat up, maybe even more, and then all go back to their places going damn, that shit hurt.
2 -- a principle gets in front of the bullies and says look, you ain't gonna fight.
The POTUS gave a speech today in Cairo, I wasn't able to see it, but a line that's been common through has been to focus on common interest, most reasonable minds in the middle east agree that violence isn't the way to roll.
Stats show (according to Newsweek) that G Dub and the boys killed 85% of the al qaeda, supposedly only 2-300 of those boogers left. Picking them out with the help of a moderate voice in Islam, which is most around here, is the way to do it.
Sure we could continue to do what Robin Williams said in 'Good Morning Vietnam' and say, 'Well sir, how do you know if they're the bad guy', 'Well we ask them, are you the bad guy? and if they say yes, we shoot em' -- but the transcendental approach is to refine the theocracries and academics.
Back to the bully analogy, there is some relevance to punching the bad guy in the face, the other bullies don't want to f*ck with you, however, both the strength and weakness of radical Islam is chaos and unorganization, and we're not dealing with bullies, we're dealing with weasels.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Sailing heart-ships thru broken harbors Out on the waves in the night
At some point man invented the clock, driving a wedge between himself and god / nature.
Mathamatics led to currency lead to traders led to banks led to economics led to leverage, growth being the bottom line.
What happens when the market reaches 14k again, what about 28k -- It reminds me of something I read in a book recently about having 'enough.' When is 'enough' and what makes humans reach for the illusive dangling carrot, and what prevents their will power from holding back from the 50 inch tv?
So what is going to push humanity foward, past the age of consumption. The most powerful piece on the chess board is the queen, and I think the queen is going to push us to the next level. Queen = mother nature, and when I say she's going to push us to the next level, it means she's going to make the markets her b*tch.
It's happening now, first solar, etc, etc -- the markets will usher in the new age, only to be met with gradual irrevelance, don't ask me how' its going to happen, but that's my prediction. Could be her hiccuping us off the planet, could be us learning a little obedience and less arrogance.
Your perspective on the world doesn't change when you have money in your pocket, you're still the same ol' person you've always been, I think people often forget that point and frame everything around monetary policy.
I've been hitting the chess board again, I enjoy running through the scenerios, and during my 'library break' I play a brief game of risk, polishing up my attack, wait, fortification, strategy skills.
I often think about what it means the 'be in love' out here, as I see so many people missing their families, wives, kids -- I'm waiting for the shockers to bring back that fleeting feeling to my soul.
Like Toshi said today in an email, this kind of stuff helps your mind -- It doesn't need to get really any deeper than that, just something that frames reality in a different way -- I *think* its actually seeing the collective world for what it is, we see races of people that fight each other, to no end, for various reasons. Same reasons the dems fight the repubs, christians vs muslims, catholics vs protestants -- Before guns there were arrows, before arrows spears, before spears, clubs, so on and so forth.
It helps the mind by allowing you to focus on yourself, but not about yourself -- It helps you identify your place in the world.
I think about the fall of empires, french in indochina, brits in america, etc, etc throughout history, and the prevailing theme was a loss of financial sustainment. Sure these good willing fellas had the stay the course attitude, but to play a bad joke, when the lobster gives way to bread and water in the chow hall, and when the money stops flowing, history tells us we have a problem, despite and resolve one might have. With the money goes food and 'standard of living', time just has to lean a degree and game over, today, tomorrow, next year, 100 years, whatever.
Living 1,000 yards away from 5% or so of 5 million people who really really really don't like you, at all is a learning curve.
Mathamatics led to currency lead to traders led to banks led to economics led to leverage, growth being the bottom line.
What happens when the market reaches 14k again, what about 28k -- It reminds me of something I read in a book recently about having 'enough.' When is 'enough' and what makes humans reach for the illusive dangling carrot, and what prevents their will power from holding back from the 50 inch tv?
So what is going to push humanity foward, past the age of consumption. The most powerful piece on the chess board is the queen, and I think the queen is going to push us to the next level. Queen = mother nature, and when I say she's going to push us to the next level, it means she's going to make the markets her b*tch.
It's happening now, first solar, etc, etc -- the markets will usher in the new age, only to be met with gradual irrevelance, don't ask me how' its going to happen, but that's my prediction. Could be her hiccuping us off the planet, could be us learning a little obedience and less arrogance.
Your perspective on the world doesn't change when you have money in your pocket, you're still the same ol' person you've always been, I think people often forget that point and frame everything around monetary policy.
I've been hitting the chess board again, I enjoy running through the scenerios, and during my 'library break' I play a brief game of risk, polishing up my attack, wait, fortification, strategy skills.
I often think about what it means the 'be in love' out here, as I see so many people missing their families, wives, kids -- I'm waiting for the shockers to bring back that fleeting feeling to my soul.
Like Toshi said today in an email, this kind of stuff helps your mind -- It doesn't need to get really any deeper than that, just something that frames reality in a different way -- I *think* its actually seeing the collective world for what it is, we see races of people that fight each other, to no end, for various reasons. Same reasons the dems fight the repubs, christians vs muslims, catholics vs protestants -- Before guns there were arrows, before arrows spears, before spears, clubs, so on and so forth.
It helps the mind by allowing you to focus on yourself, but not about yourself -- It helps you identify your place in the world.
I think about the fall of empires, french in indochina, brits in america, etc, etc throughout history, and the prevailing theme was a loss of financial sustainment. Sure these good willing fellas had the stay the course attitude, but to play a bad joke, when the lobster gives way to bread and water in the chow hall, and when the money stops flowing, history tells us we have a problem, despite and resolve one might have. With the money goes food and 'standard of living', time just has to lean a degree and game over, today, tomorrow, next year, 100 years, whatever.
Living 1,000 yards away from 5% or so of 5 million people who really really really don't like you, at all is a learning curve.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
i can walk down my old block, and not a lot can make my old knees knock
but when there's a sad storm in the desert, things that go bump in the night are creepy, just watching the dust EAT people in front of you --
highlight of my time in baghdad this far, having 'DFAC' dinner with my cousin, GREAT to see him, catch up, talk about the family, talking about the time leading up to us getting here, literally and figuratively.
fighting against being exhausted, i'm winning :)
highlight of my time in baghdad this far, having 'DFAC' dinner with my cousin, GREAT to see him, catch up, talk about the family, talking about the time leading up to us getting here, literally and figuratively.
fighting against being exhausted, i'm winning :)
Saturday, May 30, 2009
All anyone can ever want is a co-pilot Someone to leave this town and Up and start a secret
Blogging after an EXHAUSTING day, this isn't Kansas, come to think of it, its not like anything I've remotely experienced before, that's why it's a good thing.
I sit at mental gridlock, although tons on my mind. It's hard to look towards the future at the moment, instead the general rule is to live day by day.
This morning's jog with O'Dub was nice, the weather was beautiful.
Everyone chuckles about groundhog day, but you don't really know what its like until you're living it, or in my case, as close as I'll ever come to it --
A typical routine here for you limited time off,
Sun -- Some sort of quick impromptu bbq
Mon -- Flag Football
Tues -- Volleyball
Wed -- Hang out on Patio
Thur -- Ping Pong
Fri -- Movie at 'theater'
Sat -- Some sort of fellowship
I've been the introvert here, mine has went something like get up, go to work, leave work, go to sleep, but I'm working up the energy to break it up, something like this
Sun -- Music DVD of week
Mon -- Call a loved one, tell them they're loved
Tues -- Gym
Wed -- Strum Guitar
Thur -- Hang out in hopes of good conversation
Fri -- Album of the Week
Sat -- A nice introspective meditation and subsequent blogging
Everywhere I look I see opportunity, it reminds me of what my mom always says, everywhere I look I see work. How does one 'weave' themselves in to an introverted and cliquish crowd.
The bigger the crowd, the less vested interested is in the people getting together. No matter how much one wants to give, you can't give what someone doesn't want. That's something new I think about moving forward when trying to bring people together. An oil man doesn't want to talk wind, and a hippie doesn't want to talk to a conservative, etc.
At this moment in my time in the sand, I'm apathetic to branching out, all in due time, slowly but surely. I'm having a hard time bridging the fundamental differences in why people are here, until I can figure out a common thread, its hard for me to communicate.
----
In times of extreme tired, the song I always go back to is 'inside of love' by nadasurf -- such a cool tune --
I sit at mental gridlock, although tons on my mind. It's hard to look towards the future at the moment, instead the general rule is to live day by day.
This morning's jog with O'Dub was nice, the weather was beautiful.
Everyone chuckles about groundhog day, but you don't really know what its like until you're living it, or in my case, as close as I'll ever come to it --
A typical routine here for you limited time off,
Sun -- Some sort of quick impromptu bbq
Mon -- Flag Football
Tues -- Volleyball
Wed -- Hang out on Patio
Thur -- Ping Pong
Fri -- Movie at 'theater'
Sat -- Some sort of fellowship
I've been the introvert here, mine has went something like get up, go to work, leave work, go to sleep, but I'm working up the energy to break it up, something like this
Sun -- Music DVD of week
Mon -- Call a loved one, tell them they're loved
Tues -- Gym
Wed -- Strum Guitar
Thur -- Hang out in hopes of good conversation
Fri -- Album of the Week
Sat -- A nice introspective meditation and subsequent blogging
Everywhere I look I see opportunity, it reminds me of what my mom always says, everywhere I look I see work. How does one 'weave' themselves in to an introverted and cliquish crowd.
The bigger the crowd, the less vested interested is in the people getting together. No matter how much one wants to give, you can't give what someone doesn't want. That's something new I think about moving forward when trying to bring people together. An oil man doesn't want to talk wind, and a hippie doesn't want to talk to a conservative, etc.
At this moment in my time in the sand, I'm apathetic to branching out, all in due time, slowly but surely. I'm having a hard time bridging the fundamental differences in why people are here, until I can figure out a common thread, its hard for me to communicate.
----
In times of extreme tired, the song I always go back to is 'inside of love' by nadasurf -- such a cool tune --
Thursday, May 28, 2009
last night I dreamt that I grew wings, I found a place where they could hear me when I sing
Life in Baghdad-e-o isn't all that bad, long hours, hard work, don't even know where to begin with all those.
Just walk with an authoritative walk and do you job, I guess that's the way to roll --
Teamwork is big out here, which is AWESOME -- Pile A needs to get into building, everyone assembles to help, not a 'thats not my job,' etc. Heaven forbid we take our OWN TRASH out, we clean our own area, etc.
Yesterday I started a pflight to get in not just good, not just great, but the pinnacle of my physical fitness. This means 2.5 miles a night, and 3 miles in the morning.
I also read somewhere about, you guess it, food is addicting. Chemicals can make food taste like anything these days...if you want a 'seared' (sp?) flavor, just add a few drops of this, that or the other. Luckily there is a healthy menu out here, and I've been exercising EXTREME self control. My only indulgences, ice cream on Friday night, and two near beers on Saturday, while sitting at my desk at work.
Logistics of the job, getting from point a to b, and also just logistics of living, Things are very organized, everything is, I guess they have to be. The mind is a wash, how did I get here, I belong but I don't belong feelings, but I know great things are going to become of this, I'll definitely be able to mark some things off my list.
Just walk with an authoritative walk and do you job, I guess that's the way to roll --
Teamwork is big out here, which is AWESOME -- Pile A needs to get into building, everyone assembles to help, not a 'thats not my job,' etc. Heaven forbid we take our OWN TRASH out, we clean our own area, etc.
Yesterday I started a pflight to get in not just good, not just great, but the pinnacle of my physical fitness. This means 2.5 miles a night, and 3 miles in the morning.
I also read somewhere about, you guess it, food is addicting. Chemicals can make food taste like anything these days...if you want a 'seared' (sp?) flavor, just add a few drops of this, that or the other. Luckily there is a healthy menu out here, and I've been exercising EXTREME self control. My only indulgences, ice cream on Friday night, and two near beers on Saturday, while sitting at my desk at work.
Logistics of the job, getting from point a to b, and also just logistics of living, Things are very organized, everything is, I guess they have to be. The mind is a wash, how did I get here, I belong but I don't belong feelings, but I know great things are going to become of this, I'll definitely be able to mark some things off my list.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
When the past becomes the now, When the lost becomes the found, When We Fall in Love with War, When the Angel.....
Nothing says a hard days rockin' like falling asleep while walking -- I promise to never complain about a 40 hour week again, I won't ever complain about pulling weeds in yards, It's a good hardening effect here.
Meeting all sorts of cool people, linguists, politicians, people studying Arabic, etc, etc. Always the 'dumbest one in the room' syndrome with me.
The 'MWR' facilities are the best, the work hours are the worse -- Starting to eat less, exercise more. 2 weeks down, a ways to go --
Last weekend I was in denial of where I was, totally, this weekend is a sorta bleak acceptance. In a weird sorta way I like it out here, that doesn't mean that I don't dream about my 'happy land' time in Bavaria.
I would say this constituents 'living on the fringes,' -- I'm doing 'hard stuff' now so I'll be set for the unique opportunities coming in the future.
More to come after a nights sleep, or getting used to this schedule, if that's even possible --
WIFI to SKYPE via IPHONE to people in USA --- equals the world is flat, at least for communication, however I wish were had artery style bandwidth instead of a skinny vein.
Meeting all sorts of cool people, linguists, politicians, people studying Arabic, etc, etc. Always the 'dumbest one in the room' syndrome with me.
The 'MWR' facilities are the best, the work hours are the worse -- Starting to eat less, exercise more. 2 weeks down, a ways to go --
Last weekend I was in denial of where I was, totally, this weekend is a sorta bleak acceptance. In a weird sorta way I like it out here, that doesn't mean that I don't dream about my 'happy land' time in Bavaria.
I would say this constituents 'living on the fringes,' -- I'm doing 'hard stuff' now so I'll be set for the unique opportunities coming in the future.
More to come after a nights sleep, or getting used to this schedule, if that's even possible --
WIFI to SKYPE via IPHONE to people in USA --- equals the world is flat, at least for communication, however I wish were had artery style bandwidth instead of a skinny vein.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Because my inside is outside My right side's on the left side
Tonight broadcasting from 'the fish bowl,' the original and only bordello in the palace complex area. Disorientation continues, eyes hurt terribly bad today, burnout has came and went. A few more iterations and I'll be used to this.
The 'hula girls' from Hawaii were here tonight providing entertainment including song like 'Imagine' Hawaii hula girl style. Airman G says, 'this is great entertainment, just look at everyone out here having a good time.'
This made me consider how critical I am of life in general, and how advanced our society is as to be able to give criticism on such a granular level, i.e. 'he didn't sound that G chord out right', or the show was great, but the theatrics were just 'ok', etc.
---
How is this going to play out? Regardless of if we leave tomorrow, a month, a year, ten years, or 100 years from now?
-- The Iraqi 'bill of rights' says it best and I paraphrase, 'Anything that goes against the Quran is strictly prohibited.'
The 'marketing' over the loud speakers two or three times a day, and what 'academia' in the middle east teaches will keep it same as it ever was.
The 'hula girls' from Hawaii were here tonight providing entertainment including song like 'Imagine' Hawaii hula girl style. Airman G says, 'this is great entertainment, just look at everyone out here having a good time.'
This made me consider how critical I am of life in general, and how advanced our society is as to be able to give criticism on such a granular level, i.e. 'he didn't sound that G chord out right', or the show was great, but the theatrics were just 'ok', etc.
---
How is this going to play out? Regardless of if we leave tomorrow, a month, a year, ten years, or 100 years from now?
-- The Iraqi 'bill of rights' says it best and I paraphrase, 'Anything that goes against the Quran is strictly prohibited.'
The 'marketing' over the loud speakers two or three times a day, and what 'academia' in the middle east teaches will keep it same as it ever was.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Christ could walk on water we can wade through the war You don't need to tell me who the fire is for
4 am venture to the loo's this morning reveals the moon / star that's present on the flag of Islam, man and his symbols.
It's safe to say that 'things' move 3-4 times quicker here than back home, strip the frivolous politics from you day to day work environment and you get what you have here, you need it, you got it. No pet rocks in the building, a great caliber of people all around.
What have I been doing to stave off insanity and attempt to create rhythm? Trying very hard to create a routine. Never thought I'd be happy to say 'I'm glad its Monday, but I am, for its when America lights up, around 4pm here, the people, the markets, the list serves.
I've found a nice walkabout around a lake, inside its about 60 degrees with the computers, outside its 100 plus. I do plan on making 5pm or so 'calling time' to family back home, and 5am calling time for friends back home. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, tea run at the barista 9pm, PX run to look at the same ol' crusty stuff in the afternoon, 'Blackhawk Mall' on Saturday.
There are other options I'm looking at too, all in all, I would say enough to keep busy for the tour here.
Speaking of tours, also plenty time to start planning my world tour 2010. Starting in Iceland, so far the cities are..
It's safe to say that 'things' move 3-4 times quicker here than back home, strip the frivolous politics from you day to day work environment and you get what you have here, you need it, you got it. No pet rocks in the building, a great caliber of people all around.
What have I been doing to stave off insanity and attempt to create rhythm? Trying very hard to create a routine. Never thought I'd be happy to say 'I'm glad its Monday, but I am, for its when America lights up, around 4pm here, the people, the markets, the list serves.
I've found a nice walkabout around a lake, inside its about 60 degrees with the computers, outside its 100 plus. I do plan on making 5pm or so 'calling time' to family back home, and 5am calling time for friends back home. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, tea run at the barista 9pm, PX run to look at the same ol' crusty stuff in the afternoon, 'Blackhawk Mall' on Saturday.
There are other options I'm looking at too, all in all, I would say enough to keep busy for the tour here.
Speaking of tours, also plenty time to start planning my world tour 2010. Starting in Iceland, so far the cities are..
Reykjavik
Oslo
Stockholm
Helsinki
St Petersburg
Oslo
Stockholm
Helsinki
St Petersburg
Istanbul
Damascus
Tel Aviv
Riyad
Moscow
Mumbai
Hong Kong
Bangkok
Ho Chi Minh
Manila
Melbourne
Sydney
Auckland
Honolulu
Panama
Bogota
Quito
Rio
Buenos Aires
Santiago
---
Dept of Defense Banter for the day: 'People often consider if their lives have made a difference, Marines don't have that problem.' --- My hat goes off to these folks, I'd say they have the hardest job in modern day warfare.
Moscow
Mumbai
Hong Kong
Bangkok
Ho Chi Minh
Manila
Melbourne
Sydney
Auckland
Honolulu
Panama
Bogota
Quito
Rio
Buenos Aires
Santiago
---
Dept of Defense Banter for the day: 'People often consider if their lives have made a difference, Marines don't have that problem.' --- My hat goes off to these folks, I'd say they have the hardest job in modern day warfare.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
And I'll dance with you in Vienna I'll be wearing a river's disguise
I recall the gently rolling hills / mountains in Austria, and when I see them again I feel 'my heart will search no more.' Same thing with a lot of other aspects of life. Nothing like a war zone, long hours and a desert sun to put life into perspective.
Over here, ever yard is like the last 10 yards, like the 4th quarter, like the player playing with a cramp, like the Nascar with an engine that's missing a beat.
Catch Penny is here in a few days, and although I don't know them, I have the utmost respect for them already. I used to think the whole 'support our troops' was a bunch of rhetoric, and never gave it meaning outside of my kin folk, especially nephew Alex, now it takes on a whole new meaning. Reading through some of the jargon on that website really got to me, in the future I will almost always frame from a human standpoint and not one of ideology.
To me, the meaning of the whole 'why are WE (i.e. we who are actually here) isn't a political answer, it has to do with the execution of a task, the powers that be in a freely elected democrazy pull the make it happen card, and you got a lot of smart, dedicated, courageous people trying to scrap it out.
It ain't easy, it ain't glamorous.
What defines success? As my buddy said, USA and Iraq have a different measuring stick, what we see is failure could be seen as progress on their front. Often people have used the words 'foreigner' (not in terms of the band), but to describe people that aren't like them. In this land we are those foreigners, and it's painfully obvious every step you take.
Over here, ever yard is like the last 10 yards, like the 4th quarter, like the player playing with a cramp, like the Nascar with an engine that's missing a beat.
Catch Penny is here in a few days, and although I don't know them, I have the utmost respect for them already. I used to think the whole 'support our troops' was a bunch of rhetoric, and never gave it meaning outside of my kin folk, especially nephew Alex, now it takes on a whole new meaning. Reading through some of the jargon on that website really got to me, in the future I will almost always frame from a human standpoint and not one of ideology.
To me, the meaning of the whole 'why are WE (i.e. we who are actually here) isn't a political answer, it has to do with the execution of a task, the powers that be in a freely elected democrazy pull the make it happen card, and you got a lot of smart, dedicated, courageous people trying to scrap it out.
It ain't easy, it ain't glamorous.
What defines success? As my buddy said, USA and Iraq have a different measuring stick, what we see is failure could be seen as progress on their front. Often people have used the words 'foreigner' (not in terms of the band), but to describe people that aren't like them. In this land we are those foreigners, and it's painfully obvious every step you take.
Friday, May 15, 2009
i'd a danced like the queen of the eyesores And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well
groundhog day, really sank in to me tonight, that i won't have a free weekend for 6 months or so. putting it bluntly, it kinda sucks -- 12 hours a day 7 days a week are just words until you're actually there. the difference b/w this and a silicon valley startup is 12 hours of work doesn't mean mixed in with facebook, twitter, iphone, sushi and checking out the latest trends. it means work, sleep and a couple hundred yards of wiggle room. its tough on the mind, body and spirit, everyone here goes through it.
tired as an old diva is the state of mind, when i'm tired i mispell words all over the place -- layer one of societal paint was removed tonight, knowing that tomorrow is work, sunday is work, and the week starts all over again.
a strange and wonderful perspective is kicking in, a few weeks downs the road i'll have better definition, but where I'm at and why I'm here is a good thing that will only help me down the road. right now, not a lot of doubt, but like tenacious d would say, 'the road is f*ckin hard.'
absence will make the heart grow fonder: of the people in my life, the concerts i go to, the buffalo wings i scarf down, of the hot shower, or a quiet nights sleep.
i'm going to come back smarter, damn a lot smarter -- self enrichment at the cost of isolation in many ways, kinda like the count of monte cristo getting his learn on in prison.
the food is still damn good, but very impersonal, the best thing about mammas home cookin' is mamma.
the laundry service, STELLAR
the green beans coffee, TO BE DESIRED, the 4 shot expresso, PRETTY GOOD
the palace, DIRTY
the air, STINKY and sometimes SMOKEY
the people, still GREAT
did I mention a PESTERING HEAT?
tired as an old diva is the state of mind, when i'm tired i mispell words all over the place -- layer one of societal paint was removed tonight, knowing that tomorrow is work, sunday is work, and the week starts all over again.
a strange and wonderful perspective is kicking in, a few weeks downs the road i'll have better definition, but where I'm at and why I'm here is a good thing that will only help me down the road. right now, not a lot of doubt, but like tenacious d would say, 'the road is f*ckin hard.'
absence will make the heart grow fonder: of the people in my life, the concerts i go to, the buffalo wings i scarf down, of the hot shower, or a quiet nights sleep.
i'm going to come back smarter, damn a lot smarter -- self enrichment at the cost of isolation in many ways, kinda like the count of monte cristo getting his learn on in prison.
the food is still damn good, but very impersonal, the best thing about mammas home cookin' is mamma.
the laundry service, STELLAR
the green beans coffee, TO BE DESIRED, the 4 shot expresso, PRETTY GOOD
the palace, DIRTY
the air, STINKY and sometimes SMOKEY
the people, still GREAT
did I mention a PESTERING HEAT?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
hand out, faces that he sees time again aint that familiar
its a clash of civilizations, on one side you have players who see nothing but a finite game, played to win or to lose. on the other side, half play the same finite game, the other half play an infinite game, a game where winning is to have the factions play again.
such polarizations seem to never turn out well, so you get what we have here, helicopters choppin on the right, muslim prayer over loud speaker to the left. question is how many people on either side believe that there is something worth sacrificing for an ambiguously defined objectives on either side? how do you fight apathy, i think we have a hard time fighting it at home --
-- the smell of smoke in the air
-- the gap in between the lakes of the palaces, and the drought caused by this in the south
-- the setup here, i mean, wow
what pokes its head up from the ashes is what you have here, some are curious, some are profiteers, some are adventure seekers, some are marksmen, for most, it's their job.
somewhere in between all of this is a ripple that i have a hard time framing.
such polarizations seem to never turn out well, so you get what we have here, helicopters choppin on the right, muslim prayer over loud speaker to the left. question is how many people on either side believe that there is something worth sacrificing for an ambiguously defined objectives on either side? how do you fight apathy, i think we have a hard time fighting it at home --
-- the smell of smoke in the air
-- the gap in between the lakes of the palaces, and the drought caused by this in the south
-- the setup here, i mean, wow
what pokes its head up from the ashes is what you have here, some are curious, some are profiteers, some are adventure seekers, some are marksmen, for most, it's their job.
somewhere in between all of this is a ripple that i have a hard time framing.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
The daughter of the biggest big town banker He kept her like a princess I stole her like the Fort Knox gold
More bullet points until cohesive though can sink in --
- I haven't seen bigotry here, people, political, religious, etc -- the caricature I saw of the war fighter or those that support it has always taken a 'conservative' stance, I see the question framed differently here. The ant nest has been kicked, now you have the ants rebuilding the mound, In a way, I boil down the critical success factor in this endeavor as 'do the people of iraq want it enough,' then I think, that's not a fair way to frame the question, which brings, 'can these people handle what we are trying to give them,' that's the question. 21st century advanced citizenship with secularism is much more different than a 12th century theocracy. I see the disparity big time here
- Rollin' to the loo at night 100 yards after sleeping isn't fun at all, you can't go to sleep afterward, and I refuse to resort the 'the bottle' in the room.....at least as my mind stands now.
- Here its Spain hot and sunny, but add dust and dirt on top
- I'm finding much of my 'desert attire' that I brought with me isn't working very well. blisters on my feet, sunburn on the tops of my ears, taking less showers than 'i should', and fighting overdrinking / underdrinking water, all part of the equation -- i have to adjust, and change the way i percieve this life in general. for the next year i have to figure out how to 'become one' with my surroundings
- the chow halls here are like pinocco island of food, first day i had veal, then prime rib, the sausage gumbo, all grade A stuff, probably the caliber of what you'd get at a 5 star hotel back home.
- I know I'm going to come back to the states and see inefficiency and stuff taken for granted everywhere, from water in the showers and bathrooms, proximity and availability of stores, laundry, etc, etc -- its very efficient here, perhaps because of the abundance of money thrown at the problem
- the enlisted folks as well as the contractors are some of the best people i've seen at the table for a meeting -- same tired debates, but lots of creativity and though thrown into the equation, not a lot of 'brainstorming' goes on here, just pragmatism and decision making, and quick turnarounds.
- last night, two senior enlisted guys were outside the palace, playing covers of songs like pearl jam and weezer, this debunks the notion that all people here are kid rock toby keith loving war mongering rednecks
- fundamentalism and sensational here are shokingly absent (except for the morter lobbers outside the camps). when bad news hits about a soldier taking the lives of 4 buddies then himself, the news back home has it on for days, taking a deep dive, here's there is empathy for the victims, and for each other, and mental support, at times its not plesant, but everyone's in it together here, and I'm finding that to be a strong bond
- eating, sleeping, working, exercising with the same crew all the time, something good has to become of it, never had to do it, i'll be blogging about it as it goes on --
- the crowd here is transient. just so happens the group i sat with at the dinner table last night, two captains, two contractors, will all be gone in 3 months, and new faces will be there. i'll have seniority on systems that i barely even know how to spell yet.
- on a 'down day' i'll walk at least 3 miles, some days i've been walking 5+, the body doesn't really per se sweat, but i can tell its taking a toll. trying desperatly to find sunglasses that look right on a fat head, so i don't come back to the states all squinty.
- lots of thoughts floating around, the uncertainty is sorta gone, but the funamentals of a routine haven't sank in yet, i'm told when it gets much hotter we can work through the night and sleep durning the day.
3.33 am, still can't adjust to the sleep patterns, I'm going to crash and burn this afternoon --
Special shout out to Praveen, the barista at Green Beans coffee hear, thanks for the twice a day quad shot Americano
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
and when you're lookin' for your freedom, nobody seems to care, and you can't find the door, no you can't find it anywhere
day in the life --
-- 4 am wake up, pushups, lots of them, leg lifts, lots of them
-- out the door by 5, breakfast at 5.20
-- watch mavs for 30 minutes in chow hall at breakfast
-- work at six
-- tinker around with environmentals for a few hours
-- 10 oclock meeting
-- 10.45 tea with the british multinationals
--11.15 spam america with email
--11.45 chow hall run
-- 12.15 hooked to the plow
--3 pm - 20 minute nap
-- work till 7.30pm
-- chow with team
-- go home 20 minute nap
-- volleyball at 9pm
-- 10 back at home
-- clean up get all the logistical stuff ready for next day
-- shower
-- do mini version of browsing what i used to (back down to the basics)
-- my kingdom for bandwidth
-- 20 minute call to mom in the state @ 3 bucks a minute
-- hit the sack
-- do it all over again, except that time between 8-10, that will change up a little everyday
-- 4 am wake up, pushups, lots of them, leg lifts, lots of them
-- out the door by 5, breakfast at 5.20
-- watch mavs for 30 minutes in chow hall at breakfast
-- work at six
-- tinker around with environmentals for a few hours
-- 10 oclock meeting
-- 10.45 tea with the british multinationals
--11.15 spam america with email
--11.45 chow hall run
-- 12.15 hooked to the plow
--3 pm - 20 minute nap
-- work till 7.30pm
-- chow with team
-- go home 20 minute nap
-- volleyball at 9pm
-- 10 back at home
-- clean up get all the logistical stuff ready for next day
-- shower
-- do mini version of browsing what i used to (back down to the basics)
-- my kingdom for bandwidth
-- 20 minute call to mom in the state @ 3 bucks a minute
-- hit the sack
-- do it all over again, except that time between 8-10, that will change up a little everyday
Monday, May 11, 2009
Down in the valley a choice has been made a new reputation, it sleeps in your bed like you said: it never was better than how it was
4 hours sleep first night, tonight almost 5, things are getting to 'normal'
-- work is good
-- chow is amazing
-- intangibles surreal
The camaraderie is something I've never quite experienced, I know I'm going to come out of this with some lifelong friends.
-- The dust is brutal, everything is dirty
-- You see the best and the worst of the human spirit here
-- You see many people grinding it out
You have to bring integrity and responsibilty to an endeavor like this, because it's not going to find you here.
-- work is good
-- chow is amazing
-- intangibles surreal
The camaraderie is something I've never quite experienced, I know I'm going to come out of this with some lifelong friends.
-- The dust is brutal, everything is dirty
-- You see the best and the worst of the human spirit here
-- You see many people grinding it out
You have to bring integrity and responsibilty to an endeavor like this, because it's not going to find you here.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Every day I wake up and it's Sunday Whatever's in my head won't go away
In the last 24 hours, Tampa to DC to Kuwait to Baghdad.
- Gryphon Air I was nervous about, but turned into being a really 'nice' flight to Baghdad
- Met 3 people enroute, one medic heading south, one security guard heading south Baghdad, and one teacher who is working to integrate people and teach them modern stuff
- My room is small, spartan but enough to suffice and keep it all good for a while, my roommate is an older gentlemen from Korea that's very friendly
- The surroundings are beautiful / surreal
- It's dusty and dirty
- Saw a Becks beer bottle, after closer look, non-alcoholic of course
- I've already been signed up for a dodge ball tourney next Sunday
- There seems to be plenty for moral
- 3 of my coworkers picked me up at the 'airport'
- Throughout the night I'm hearing sounds that I've never heard before, planes, etc, etc
- flying over the 'outskirts' of Kuwait City reminds me of Tatooine, the other parts of the city look very modern and exciting. Flying over Baghdad things look very impoverished.
- The smell isn't all that great
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Birds beneath my window dustying their wings upon the lawn I hear them in the morning light giving last amen to a migratory song
Last post from the US of A for a while, heading to partake in a risk / reward scenario overseas. What to bring, a good attitude at the least.
With a belly somewhat unsettled and an open mind, I can see a decoupling of societal constructs, it'll only do me well.
The mind always imagines things worse than it actually is, here's the worst of my imagination shining through
OR, you can take the experience life has given you and choose to enjoy that experience. You can build / morph true feelings, true experience, bonding and reverence. You can make it a time to leave the distractions behind and see what really lies in the core.
I'll be blogging more, I'll have more time to think, I want to catch a rhythm, I want to make it good.
With a belly somewhat unsettled and an open mind, I can see a decoupling of societal constructs, it'll only do me well.
The mind always imagines things worse than it actually is, here's the worst of my imagination shining through
- Having a sloppy / snoring roommate
- Eating bugs for dinner
- getting shot at or riding helicopters
- not 'fitting in'
- getting hooked to the plow and working your butt off relentlessly
- living 'groundhog day' over and over
- 750 yards of roaming space
OR, you can take the experience life has given you and choose to enjoy that experience. You can build / morph true feelings, true experience, bonding and reverence. You can make it a time to leave the distractions behind and see what really lies in the core.
I'll be blogging more, I'll have more time to think, I want to catch a rhythm, I want to make it good.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Out on the Desert and I'm Feelin' Lost, The Bonnet Wears a Wire Albatross, Monster Ballads and the Stations of the Cross
Today begins a new journey, or as Monty Pyton would say, 'and now for something completely different.' I've always talked about perspective, but find myself staying in my mental 'safe' zone.
The more you look, the more you realize the facts are so far removed from our 'civilized' and advanced societies that everything is abstact, everything is personality and emotion based, and things seldom appear to be as they seem.
I think of 'the core' of your soul as the ball, and society has washed layers apon layers of 'crap' on you, new adventures, perspective, SELF-enrichment and a sky full of stars in a open desert will wash away these layers, leaving the core visible, malleable, discoverable, approachable.
The journey of self discovery starts with a step, for years to come, drunken steps, back and forth, 5 - 10 years from now I'll have the walk of life down to a T, with a balance of perspective.
State of mind is an open book and a blank page.
The more you look, the more you realize the facts are so far removed from our 'civilized' and advanced societies that everything is abstact, everything is personality and emotion based, and things seldom appear to be as they seem.
I think of 'the core' of your soul as the ball, and society has washed layers apon layers of 'crap' on you, new adventures, perspective, SELF-enrichment and a sky full of stars in a open desert will wash away these layers, leaving the core visible, malleable, discoverable, approachable.
The journey of self discovery starts with a step, for years to come, drunken steps, back and forth, 5 - 10 years from now I'll have the walk of life down to a T, with a balance of perspective.
State of mind is an open book and a blank page.
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