Driftin' Upward Gently Lifting Lazy on the Wind, Rollin' Over Turnin' Slowly Beginning and the End

Goin' thru the motions, evolution slightly greater than zero, I know, repetition, but I love that.

Mr Dressed Up today, the nicest I've been dressed in years, and it's not even dressed up....I could get used to it.....NAW....no, really I guess I could. And the charade goes on......so tell me a bit about yourself?.

Laster (I mean later, yea I know I made lots of those errors in the blog) in the day, me and Bob and my nephew Al meet up at CABELLAS (or however you spell that, its your one stop shopping for all things redneck) for a bike ride.

Here Al is pictured with one of the million dead, slaughtered and stuffed animals on the wall. What a sharp well rounded guy! Sorry in advance for clumpin' you with the poetry below!

Tonight its been a healthy dose of The Toadies and T.S. Eliot. During my 20's I'd say I pissed a significant amount of time away reading poetry, hasn't helped my 'advancement' in society, but I don't think I'd trade in the thoughts burned in my head for a fatter wallet.

T.S. Eliot was my favorite, I sat down and re-read this tonight, and it sent shivers up my spin, b/c I remembered the time and place I first read it, what was going on in life and love and the daily grind, even in the darkness it is what gave me a nice dose of peace. Boy would my old English teacher Lena B. be proud.

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question …
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
[They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”]
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
It is perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?

Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

And If Life is Really as Short as it Seems, Then Why is the Night so Long

It's been about about 8 months now since I've invaded my sisters house and nephews bedroom, while entertaining romantic notions of 'anything but where I currently' am, could be stirring ambition, or it could just be that I'm not happy with myself, or probably a mixture of both. Something's gotta give, as always chance favors the prepared mind, that's what I've been doin' these days, joggin' the mind, even though it'd rather be chuggin' a Guinness.

Mr Smarty Pants says sometimes you have to fail to succeed, and this maverick says if you can't offer an honest opinion, say nothing. I agree with both.

There's no Scooba Steve, but the toys in the tub remind me of the days of innocence, when I had the battleship and other toys. I love watching young folks figure things out for the first time, stunning revelations to them, and a wonderful way for us adults to stay in touch with childhood.

I'm going to miss the days here, but my nephew needs his room back, and I need to start working on my rock garden.

Two Drifters Off To See the World, There's Such a Lot of World to See

Often times I ask people, 'What is your favorite song?' More often than not I'm met with the answer, 'well that ones too hard, I have too many favorite songs.'

When I'm asked this question, I usually answer with 'Moon River' of course, the amazing tune by Henry Mancini. The song captures a magical essence. I've never seen 'Breakfast at Tiffany's', although it's on the 'to do' list.

Just check out this beautiful woman's version of this gem.

You Chased the Sun Around the Cote d' Azur, Until the Light of Youth Became Obscured

Some things are just way too beautiful for words. Yea I walked along the Seine River in Paris many moons ago, and if I would have saw this street performance, I could have just died and gone to wherever. Reminds me of the Bryan Adams lyric, 'Baby, thought I died and gone to heaven.'

These people have fun, that's really what its all about.

Another heavenly site, comes straight from Dublin, two of my heroes on the same stage at one time, Neil Hannon singing 'B*tches Ain't Shit' with Ben Folds. One of my buddies mom's HATES it when she hears this song on pool nights, its so funny. Funny little C-Am-Em tune to play on the guitar too.

Love it when Ben says, 'All the children sing,' and Neil says things like 'whatever that means', and 'what's a proton'. PERFECT :) Another 'baby, thought I died and gone to Heaven' youtube. Such an 'evil' song done is such a satirical way, absolutely beautiful. :)

Havin' Her On My Brain's Like Gettin' Hit by a Train, She's Gonna Kill Me Oh Celeste, oh Celeste

Tonight we braved the elements of rain to watch the show at Stubb's BBQ. Amazing Texas weather, 1 minutes its HOT AND HUMID, the next minute, the trees look like they are all gonna blow over. Didn't matter for Steve and I in the 2nd row. We gave it a valiant effort, trying to wait out the rain, but eventually nature called, and we lost our spot, only to find.....

Some work friends, that are many pay grades above me and intense Old 97's fans. I learned a lot that night about the boys.

First -- Timebomb, was written for a 2nd grader. Rhett promised to play her a song, and he forgot, so he wrote this 'hit' as tribute to her.

Second -- Rollerskate Skinny -- Written about a date he went on with Wynonna Ryder, so funny.

Third -- He's from a proper and well established 'Texas Family,' no formal education, and other things.

Absolutely amazing all the time. If I were the frontman of a band, I'd have fun and 'market' myself just like him. Head bangin', jammin', offbeat random geetar strums, you name it, they've got it. How bout those big brown eyes, from the cheap seats.

You've got your pride, and a blue-steel '45, And you're waiting for the other shoe to Fall

Gearin' up for the perhaps rained' on Old 97's gig at Stubb's, and maybe a 'special seat,' I browse youtube and giggle at the calamity that surrounds the regulations or lack thereof of digital content.

Rhett makes lyrics like having a blue steel '45, just like the gangstas!

The cat's out of the bag, might I suggest liberal and realistic laws, and a burger king application for many 'industry professionals'?

EFF is buttin' heads with the RIAA, MP3 blogs getting popular, file sharing runs rampent, and now, take a gander at this 'video' on youtube, all the comments, interaction, and how many times its been favorited.

Just how in the hell and who in the hell should regulate this??

I am One of Those Melodramatic Fools, Neurotic to the Bone No Doubt About It

What a topic, The Fountainhead brings it out of me, and Brea, I commend you for reading this, is an amazing book, spanning many complicated human elements.

Patience, courage, strength, balance, and going with your gut feeling is some of the stuff I can think of off the top of my head, and of course, I identify with Howard Roark. ;-) haha

Gut feeling, it tells me to never compromise that gut feeling, and if you don't, don't expect to win any popularity contests, don't expect to truly belong to ANY cliques, just become mechanical in objectivist though.

That all works fine and dandy on the topics portrayed in the book, even the oddball sexual encounters. It doesn't work with the vast flurry of human emotion however.

What it tells me, make the tough climb up the moutain of objectivist thought, look down that mountain at everything around you, meet people up there, and climb down to where you want to be, and compromise your principles where you see fit. Don't pull a Peter Keating and but find your happyland somewhere in between these two protagonists.

Also, everyone wants to identify with the hero in the story, I identify with him, but I lack the innate talent, I have to work at this, I'm passionate and somewhat intelligent. I'm not that selfish, and I don't have THAT much courage, even though on the courage-o-meter I think I'm pretty high up there. The thougths in the book, great place to set the bar.

Balance, if you see the world as a mathametical equation that has to stay balanced, ellsworth toohey, domique and peter and most of the rest of the population have to band together to even try to keep up to the worth of Roark, and to an extent, that's inspiring. Roark goes directly to the top, fights and wins that battle, and the rest trickles down.

Character development, great, each character struggles with their own set of well developed vices, and it all meshes together, and you can see it in society and relate based on your perspetive, perceived self-worth, and the amount of work you put into life.

Mohon, my buddy told me the quote evolution must be slightly above zero, and for the most part, this is how a comfortable society operates. Swimming upstream.....we'll see where it goes.

Life to me right now is about learning, listening and growing, a phase change, letting the underlying tone in me be about songs of love, but tooling my life to a more practical reality in many respects, and chewing like hell the nuggets of incite, perspective, intelligence and wisdom of adult situations the world throws at me.

Where do you go to find human motivation AND human passion in it all? I hope to be there one day.

Is It Too Much To Demand I Want a Full House and a Rock and Roll Band

Sittin' here at Flightpath, piggin' out on some Pee-can pie and a mango smoothie, waitin' for Mike P to play ketchup on our MCPD studies, listening to Shatner, I'm catching up with random correspondence and random web surfing.

Searching for psychohistory, I came upon a nice graph that describes the evilution of societies and individuals. I would say this is a pretty accurate accessment of things.

I can vouch for all of them in my life cycle except abandonment, and I've had strange phases of ambivalance, but I wouldn't quite call it that.

Laika Flew Through the Inky Blue, 'Til Laika Neared the Atmosphere and Laika Knew, Laika's Life was Through

Laika, I love reading about stuff like this, simply because it crosses so many disciplines. Laika was a dog sent up into space, and was the first living creature to prove that living creatures could live in outer space.

1. I think that would have been AWESOME to live during the space race, a time where vessels that explored the great beyond were reflective of societies achievements.

2. Wonder if PETA would let that happen now, what rights would the dog have, and the ethics of it all in this day and age. It reminds me of when Ali G asked 'Do'z you'z thinks that FOX woulds like his skin to be'z on P' Diddy'z back during his world premiere video?' to an animal rights activist.

And then there's always Billy Bragg's ironic sentiments on outer space in the song 'A New England' -- Wonder if wishing on space hardware actually makes your dreams come true??

I saw two shooting stars last night
I wished on them but they were only satellites
Is it wrong to wish on space hardware
I wish, I wish, I wish you'd care

Cause the Ride Home is Long, And the Birds Will Sing a Song

Kid Theodore's I am a Moth....occasionally a song comes along that touches the heart of a cynic, and makes you wonder, where and how did he pull that one out of the air.

It's a gem, I marvel at it's simplicity and uplifting nature.

When it's all said and done, it's all about the song, when the band, industry, gigs, etc have all gone home, the song remains the guiding light. This one is the lantern on the jagged coast.

Just ask most people who sings 'Brown Eyed Girl,' and see how many actually know the answer.

------------------
'These Streets', Paolo Nutini is a grand tune too...

Stumble Across Another Poor Old Soul from the Dreary Old Lanes to the High-Street Madness

Paolo Nutini and Casey Dienel are occupying my time tonight as I try like hell to find part two of this graph.

David Byrne gave this presentation at SXSW about record companies, here's the 'old model,' then he put one up of the 'digital aggregate model', and I can't find it for the life of me. There's a lot of merit in expanding this model and predictions on 'future models', putting an interactive wrapper on it, and seeing if it flies, or sticks, or whatever.

With Your Big Brains, and Your 'Know How'

Diggin' thru my old college SHIT, I found a nice paper that one of my favorite CS teachers gave us back in the day as a class, which further influences my disdain for academia.

Here it goes .....

Things you Didn't Learn in School
By Bill Gates

For college graduates, here is a list of things you didn't learn in school. In his book, Bill talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a full generation of people with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in 'the real world.'

Life is not fair; get used to it.

The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

You will NOT make a lot of money right out of school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone, until you EARN both.

If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He / she doesn't have tenure.

If you mess up, it's not someone else's fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Your school may have done away with winners and loser, but life hasn't. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. The doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Television is NOT real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one (and they are the ones who come back to the school reunion rich and famous!)

motoring -- what's your price for flight

Not Hammer Time, It's Easter Time. And no, I didn't wear a gay a$$ pastel shirt either.

A little somethin' somethin' creative on my sisters part, the 'bunny tracks' leading to the fireplace that yields EASTER BASKETS!

The usual 'hunters' Kman and Collin, posed after the eggs were all found, except for a few I found tonight, because I was hungry for a bite size snickers bar or two. :) --- And yes, my neighbors other car is a tractor. :)

The hunt even brought kman into the backwoods, behind the shrubbery, yea, I don't think the 'human easter bunnies' weren't ambitious enough to hide them back there!

The 'funnest' part of the day for the kiddos is smashing the eggs on our head, with ME being their favorite. I guess they like it because it makes such a clean impact on my bald head!.

Finally I got the approval to put a picture of my brotha Gery and his girlfriend Jamie on the blog....Well, WELCOME TO THE BLOG :)

How bout some 'playboy bunnies' next year? Hell, if Weezer can have em' in a video, why can't we have em' in Shiner.?

We Questioned Religions, Fed Bread to the Pigeons, We Learned How to Pray

Today we celebrate Easter. The cynic in me says, what does the Easter bunny have to do with it all, and why do we as society take 'special' occasions and dilute their meaning, especially when it comes to organized religion. Kids is why I suppose, It's always fun watching them hunt Easter eggs, I recall last year my nephew Kyle smashed one on my head, he loved it.

The ol cliche says, 'there are no atheists in foxholes', my rebuttal, don't get in a fox hole. However, the point is made when thinking about the benefits of spirituality. I've always thought there are 'crutches' in the world, crutches like significant others, and the existence of a higher power, etc. These things are normal, but when you're swimmin' upstream on these issues, one could view them as crutches, a finely tuned jealousy as the manics would say.

Point is, there are voids in your life that can only be filled with spirituality. If you've ever looked into someone's eyes you cared deeply about and saw fear and uncertainty about the future, this can only be combatted with the answer that lies in the clouds. If doubt creeps in with these other factors, its 3 strikes you're out.

What do I believe, in a nutshell, reincarnation, a means that says life recycles itself in ways known to us, yet unknown to us, and I believe it to be pretty simple. I think it covers 'just enough' of my psychological needs of morality, respect, certainty, and hope for an afterlife. Does it carry on with it a soul, I guess that just depends on your definition of what that is. If you define soul as energy, I certainly believe that.

Maybe I wasn't a cat in another life, but I do think there is some sort of correlation between my heroes and friends in today's life, and how there was a bond between this energy in a previous life. I like Bon Jovi for a reason, same with Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Michael J Fox, and others. Perhaps we were best friends, cousins, neighbors or even brothas in a different life.

Today, as we celebrate an organized religious event, the only part I can really 'bash' is the organization. Religion ('the search for truth') and spirituality (what happens after worm food) are of the utmost importance to consider and respect as the years go by and your life is enriched.

So, hats off to the Easter bunny, and let's hope the global warming (or cooling) lets off for today so we can have a decent egg hunt!

I'd hammer out danger -- I'd hammer out a warning -- I'd hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters -- All over this land

That's it, that's all that's been on the 'entrance' to my bathroom for the last couple of years, a nice screen. No privacy, no 'odor controls,' not the most favorable of experiences when using the washroom.

Thanks to the Cowans -- Jason, Bob, and Garret, we now have a door, equipped with privacy and all.

Time to go check out the new bathroom, If I'm not out in 30 minutes, send someone in after me!...

Telephones Make Strangers Out of Lovers, Whisky Makes the Strangers All Look Good

Tonight the Beast and I made track to Moulton town to meet up with Manuelabor. Always nice hanging out with Manuel. It was pointed out that his name is 'Manuel,' not Man-Well, as I've been pronouncing it all these years.

I will also make a broad-general comment that this area is TOXIC for nightlife, absolutely TERRIBLE, and I'm one step closer to boycotting going out in this area FOREVER, yea, I'd rather sit and home and re-lace all of my tennis shoes.

I've found over the last month I've had the best times curling up with a good book, or random geeking out on the inter-web. Friends....how bout a beer at the house from now on, we'll thank ourselves at the end of the day.

Once There Was a Time I Could Find Pretty Words to Sing

Nate Dogg, an Army Man --- I wish you love and wish you well buddy.

And When I see Mr Frump in His Iron Lung, This is What I Hear Him Say

The Trek 1500, family, don't even ASK what I paid for this, but put it this way, I got it on a 12 month interest free payment plan, and the frame and components are going to last longer than me. Just look how few spokes in that wheel, it boggles my mind how it holds my fat a$$ up.

You have to put a 90 mile bike ride into perspective, every like bit helps. For common folks, this is pretty hardcore, in the perspective of things I guess its pretty 'sissy,' but I sorta see it as a 'rite of passage' into bike manhood. I plan on doing sever rides like this over the years. Why? It's actually nice to experience all 5 senses on the open road, and you catch things you wouldn't under other circumstances.

I also bought some shirts with extra padding, they feel GREAT on a hard bike seat, but when walking.....well, it feels like you are wearing a soiled diaper.

There's a rest stop every 20 miles on the bash, or gasp, or whatever they are calling it this year, and hopefully yall wonderful friends / family of mine will meet me at the stops for some moral support. I'll post the route soon, it's a beautiful stretch out in the backwoods of Texas.

Then some skinny b*tch walks by in some hot pants and He's Runnin' out the Door

This is a song for the fellas, but ladies, listen up! Javis cocker has something to say to the gal in the back of this taxi, while he accidently runs people over. Boy do I love the British gals accent when she says my favorite word 'whateva.' Boy do I like the geekiness factor.

Sure does remind me of driving my under the influence brit friends home one night, shifting with left hand, driving on the 'wrong' side of the road, roundabouts and all--

Behind Window Bee, Explaining Patiently How She Needs to See Six Forms of ID

What can I say, I LOVE POP MUSIC, in an underground sorta way, the stuff that gravitates to me is stuff like this new Fountains of Wayne album, its just so damn good!

Tonight I went out to an Austin Music Mixer, lots of cool people, and a very eclectic mix, and not to mention the best crawfish po boy in town at Shoal Creek Saloon.

After that, I met up with some buds to discuss doing an 'interactive website' for next years SXSW festival to score us a badge, in the coming weeks I'll blog about some of the ideas I got runnin' thru the head, but lots of the inspiration comes from this dude's talk at SXSW.

Well there's my what did I have for dinner post? Did anyone have a good meal tonight?

When We Arrive Sons and Daughters, We'll Build our Homes on the Water

I'm keepin' up with Berlin these days, even if I never will live there, I think its one of the coolest cities in the world, and probably my favorite of anywhere I've been. I like to hear the translations of bands like the Avocadoclub, it reminds me much of how the lead singer of the Scorpions knew little English while he was rockin' America like a Hurricane.

I've always had an affinity for history, and for high places. This, taken from the TV tower at Alexanderplatz in East Berlin, brings warm and fuzzy memories. I've been to Berlin a few times, and I love just sitting in the area which once was the busiest part of the east. The circle on the left has a waterfall with the devil in it, and the circle on the right has a bunch of postmodern art. Yea, just turn your monitor 90 degrees counter clockwise.

The people of Berlin have character, at least that's the vibe you get from walking around. It's cool to see the regional rivalries that exist between Berlin and Munich, I guess sorta like an LA vs New York. Berlin is a perfect example of the clear cut 'winner' between communism and capitalism, and it remind me of a Teaching Company lecture I once spent an insane amount of time studying.

The Decemberists, yea, a rock band, but also a band of nobles and intellectuals who attempted to overthrow the Czar at the time. Fantastic tales of a history of humble peasants, an expansionist and militaristic government, peasants get shit on all thru history, communism takes over, then shits on nobles and oligarchs, and then the communists eventually get the shaft, which leaves a blurry form of capitalism, in which the 'mafia' and 'cartels' control a lot of the commerce, and yet the new 'czar' plays favoritism. Ahhh, Russia, a fascinating place. Please don't quote me on these facts, but I think this is for the most part how it went and goes, in a massively general way.

Germany on the other hand, I've asked the question, how long for 'reunification' to take place, and I get the answer many times over 'several generations.' Meanwhile, a lot of fascinating cultural 'things' are taking place there, in my opinion making it tops for understanding the cultural elements of how government, economy, religion, etc affect human lives and motives.

Well, that's it, my nostalgic ramble for the motherland.

Standing with my back to the wall minding the sky as it's falling all around me

Listening to the existentialist debate rage on in Mason Jennings latest work, and the elegance of Nellie McKay (who's much better live than portrayed on cd), and hearing sentiments of my brother in law, I've come to see how life works in cycles. When its bad, it can get really bad, when it's good, it can get REALLY good.

Life is surely in a trough at the moment, for no matter how I try, I can't get those cycles in the head to conform with the world around me, and as I know its only a matter of time for the upswing, I'm constantly reminded in actions of my stagnation from all the close friends around me, not by words, but those facial expressions that show 'suck it up hero' looks.

I try to figure out what's not tickin' up there that makes me perpetuate a self defeatist attitude. I do that with my professional life and personal life to an extent and wonder, hmmm, what self help book can I get go help me figure this one out, but then again it always comes back to the answer lies inside of me, and perhaps I'm STILL not old enough to accept it. Mother nature is forcing me to except the fact that I can't party like a rock star anymore, and friends climbing further up the ladder of success fires up that competitive nature in all of us that says, damn, I don't want to be left behind.

Problem is, 'success' always comes at a price, and it surely comes down to what eggs do you want to put in what basket. Parts of me feel guilty and apprehensive of a pending fat salary increase, for I'm like, what makes me deserve this, and what are my responsibilities and what do I have to sacrifice in wake of these news responsibilities.

What is the key to happiness, in my case, I have no idea. I know I'm a passionate idealist, and I think for folks like that, it takes a long time for things to click in any direction chosen, and whatever direction chosen, the decision more than likely isn't going to be good enough.

So where does it all end me up? Right here, right now (as Jesus Jones) would say, I'm where I need to be, and I'm going where I need to go, just following the impulses, thoughts, predictions, and guts, and I have no idea where that is going to lead me, but I'm sure its going to be something exciting :)

a bird in the hand is worth a bird in a cage is worth a bird on a telephone wire

Daniel Fric of Shiner, one of the first friends I remember having back in elementary school, you know, the kinda childhood friendships that makes you gravitate to the same crafts table or what have you back in the day. Today was his day in the spotlight as he got married in Sweet Home Texas, and had the post wedding bash at Turner Hall.

It's a thing with Shiner folks gettin' married, you show up the the hall around 6pm, a lot of people are already 'tipsy' off the free beer, and before the meal, its quite and interesting time. The highlight of the night was seeing a bunch of my class of 95 comrades, seeing what's changed, what hasn't, etc.

Thru the course of the night, I took a few 'where's baldo' pictures, first one being with Ryan and Marty, college roommates / great friends, and CJ, an old troublemaker, one whom in 6th grade told the band director he 'accidentally farted' in the background, and that's what was making the entire percussion section of the bandhall laugh.

Then there's Scott and Bob Werner, Bob I haven't seen since he turned vet and moved to Navasota, but he talks care of the sick animals and loves his profession, and Scott, well, when he's up to bet on some pool, he knows where to lose his money.

Another successful evening

We've Run with Wolves We've Climbed K2 Even Stopped a Moving Train

Mike and Laura P, in their new crib -- Congrats to yall! Nothing like watching mountain climbing expeditions in high definition brilliance.

Keystone, a stick in hand, and banana pants, you can't beat it.

White Collar Jobs

It's amazing how organizations treat their life blood like a commodity. Are we truly in the age where intelligent people are treated like cattle?

Are we blind to this?

It seems that in this day and age, there's a disconnect to 'ambitious' people who want to do things like travel and see the world, but yet don't mind being treated like sheep in the workforce.

Ghosts

Hmmmm, so how do I tie Greenday and haunted houses together?

I met the boys from Greenday in 97'ish, got my shoe and ticket stub signed, after they put on a brilliant show, the entire catalogue has been blarin' tonight as I catch up on the overhead of life, which for me is actually washing clothes, and eating something semi-healthy.

My niece and nephew say my house in Shiner is haunted, and I've have to start agreeing with them. Strange things happen every now and then, I guess it's your typical house built in 1925, lots of history, lots of creeks, lots of dark corners, etc. The windows also reflect back, reminds me of Poltergeist, which big time creeped me out as a young lad.

Ghosts, hmmm, maybe there are ghosts. I've heard they only visit sensitive people, which begs the question, why are they around me? I guess I'm sensitive. Doc once described me as people the most sensitive and insensitive person he's ever met all in one stroke. I tend to agree with that, as I live by the gospel of Yin Yang. I've heard a few times that I need sensitivity training, I say people just need thicker skin.

Ghosts are welcome, I don't mind them, I don't think they necessarily scare me, as long as they aren't Ghost Snakes.

A Portfolio Pregnant with Gains, He's Been up All Night Moving the Goalposts

I'm not suffering from a lack of content in my head, just a way to organize it all. I thought about it for a moment and was like, this blog is loosing momentum, perhaps it is, in this context. It's getting too hard to stay personal in the blogosphere, too many friends, family, perspective employers, etc read this, so I'm not as quick to curse, put crazy pictures, and its hard to put an imitation of myself out there.

Where does it go then? Well, I'm still pondering that, shall I write about music, shall I write about my profession, should I write about random musings about life, man its just all complicated, but I'm going to continue to write, about something, nothing, hell I don't know.

It's hard to make life seem not mundane, and I've been able to spin my life to seem exciting, not the OC or Scrubs exciting, but much more exciting on paper than it really is.

I've come to a saturation point when it comes to my personal life, and I feel as if I'm going to ween myself away from personal blogging, and 'sell out' and try to focus on a topic, perhaps with a bunch of other peeps, join a group or something like that.

I have no lamp post as a guide in what to write. Organized media is a cash cow that focuses on stupid stuff like Anna Nicole and politics to make money, I'm skeptic of the opinions and research represented in blogs, and things like music and art, well, I'd rather just look and listen instead of reading.

What's on the horizon, we'll see.....

Irony

Some introspection for Sunday night. It turns out that for the last however long I've been in the pursuit of irony in life, really without being able to put that into perspective until now.

I've been under the impression that it's what's cool, witty, intelligent and all the other things that most people aren't. This pursuit has left me tired and scatterbrained.

In times of doubt, I have to return to the 'base', and realize that it's not irony that makes me cool, but rather my own internal set of beliefs and values, and this is what draws the right people into my life, in the future I will have to constantly remind myself of this fact.

Regardless of how much fun and cool I think it is, the continued pursuit of a more and more ironic life will only lead me to more confusion and infantilism about people and events.

Vanity Takes the Dog for A Walk

You know the whole, keep a plant alive, keep an animal alive, find a girlfriend, well, in my life, there are several precursors to even the plant. This joke isn't funny anymore, time to turn the worm into a butterfly.

Can't even think about vanity in the form of 'walking cool looking dog to get chicks attention' yet.

Here's a Man Aware of his Defects, Such a Sensitive Soul such a Rebel

If there could be a song to capture the worry, scatterbrain, uncertainty, hope and conceit that at present exists inside me, this has it down to a T, none other than Sondre, such a beautiful yet sad song.

Tragic Mirror

Here's a man, his own tragic mirror
capable of such crimes he is scared
to look at himself too long at a time.
Here's a man, his own wrapped up worry
thinking he will do wrong very shortly.
The answer remains locked up in his head.

And charity plays a game with your head
it gets to you now, it gets to you now
and charity plays away with your head
it gets to you now, it gets to you now.
Somehow you've got to smarten up
and act like nothing's ever gonna break you
break you, break your mirror in two.

Here's a man aware of his defects
such a sensitive soul such a rebel
capable of detecting his flaws.
Here's a man self righteous, self pitying
nursing losses and pain and inflicting guilt
that should keep them busy for days.

And charity plays a game with your head
it gets to you now, it gets to you now
and vanity takes your dog for a walk
it gets to you now, it gets to you now.
Somehow youve got to smarten up
and act like nothing's ever gonna
break you, break you, break your mirror in two.

Here's a man really worth the attention
so mature but so dumb.
In broad daylight the answer remains locked up in his head
it's blowing around somewhere in his head.

South by Southwest 2007, a Recap

Highs and the lows, wrapped up into one posting. It's the music festival that comes to Austin every year, and touts free BBQ and Miller Light to fans, 'industry professionals', bands, and lots of free tshirts and other goodies.

The panels are great, I got to see David Byrne put up some interesting graphs about the greed and beurocracy of the industry, and also of Britney Spears popularity demographics. I got to hear Pete Townsend compare the industry as it exists today as 'nero is playing the fiddle, and rome is burning'

I got to hang out with the usual crew, Mike D, Ashley came out every now and then, Manuelabor and Lacinator rolled into town one day, and other casual friends as well. It's always a reunion of sorts, admist the calamity around you.

I got to meet some great people, most noteworthy, a dude from the frosty north named Martin, an all around cool, calm, collected, cultured, computer geek, and also reconnect with Meghan, someone who I painted the town with some years back. I didn't bring the business cards down, but amoung the people I met that I plan to stay in touch with, a few lawyer types, a few record store types, and other random folks.

The day shows are spectacular, the night, well sucks. My visa card paid 425 bucks for the music badge, and I found myself not getting into venues I wanted to go to. I can't imagine how the owners of wristbands felt, when their 160 dollar band couldn't get them into half of what I was rollin' in. I talked to an 'industry professional' and his sentiments were, its not for the public, its a trade show. Well SCREW THAT, it's just as much for the fans as it is a 'trade show.' If you want to make it a pure trade show, jack the badge prices up to 1500 bucks, make the same revenue, have good bands play to 50 stiffs per night. I'd like to see how the elitist like hanging out with their type of 'like minded' people day in and day out. Next year, I will stick to the free food and beer parties, and actually sleep at night, I'll probably have a better disposition that way anyway.

Stamina, not a human being out there can go that hard for that many days in a row without it having an effect on their mood. In the thick of it, its hard to have the 'pace yourself' mentality, but for my old ass, I believe it to be essential.

One of my friends says its when Austin turns into Los Angeles for a few days, and the baggage that comes with a music festival of this sort includes industry people 'one upping' each other about how important they are, good or not so good intentions / empty promises, and the meatheads snorting 8 balls in the stall next to you in the pisser. The 'upper end' of the industry professionals have their eye on an illusive prize, which in the future will be distributed in the hands of where it should be, the artist. The 'lower end' of the 'industry' just hasn't had the time to let it corrupt them, my opinion about the music business.

For the fan and casual observer, its a riot, have beer, have bbq, go to shows, take pictures, and for the tourists, the event is off the hook, but as a local, I found myself frequently going off the beaten path for solice, meeting in places I'd know there'd be familiar faces, and looking outside going, whew, I can't wait for a typical weekend, where there's only 1/4 of the volume, but still volume and fun.

At the end of the day, I'm happy about the 45 million in revenue it brings to the city, I'm happy our mayor says our pro sports team is music and he will continue to fund it, and I'm happy I don't have to head back home to Wisconsin, Nebraska, Halifax, or any other city that needs something even 1 / 10th this 'cool' --- and despite my bitchin' and moanin', the grassroots stuff that goes on in Austin is like nothing else, and I'll continue to find ways to cherish it, as my exposure and perception of it changes.

Willy Mason at South by Southwest (SXSW) 2007

Neil, absent friends, here's to you my man, everytime I pop Willy Mason in the deck I think of the great times. Especially interesting was the fact Willy played in a church downtown, with amazing acoustics.

The video is dark, but the experience was surreal, in a packed dark church, music sounds amazing, and people sitting in pews. Welcome to the church of Willy Mason. For all you religious people out there, this is a GREAT way to evangelize, tolerate, what ever happened to that?

Check out the baptismal fountain in the forefront --

Mando Diao at South by Southwest (SXSW) 2007

Toshi, holla from Texas, the show wasn't the same without you, and during the slow tune below, I held the ligher up and out proudly in your honor, wish you could have been there, and I recall the great times at Emo's when we saw them when you were here.

High intensity band, I think they played 10 shows in 4 days, workin' hard for their living, gotta appreciate that.

Pigeon John at South by Southwest (SXSW) 2007

This post is for Marty and Ryan --- Man we gotta go see this dude sometime, he's OFF THE HOOK! For the hip hop averse, skip to the next post.

There was a song about 'getting even' with girls and stuff....he shook my hand and looked me straight in the eye on that song, it was crazy stuff dudes!

Sondre Lerche at South by Southwest (SXSW) 2007

Easily the biggest highlight of my South By Southwest 2007 experience was getting to see Sondre Lerche, not one, not two, but three times. One may say, why the repetition, well....

It's a tough world, the real world, especially in this sort of twisted world of indie rock and all the baggage that is associated with it, there's a few that hold firm on principal, he's one of them. Lyrics, his perceptions on life that I've read, and just a most of the time a generally good disposition.

First video taken from Antones, he plays amazing guitars, and for his 45 minute set, he played all his tunes except this one much faster, so he could play more, kudos, high energy and great time.

Then there's the Buffalo Billards afternoon gig, which was actually recorded for a radio show in Minnesota somewhere. When asked the question, 'What have you learned from opening for Elvis Costello?' -- The answer, 'I need to get out of the music industry' --- sad but true answer....a very smart lad. Super Sweet sunshine song :)

The Master Key To Riches - Happiness is All You Wanted

is knowing yourself, what you want, what you can acheieve, knowing how to push yourself, etc, etc, etc.

That being said, life is good, I really feel as if I know myself. Also, it doesn't hurt know that my mom is in good condition, chipper, lively, etc. The more I think about it, my happiness hinges on her happiness (the answer to all the critics questions of why I spend so much time in Shiner.) To me, she's the hub of immediacy in my family life, when gone, its a group of brothers and sisters....peers, which is great, but not the same. Most of the rest of the family has a new family, and that's awesome, but it gets me thinking more about the nuclear family, and as much as I want that, I truly don't think its in the cards for me, just chalk it up to personality.

I do know there are a lot of complainers in the world, and not too many problem solvers, there are too many people who are victims of something or another, and it's taken me this long in life to understand this simple concept, and of the mass populus who are 'victims', I've come to have absolutely zero tolerance.

South by Southwest is in our midst, its a big music festival, downtown Austin, you either get it BIG TIME, or you think is the equivalent of your perspective city's crappy music festival. I'm going to be out and about, getting my learn on about different things, and also catching many many many times 10 bands.

What's new, an ever evolving state of mind, and fortunately the current is one that's become strong and relaxed about the state of affairs and state of emotion that revolves around me at least. That's what it's all about you, the one who's got to wake up every single morning and be you. Awknowledging this truth makes me weiry of giving advice to anyone, in a strange sort of way on several scenerios, giving advice is a selfish thing.

Life has to run its course, I like blog reading, and I will attest to liking two types of blogs, probably equally. First type, the informative blog, which talks about all subject matter areas, why I like these is self explanatory.

Second, personal blogs. This bald headed microsoft dude that comes in every now and then always reminds me, you have to get the 50 yard line before you can see the goal. Well, personal bloggers who are of substance, and how are the troubleshooting, problem solving, figuring things out on the fly and also who have figured out how to write to a wide array of audience is well.....shall i say, once the goal line is realized.....we are 50 yards further than someone just out of the starting blocks.

Personal blogs are about self-enrichment more than anything I think, sure its informative, and I enjoy reading friends and family blogs to keep up with what's going on with them, and surprisingly, when I see these people who blog, many often say, damn, yall never see each other, and yet yall are still close. Well, If you're my friend, and plop something down in the blogsphere, I'll read it, especially on sujects where thought has been put into it.

More often than not I think about what it means to be successful, and self help book after self help book, over and over again keeps reinforcing postive influences on my life. Sure I read first time, understand, but I'm like yea yea. But I think the persistence has actually started to pay off.

I watched Joel Osteen the other day for the first time and maybe the last, (yea, and the Compact Center didn't combust either), and the message was simple, sometimes your dreams are bigger than the audience around you, and anyone can take that as they will, and could possibly learn from that, and awknowledge where the fly in the ointments are in their life, and realize the next steps they need to take in order to rise up in a different social level (not money-wise, but incite wise.) or both....hell

Monetary values, I've come to realize I have a ton of skills that I can't make money with. The movie Before Sunrise (ultimate make me sad and happy all at once chick flick) touches on this. It says when you grow up, you tell your mom you want to be a writer, mom corrects and says, you mean journalist, etc, etc, etc. Well there's a fine line between the banter of 'follow your dreams' and the practical reality of people following their dreams becoming hot dog stand vendors. One day I hope it just clicks for me, and I'm sure it will, before it happens, I truly have an understanding about what needs work in my life.

As times moves on, I'm now the 'old guy' in Shiner, and as I hang out with younger people in the community, I feel as if I'm not the old guy in terms of what people do, and how they succept themselves to the same routine over and over again, which is ok, but it's staggering the number of people that 1) complain like hell about it, or 2), are so oblivious about it, haven't seen a whole lot in life and don't have the desire to. I think its sad, but what compels me to do things is different from others.

I've always been motivated by the persuit of happiness, and never really understood the bad Aerosmith cliche of 'lifes a journey not a destination,' although its becoming much clearer. You take those stupid words to heart, I think it becomes more and more difficult to be pissed off about your current situation or state of mind. It tells me, don't like something, change it, but don't expect cloud nine, because whatever endeavor you choose, its hard work, and the fountain of youth is waiting there for people who work hard.

While on the subject of bad quotations, Matthew McConaughey's got a good one. He says, I try to get a good sweat going everyday, that's what keeps me in shape, or something of this nature. I take that to heart, especially on the weekend, when me and the beast feel like having a beer, we head down to the football field and try to bend it like beckham. My fat legs are actually good at kickin' the old ball around, and I AM getting a wicked bend on it. Other than that, I painfully count the time to stop-o-meter on the treadmill, and keep reminding myself this is good for me, this is good for me, and SO NUFF' I do feel good, I sleep much better, and the beer gut is slowly but surely going away. I must say its nice when this 30 year old pops sees a fat college kid, thinking, and damn, he / she even got metabolism workin' for them.

Well, enough random sentiments, I hope everyone is doing well. I hope life will slow down soon, no more curveballs, and I'll get to be on the road to see everyone soon. I'm looking for a new place, currently I'm looking at 4-500 square feet roach shacks in Hyde Park, but if anyone knows a good place, centrally located ATX, let me know, a roomate is also not out of the question, drama queens and pimp daddies need not apply.

Leaving yall with a quote in tribute of SXSW, from a long time hero of mine.
-----
“As I define it, rock and roll is dead. The attitude isn't dead, but the music is no longer vital. It doesn't have the same meaning. The attitude, though, is still very much alive -- and it still informs other kinds of music.” --David Byrne

There are Those Long Nights, There is this Good Love

Nothing earth shattering on my mind tonight, just watching youtube performances of this amazing dude.

Taken in a Church in Chicago just last month, a sweet acoustic performance, damn I wish I coudda been there.

I've Had the Same Jeans on for Four Days Now, I'm Gonna go to a Disco in the Middle of Town, Everybody's Dressin' Up, I'm Dressing Down

Hospitals, what can you say about them, many things, but lets just say I probably sway to the Patch Adams view of things.

When there are trying times, it's easy to put things into perspective, families bond, etc, etc, a beautiful / wonderful energy of support.

Perspective....I recall when my old man had stage 4 cancer when I was 15, I really didn't worry about the social pressures of being a teen....the parties, the drinking, if the girls thought I was cool or not, etc, but rather if dad was going to be ok tomorrow.

That influences you as a teenager, I suppose in good ways, and in bad ways other times. It was a good lesson in character, trial by fire, and it's up to me with what I do with the perspective gained from it all.

I often wonder, if dad would be alive today, would he approve of me, would he approve of the state of affairs, etc, and what would be different especially in my life if there was a father around in those years to 'crack the whip' on me.

I suspect it wouldn't be cut and dry, he'd like certain things, other things he'd be like 'what the hell.?' At any rate, I would have liked him to be around longer so I could have asked him the tough questions, and see what his responses would have been.

We Need Hints

And they were givin' by the doctor today, as he talked of strong German and Bohemian women.

A somber day at the Bruns camp....we find out today that mom has to have a surgery tomorrow, and a sleepless night makes me introspective about many things, life in general, the whole human element, and how to use this episode in life to spin positive change in my life, and I'll only speak to that in the blogsphere. I don't want to elaborate on her condition, but here are other points of general consideration.

Each person in life deals with adversity in their own way.....right now, I'm dealing with adversity by thinking, what can I learn from this, how can this be a binding agent, and what am I taking for granted.

I have learned so much from Mom, but the most important thing I'd like to gain from her is a fierce work ethic. She's the type that just moves the stone, she doesn't say she's too tired, or too busy, most certainly doesn't squander money of frivilious things such as concert tickets and bud light pitchers, and other things that are off the point.

Why is it that I'm only thinking of these things in times of adversity? The spotlight is currently shining on how much I lean on mom, how much I appreciate her, and the things I need to do to get many things in my life in order. It makes me cherish the weekend BBQ's, the deviled eggs, potatoes augraten, the spurs fan in her, round table discussions, and many other things I take for granted.

See, she's a smart woman, she won't be able to tell you about computers, the internet, international travel, or other difficult and boring professions, but she's of sound wisdom and spirit, and can offer practical and understandable and more often than not correct accessments on the state of affairs, not only in Shiner, but in the hearts and minds of anyone around her, and her sphere of influence is tremendous due to this.

I want to acheive this work ethic and practical wisdom, and I want to do it for the both of us, I want to do it for the family. I want to cherish every day I can see her, talk to her, spend time with her, and I want to talk about the good stuff, the stuff I need to catch up on, the stuff I need to know, and the things I need to awknowledge.

Balance is what I'm going to make a concerted effort to do, its what I need to be healthy. I'm lopsided on the 'non-domesticated' perspective of it all, and my inclinations lead me to believe that staying home and being happy, putting the laptop down at home and pickin' it up more at work, and most importantly, not as much thinkin' until the thinkin' ain't good.

Times like these really test one's muster. Our family has a strong bond, and I know this will draw us closer, as every individual hurts inside. The human element to anything, it's often forgotten (especially for me), and its times like these which make you sit back and put it into perspective, I would say it's a healthy time for everyone.

Please send Good Vibrations her way, I'll be playing my Theremin passionately thru the weekend.

silent diverted indifferent

the setting, crown and anchor pub, one of my favorites in austin, i'm sitting here with ashley, and she's doing an assignment for her writing class, she has to describe something.

i'm going to share her pain, tonight, i will write about inspiration, from none other than the crown and anchor bathroom, a place in which i spent many wobbly nights.

for the last HOWEVER long, i've read the graffiti on the crown wall, and there's a profound statement hovering in the 'main stall,' and the whole slogan I can't make out, but it's about religion, and other words include silent, diverted, divided, indifferent.

recently i heard a self help book that says 'religion divides, spirituality binds', and wow, what a message that is.

on the silent, diverted, indifferent part, its amazing when you look at society in large, and how many are afraid of what they don't understand, and steps they achieve to obtain 'comfort.'

luckily for society, there are plenty of diversions, even for the movers and shakers in the world who value self-enrichment without self-fulfillment.

oooo, ashleys topic, descriptive. I've sitting here, in the 'public' area of crown, many familiar faces, crusty old wooden tables, darts, great pub food, a 'rustic' environment, stacks of the austin chronicle and austin's latest arrival 'the onion' (which has great shirts by the way), free wifi, a nice pint or three of stella, nerds beside me talking about linux and open source, and yes, the bathroom, yes, the bathroom, with an elevated 'thunder mug' and the 'horse trough' most dudes piss in.

well that's my two cents for the evening, I stumbled in here tonight after an Austin Music Foundation event at the Gibson Guitar Center, where some really smart and cool dudes talked about music, go out and check it out wheneva.

ps -- my google toolbar spellchecker for firefox seems to have kept the formatting of what it thinks is mispelled words, and the words I had to correct because of mispellings.

that's enough rambling for the evening.

Fortune Comes a Crawlin, Calliope Woman, Spinnin that Curious Sense of Your Own

Pride and envy, the feelings I get when I open the inbox and see things like this. If you recall Toshi from way back when, well he's galavanding all over the world, currently working in India, and for his birthday this year Taj Mahal.

Toshi, what can I say about this guy, he cultured me a lot, and I miss his influence on my life, but I know one day I'll get to visit him in Japan, and we are going to eat all sorts of crazy stuff, and see all kinds of awesome things.

Nope, no photoshop here. There ARE a few people checkin' the place out.

Keep up the good work Toshi, next weekend I'll be in the EXOTIC Shiner, Texas! hahaha

Sweet Home Bama Bama!

Today me and about 10,000 other 'surrender monkeys' came out to watch Barack welcomed to Austin.

Why did he come to Austin?.... Considering initial predictions say the only votes from Texas he will get are probably the 10,000 or so that packed into Auditorium Shores. He came because a lot of the liberal Austin hippies have money, and they will probably be allured with his 'rock star' attitude.'

The typical pie in the sky health care issues, education, war were talked about, and a poke or two at Cheney as well.

Behind the rock star attitude is more, a sensible and and articulate person, however, it's probably too early in the game, (17 months out) to predict his tenacity. He says people say he's not had enough time in Washington (just as much as bush, maybe more), but says he knows enough about it.

Anyone that can awknowledge the trip ups, screw ups, fuck up's of what bipartisan politics has become and how it divides and angers people has got the 'first step' right in making change.

For the record, if the momentum holds, I WILL make a sweet home bama bama shirt and wear it out to my rural stomping grouds. Skynard meets Bama, it just may work!

And for all the PS2 playing pot smokers, here's a wakeup call.

--------------
"There is not a liberal America and a conservative America - there is the United States of America. There is not a black America and a white America and latino America and asian America - there's the United States of America." -Senator Barack Obama

We Can Blow on our Thumbs and Posture, But the Lonely is Such Delicate Things

Insightful, clever, intense, deep, happy, sad, depressed all rolled up into one? Meet your daddy, his name is James Mercer of The Shins. I'll spare the tributes to this wonderful band, let's just say that in the 1,000 of wanna-be's in the world of indie rock, this is the tallest blade of grass, and they got their by sheer talent, compromising nothing, selling out to no one. Music people who read this blog, I'll challange anyone on my sentiments that these boys are the voice of society's undercurrent.

The Paramount, Seattle, simply amazing to see a venue. Four stories, 3 balconies, and back to back sold out perfomances.

Someone told me once they didn't like The Shins because they sound too much like The Beatles, well damn, how would you LIKE them to sound like....Nickelback?? Again, lyrics lyrics lyrics.

Need something a bit more intense -- how about sophisticated and humble, genuine emotion, just the context of this clip would make me go out and buy this cd....buy buy buy!

Hats off to Viva Voce, the two piece outfit from Portland who put on a FANTASTIC show. Just check out how sultry and beautiful and elgant this chick is, as she thrashes this guitar!

OOOO, and somewhere in the course of the day, Roland and Mike D went to the EMP, and recorded a song, Roland on the drums, Mike D on the lead guitar, they are selling tickets for 60 bucks a pop.

Also, a pic of Rolando and I in West Seattle, situated right on the Pudget Sound with mountains in the background, absolute beautiful, just like that fat roll on my belly :) --!

Last but not least, the bar called Chapel, that used to be a morgue. Rumor has it that Bruce Lee was creamated here. Reguardless, a great atmosphere :)

Pardon the mispellings, my google spellcheck bar isn't working either :(

So, When They Tap our Mundane Heads, To Zombie-Walk in our Stead

What a trip to Jet City! Too bad its officially a week later I'm finally able to catch up. Where to begin, where to begin?!

Why not, how bout a picture of me with a beer in my hand, a Pabst Blue Ribbon to be exact. I equate this beer in taste and strange popularity with hip culture with our home sweet home (vomit) Lone Star.

That's my buddy Kyle and I, I met him seems like a thousand years ago at a Weezer show, we were both Radiohead fanatics at the time, and I see him about once a year nowadays. He showed us a great time, as he is known as 'urgoodtimeguide' to friends around him.

Rolando, at the last minute joins us from Los Angeles, as we are all devout Shins fans, and it's always great to have a 'guys weekend out.' Down at Pike's Market, where the seafood is fresh and the oysters are still gross, Roland spots a cheese store and purchases some homeade cheese.

Amoung the 'touristy' things we did was climb, not literally but in an elevator to the top of the space needle. Here's a picture of me and Mr photogenic up there.

When Kyle took the night by the hand, that's when the adventures began, first stop, the Rendezvous, a sweet little place that had a small 'theatre' in the middle, and a posh-ish 'party room' up top, the atomsphere was great, the lads restroom was labeled 'guns' and the dames labeled 'roses', kinda cool --- also there was a shuffelboard table about half the size I'm used to seeing.

Next was the Lava Lounge, and truthfully I don't remember the jist of this place, just remembered it was 'cool.'

The followup to the Lounge was a place called 'Shortys,' full of clown swag and the PINBALL COVE in the back.

Kyle wanted to beat this score on this game to 'show this chick up.' The score to beat, 88,000,000. Not only did he beat the score, but Pekard says he obliterated it!

Ok, after this, we went to a few seedy places near the market, a 'reading bar,' where people bring their books in and read and drink beer, which was kinda odd.

To end the Pike Market stint, we headed to a burleque show, had a few jugs of wine, listened to some great singers, and saw 'the mother of burlesque' in Seattle, a beauty who teaches it there. For more information, urgoodtimeguide now promotes rockabilly and burlesque.

Rounding out the evening we went to Pioneer Square, one of the many Sixth-Street-but-not-quite-Sixth-Street places in Seatown. Last place, Cowgirls Inc, the Seattle version of 'Coyote Ugly' Austin, but 1 million times better. We went obviously for the mechanical bull and that ride, but Kyle couldn't resist requesting some AC/DC and watching all the 'Cowgirls' hop on the bar to dance.

I couldn't resist the video.

Last of the evening the LONG WALK in the general direction of home, with a hotdog full of CREAM CHEESE, who would have thunk it, but VERY pleasing after a night of PBR, Manny's, Pike Pale, jager bombs and a nice jug of wine or two.

A strange mixed buzz, great times, lots of walkin', tremendous ground covered.

We're Outta Groceries Again, Ain't Got No Money To Spend, The Credit Card is Maxed Out....

Tomorrow me and Mike D hop a flight to Seattle, meeting Rolando from LA there, and hanging with with buddies Kyle and Sahala.

Let's see, Mike D's a Shins fanatic, so we are going to see them at the Paramount Theater, and we're likely to drive up to Vancouver, check things out there, and back by Monday. Presidents Day state holiday, gotta love it.

Hopefully you can take hair gel on the plane these days, otherwise they'll say, ummm, sir, you're going to have to check you toiletry bag.

Louise Only got from Me Innocent Poetry, Although She Played to not Listen

Calexico with Iron and Wine is what is jammin' thru the headphone at Epoch Coffee this evening. This place is the bomb, although I feel out of place without an IBook.


I really dig the 'f*ck off' Starbucks logo, not that I'm a hater, just like to see the 'mom and pop shops' getting the attention they deserve

Right down the street from this place are some condos I'd like to live in......, the only bad part they are overlooking an ash cemetery. :( --

What does one do at a coffee house other than socialize? Plenty reading about SAML and other wonderful things like this. Of course I have to check out all the social networking stops, too.

Well two double vanilla lattes later, I'm buzzin, time to go home, I think this will be a normal stop.

who could ever ever ask for more, love without complications galore

sure enough, a line from the Dresden Dolls....spent my evening at Room 710, snagged a video of the 'red teasers' aka my friend ashley do a hula hoop gig.

Poetry and Flowers Pretty Words and Threats

The day where everything turns red and capitalism cashes in. Whatever one may think of this day, whatever one may think of whatever they are in or not in, just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

Personally, after pigging out with the family on this lovely heart shaped masterpiece from Mangia, I'm happy.

Chips

What can I say? If it weren't for fine German Beer and chips, I'd be very fit. Have you ever stopped to think about how many times per day you are tempted with a nice tasty bag of chips? Even at work we've developed a NASTY habit of ordering 'chips and queso' before the meal.

Last Saturday, the beast and I went to Vtown to hang out, and at least 6 times, I was presented an option to get some chips, and finally inadvertently we went into Casa Ole, and once again, MORE CHIPS!

I've also heard just recently there was a 'History of Chips' documentary on the Learning Channel.

I have to be like Ben Steller in Dodgeball, the aversion techniques as it pertains to chips. When the chip nears my mouth, SHOCK!

Right Through the Explosion Display, Another Fine Outing, Pointing and Shouting, 'Look it's Baseball'

The something annual Shiner High School Alumni Baseball game, 2007, ahhh, what a pleasure to hop out there on the field again. It's as American as American can get, and I've always had a soft-ish spot in my soul for baseball, maybe I was a baseball player in a previous life.

Baseball is a great sport, just boring if you are an outfielder. Back in the day, when the pitcher would walk people, I'd get angry, start drifting, and then 'clink,' here comes the ball to wake me up the hard way. Yea, you could say I was in right field watching the dandelions grow.

Today --- everyone was announced, here's so and so, he's all state, batting average 700, here's so and so, he's a bada$$, here's 'Bill' state tourney this year and that. I was just waiting for them to announce me, this is Robert Bruns, he was a trouble maker and a $hit talker. Well, I could get a dugout worked up into a crazy frenzy, and that always was great fun.

Marty and Ryan, my two great buds and I shared the outfield duties in high school, and we dubbed ourselves 'Britches Boyz' == we even made shirts proudly bearing the slogan 'Nasty as we Wanna Be' on the back.

Well, a few more pounds on the waist, but still ready to 'play ball.' It sucked, I even got my Blackalicious shirt a bit dirty due to a head first slide into third base. In the midst of purple and gold, there's Mr Green Shirt.

Well, I didn't kill myself, and I even got a hit one at bat. The last at bat, some 16 year old struck me out --- 1 and 2 count, I knew the curve was coming and still took a grand slam cut at it, but to no avail.

To end the post, here's my top 10 baseball memories from back in the day, in no particular order.

One - Hitting a double against Mr East Benard, hopping off the bag, getting tagged out by the old hidden ball trick, coach gets angry, chews me out, then kicks a bag angrily all up on Marty.

Two - A 'professional' ball player came up to practice with us one day. I threw 3 whiffle balls out of the machine at Ryan, as we were horsin' around, only to be monitored by out coach, yea trouble for me again.

Three - Those damn Saturday double headers, sunburn and arm feeling like it was going to fall off.

Four - Dugout banter -- Chee Chee Pa Pa, Ditish, Big Whiffa, etc, etc, etc

Five - Some dudes on the team, after messing up, would either look at the bat, the ball or glove, as if it was the objects failure.

Six - Freezin out in the outfield, pitcher walking everyone, seemed like forever we were out there sometimes, and some of our pitchers disgruntled reactions, etc.

Seven - Britches Boyz would always go take down the flag after the game, and march back in with the 'Wizard of Oz' O-E-O- OO goin. -- damn that was crazy funny silly

Eight - Getting to practice 1 hour late, in my dorky white tennis shorts, getting 8 cuts on the field, about half of them 'yard', over the fence.

Nine - Being an 'intergral' part of the team, but when tennis starts, getting benched, but the last game of senior season, I got to start and and hit a bomb in Flatonia.

Ten - Teamwork, having a great coach / person teaching you the ropes, regardless of if I agreed or not.

From the Bible of 'None of the Above'

In regards to my 'name that blog posting,' my brother in law solicits my opinion on the following two questions. Six Warsteiners deep into the evening, I'll attempt to answer the questions.

Should Barack Obama's admitted drug use be an issue in the campaign? Will Barak's admitting to drug use, while Bush refusing to admit/deny the issue, foreshadow Barak being more open (than Bush) before taking unilateral action?

For clarification sake, I threw a little Clintox in the mix.
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To answer these questions, I believe that one must access their definition of morality. Let's see, the last two presidents, one committed perjury as it pertains to fellatio, and the other sent thousands of troops and civilians to die at 'war.'

In a race for morality, no one wins, which is why a political race should be ran with different criteria. People are paid big bucks to dig up stink on politicians in the information era, where every move you make is recorded, but guess what, no one is perfect, not even Jesus, for those of you who have recollected and read the Gospel of Thomas, which recalls stories of Jesus striking down a kid to death for tripping him. The moralists want to quote scripture, I might as well too.

Another issue to get past, is who lies and who doesn't, and the extent of holistic damage of a lie. When the stakes are high (and the stakes ARE high in a presidential race), people will distort the truth as the see it fit. I applaud Obama for telling the truth before the dirt diggers exploit this and use it against him, the buck stopped with him, and there is no speculation about what it all means or how to interpret it.

There are others that try to legislate morality, furthermore, there are others that are too weak or inarticulate to admit to human frailties (without using it as a 'I'm just me' weapon for political favor.) The current political machine uses fear, religious propaganda and morality as a weapon, saying it is the voice of the 'common man,' when in actuality the voice of the moderate common man is has been forgotten in politics in this day and age.

In terms of unilateral action, the fascist and the congress are to blame for the quagmire in Iraq, but our 'moral' president brought this issue to the forefront of political activity. Personally, I believe the human casualties suffered due to this is in far greater significance than lying about fellatio. I don't advocate lying under any means, however, if you think the children's morality has suffered due to a sexually immoral president, interview some 15 years olds about the subject before and after the presidential influence and crunch the numbers, and even if they are 'compelling,' what's the matter with it? (my opinion on morality again shines thru)

Would Bama LISTEN to others, yes, I don't think there are too many people that are more stubborn than the current president, and he is a 'god lovin' man, but believes in the separation of church and state, much like Goldwater. Moderate thinking will suggest, 'believe in Jesus, but keep him out of the white house,' and talk to your former Secretary of State Colin Powell more than you hop on the mystic hotline.

I think it's admirable that Bama spoke up about drug use, and I don't use my influence in politics on a moral subject matter, and if Bush appeared in front of grand jury, pearly gates or anything other 'judge of character,' you make your own decision. Base it on your own definition of morality, and your gut feeling of who is a better leader, not political affiliation.

It will be an interesting race, interesting in what comes up in the arguments 'haters' will use in defense of what boils down to their subtle or not so subtle prejudices. I've seen it happen already in my small hometown Texas village.

Utopia, as long as humans walk the earth will not be achieved, and I applaud people who will treat terrorism as a crime rather than a war, and be honest about things that count.

And Here's To You the Blue Wide Open, Get Me Off This Cursed Land, Back When My Heart Remained Unbroken, Time was a Footstep in the Sand

Songs of Innocence and Experience, a work by William Blake I picked up a few years back comes to mind while I listen to the washed out sounds of Kite Flying Society.

Wasn't it nice being an innocent child? Back in the olden' days, I used to marvel at the small town trade shows, I would think general stores had an abundance of supplies, I used to be scared of your typical small town Barney Fife policeman, and my dream car was a Ford Bronco II, and it was priced a mere $13,911 USD. I'll spare you the rest of the you are a child of the 80's IF stuff, but that applied to me too, and sometimes, yes, sometimes, I do miss my mullet.

Now, I'm a hater, I'm a warped frustrated 'city boy,' whose read a lot of books, been exposed to a lot of ideas, been over the pond 5 times in search of perspective. Yea, all fine and dandy, but due to the perspective gained, it's hard to balance it on a plate. I'm sure the same applies to having children, or any other challenging adult situation one encounters in life. I think it's hard to hold on to innocence / regain innocence...perhaps it's easier with kids?

Peace of mind is a combination between innocence and experience, as you grow in experience, it's important to keep lookin' back on those younger days to get back perspective. I enjoy crunching my brain when it comes to complicated problems, but sometimes I want to be a potato farmer somewhere with a view and 'live off the land,' and it's these two things that occupy my thoughts from time to time and in some cases, action to action.

In the end, the guy who gets dumped is the one that creates the vivid heartfelt poetry that inspires the hearts and minds of the Hallmark card writers. The guy, or girl who raises potatoes, if in times of nuclear war, created from 'intelligent ignorance' is the one I want to be close to, the self sufficient simple warrior. Both are needed in life, both are essential to peace of mind and mindfulness.

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Next Topic --- We can play 'name that topic' --- I've asked random friends what should I 'blog about' next --- The answers ranged from peas, global thermal nuclear warfare, Obamas Audacity's, what I had for lunch.....Any suggestions?

Cheap, Never Cheap, I'll Sing You Songs till you're Asleep -- When You've gone Upstairs I'll Creep and Write it All Down

Happy Monday, tonight after a potential Austin Music Blog meeting, I'm killin' time by playing with style sheets. 53 cool things to do with style sheets, it's fun :) -- Lots has been going on in the mind, just not a lot of time to pop it out there, but I'll unclug the pipes here, at least for a while.

A little bird told me that 30% of employers 'google search' your name when you are a perspective employee. I thought about this, and is it best to show up #1 on the google search results when you type in this, or is it better to sink into the world of the tangled web. I say, why not be the #1 hit on google when they search for the one of the 100+ of them. I would think it shows good understand and tenacity to 'get to the top,' or maybe it's just luck and the other ones of them just aren't that active. I'm weighing my options with a new career, and I personally don't see a problem with 'personal' content on the web, as long as its not flammatory to your institution or others.

Finally finished Atlas Shrugged, the book is pretty depressing, takes you on a downward spiral the first 998 pages of fine print, the last two say, 'lets rebuild all this crap,' pretty anti-climatic, but probably the best book I've ever seen about getting it's point across. I've attemted it 3 times, I've gotten 3 different meanings from it --- 1st Time, I got from it, don't ask questions no one can answer -- 3rd time clarification I think, well someone's gotta answer them, or pave the way for the answer. 2nd Time, the government sucks, 3rd time around, the goverment yes, it is inefficient and yes, that sucks obviously, also on the third time I've taken into account to power of the special interest lobby (weather that be save my profit margin or save the trees) -- throws a kink that will take a while to work out and figure out what's 'objective' in my mind. 3rd time, man, it's individualism, I have this finally, and if it's worth anything suffering thru a challenging prose like that, its this 'central theme.' I'll elaborate on this more and more as the weeks go by, because there is a lot here to dissect. Now I'm on to an entertain 'short version' of Proust entitled How Proust can Change Your Life.

I'm working on losing 15 pounds this month, the family is calling me walrus, and mike p called me tubby the other day. I'm in great shape, just got the dreaded 'beer gut' -- 30 minutes to an hour on the treadmill 4 days a week will do the trick, no more cokes, and no more french fries on the intake part. I guess you could say I've got some 'happy fat,' as its been a time to relax a bit more than usual in the last month or so, but its time for that to go. As they say, your body is your vessle in life, take care of her, and that's what I'm trying to do.

More focused concise postings to come, I'm trying to get some shape or reason to this blog, the 'wrapper' and 'inner wrapper' need a bit work. Wish me luck, I need this site to look better than this. Whateva ASHTON!!!

I Heard her Story from Across the Sea, There was Never one as Fair, Lovely as She

Happy 73 to MUMMY! --- The party was at Darlene's house, lots fun, lots of kids roaming around, and yes, lots of the dreaded dry turkey to eat!

The family poll suggest that, although they appreciate my deep and cynical ramblings on life, they like the 'what did I do for dinner postings better, etc, etc. Rest assured, once life settles once again I'll be out on the town with some blogworthy material. Lots of family showed up, Austinites, Houstonites, San Antonio-ites, and other podunk-ville-ites.

Since I'm camera-less, I've had to rely on pictures taken by friends, in this case, Ashton, sending me the absolute worse pictures of me. Yea, I'm running around, playing football, soccer, etc with kids all day, sit down to take a bit, and Ashton starts snappin' pictures. The family HAS in fact adopted the name 'walrus' for me, I don't mind I suppose.

Happy Birthday to Mum, I'm sure she's got at least 20 more in her!