Do open windows keep the rain away? Do open eyes keep the ghosts at bay?

Like a Martin guitar, the experience will only get better with age. The logistics of getting to DC were a nightmare. Left Fredericksburg VA (approx 30 miles from DC), at 3.30 am, rolled up to 'the area' where everyone was at 9.10. About 3.5 hours in the car to the metro, 30 minutes in line at metro, 1 hour on metro (and the smell of a girls puke) later we made it to DC.

It was about 20 degrees, BRUTAL cold, and of course, ill prepared for the realities of that man people around.

Here's where we landed.

Here was looking the other way.

You're not going to find a hot dog dealer in this mess, nothing could survive the mass, surprisingly few capitalists cashing in on pimped out Obama swag.

Maybe because these guys were perched on every building, the Powershot G9 could find em' all.

This was as close as us 'common folk' could get to the event while it was going on. Mr Army Man made sure there was no civil unrest.

A GQ shot in from of the Washington Monument, I even dipped a toe in to the frozen water, en route to the Arlington Cemetery metro, for a more reasonable exit.

Finally Bob and Rob, the Texas boys who were there, to prove that we were there, that we heard of him first, now, relatively speaking :)

You can take a trip through your juke joint smoke-filled paradise You can give it your all, cause you are walking a fine, fine line

My lack of understanding economics is killing me, for it's crucial in truly understanding what's going on. I don't trust media outlets and blogs that say the sky is falling, its human nature to think that way, and its a sure fire way to increase ratings.

Our collateralized debt obligation will lead to us as a nation not being in control of our own destiny. From what I've read, and throwing in that I'm not an expert, most of our collateralized debt is in the form government bonds, 60% of which China 'owns,' with a slow and steady rate of 6% return. Ayn Rand would be rolling in her grave at the quick / greedy schemes conjured up these days to undermine hard work. Prosperity and hard work go hand in hand.

The free market will live on, and like an optimist says, a phoenix will rise from the ashes, but that phoenix will be soaring with the bald eagle, and that's indeed how it should be. The global economy will find new markets, and find its way to societies in which people are begging for and deserve a better standard of living.

The creatives in China and India are working for a sort of 'grass roots' capitalism, one that doesn't manifest itself in the rich. The new hotness is by cheap goods by volume for the volume.

People say its the 'perfect storm,' blah blah, and its been hard to not repeat this doom and gloom. The contrary suggests the connected world market is more of a blessing than curse, it keeps institutions in check, and it has mechanisms to punish bad behavior. Whoever you want to blame it on, the USA will have a nice black eye and broken leg when the dust settles.

In a nutshell, my thoughts are, to fix this, globally, the governments of India and China will allow more expansion to keep the global economic ship afloat, funded by a consistent 6% return on investment of our debt collateral for the unforeseeable future. At some point, western civilization (this side of the Atlantic) will have to take the hit, could be now, could be later.

The old line, payback is a b*tch. The last 2 years I've made SERIOUS compromises on my life to enjoy a debt free living, the law of averages says America as a collective has to do the same. Cultural humility and awareness should be baked into the solution too.

there was no bed, there were no chairs, there was no roof, there was no stairs

Great conversation today with co-worker who had similar experience in his youth as I recommended Wild Man's Journey.

Rites of passage, especially into manhood seem to have taken a back seat in modern times, especially for ones who've lost a dad. It's a very fascinating human element the more you explore it, and also exhilarating.

I can recall several life incidents in which I'm standing in circumstance, and there's a gap between when it began and I ended, all subtle but very apparent when taken a closer look. Family relations, girls, sports, jobs, emotions, the way you frame yourself in the universe,.....all things considered.

I'm getting close to being talked into the New Warrior Program, to perhaps fill in some of these gaps.

our lives are better left to chance, i could have missed the pain, but i'd of had to miss the dance

That's right, Garth Brooks for the evenin', I publicly admin to liking his tunes, ironic or not, a part of my past, and still a reservoir for life metaphor.

• I recall our high school history teacher, not only having the 'we didn't start the fire poster' up, but also talking about the pros and cons of life through the lyrics of GB. Something I'll never forget, conventional wisdom coming from someone I truly respect.
• I recall my niece Krysi getting married, and her husband Alex singing GB's version of 'To Make you Feel My Love', very heart warming and genuine.
• I recall a massive rain delay at Baltimore's Camden Yards field, they played rain tune after rain tune, one being, 'the thunder rolls'
• I recall my buddy Brad in high school, coming to school in boots, wranglers, and a shirt bearing the lyrics 'choose to chance the rapids, dare to dance the tide'
  

Growing up I was 80% convention, 6% progressive, 14% the rest.

If I had to take a gander at my life the last couple years, and acknowledge where my sleep zone (the way I stack my physical and emotional equity) is, I'd have to say rooted in 40% convention, 40% progressive ideology, 1% radical, 19% the rest. I really want to think this one through one day and break out those number even more.

• Passion was a big thing for me back in the early days, I'd often stay up all night worry about things to come, things left undone
  
• Emotional Balanced scorecarding and hedging are things I've only come to identify with recently, it's my version of Prozac

When I was 22, Emotion Scorecard = (and i think i was better than a lot)

1. hey man, where's the party?
2. do you got the booze?
3. let me borrow a good shirt
4. that cologne smells good, let me have some!
5. dude, that chick is hot
6. (long interlude of frivolous flirtations), and poking out ass in hopes to get noticed
   
7. insert junk food of choice before bedtime
8. man, i'm so hungover, i must have had 15 last night
9. BIRP
   
10. i'm so cool, lets do it again, tonight, and next week
    

Now at 32, Emotional Scorecard =

1. Seizing opportunities when they arise
2. Communicating what needs to be said
3. loving, listening and understanding your family
4. developing a firm level of trust with your good friends
5. a healthy exercise routine
6. while still being able to enjoy a big flat plate of whatever the host is serving
7. a career that challenges and rewards, taking pleasure in doing the hard things
   
8. a snapshot in time (for me is shiner) that doesn't change much, so i can see how much i change
9. ambition, a dedicated hike to the fountain of youth atop of tall mountain
10. understanding the beauty of a simple plan
    

It's all about soul It's all about faith and a deeper devotion

On Jan 20th, much will be about soul. Masses will watching on television, and masses, like myself will be watching from 17 blocks away.

I put faith in personality, emotion, trust, and intelligence, and someone who angers fundamentalists on 'both sides of the aisle.'

The Systems Fail, All the Circuits Blown, And the Message Lost, In The Machine

Reading economic crisis story after economic crisis story would lead one to believe apocalypse is coming, however, the doomsday crowd always fails to estimate the creativity of mankind, and more importantly the cardinal desire for self preservation. Several times in the past year I've heard the rubber plane analogy. When faced with dire circumstances, with obstacles or predictions not met, one could say the rubber plane has hit the mountain. In essence, the plane changes course until it hits another mountain, all the while the only thing needed to steer clear of is the volcano.

The 'real wealth' is a paradox in terms. It reminds me of what Chris Rock once said, 'Shaq isn't rich, the white man who signs his paycheck is.' In recently talking to an academic type friend of mine, who thinks this vaporware wealth is largely 'evil', the wheels spinning in my head validate to me that the fundamental science of economics is good, it makes common people like us able to buy cars, and live in suburbia, with a standard of living better than kings in old times.

Throw a bad math equation in the mix (subprime), couple that wil reflexivity (people think the stock goes down, therefore it goes down), and puts and shorts on otherwise healthy stock (greed) and we have some problems. Enter the life and times now, volatile, 1) China going, hmmm, is the white man ever going to pay us back, 2) the Jones's not able to afford any more luxuries on credit, and 3) a turbulent middle east, one in which the US takes a staunch support for Israel, we threaten alienation from OPEC, therefore potentially losing the currency reserve status for oil. All the while, our money printing presses going 24x7, where's the inflation going?, and when is the right answer to fix this going be 'save and produce' instead of spend more?

Yes, doom and gloom -- I would say it looks 'bad' for the USA only because of the scaling back of lifestyle, heaven forbid, the government and consumers buying only what they can afford. The USA won't sink into 3rd world status, and there won't be a run on the bottled water on the store shelves, the rest of the world will simply enjoy a higher standard of living, that is, to the extent of their respective dysfunctional governments will allow.

What is real wealth anyway? Say if one has a 401k that matches to a certain percentage, you put 50% in, your employer 50%. If you're 'down' 37% for the year, in nominal terms you're really still 'up' 13%, and that's the math we have to get used to in the new financial era. Two factors will corral 'growth' to nominal means in the future 1) intense scrutiny and regulation of the markets, and 2) the emergence of 'business ethics' as Billy Madison would say. Ahhh, capitalism these days, feelin' like the puppy that $hit in the corner.

As Peter Schiff says, 'there's a bull market somewhere' and like the ancients say, 'if you want to build cities, you have to build roads'. The rise of global shared hegemony is on the way, currencies will be allowed to 'float' against the reserve, and it will be holistically beneficial to civilization. China is building infrastructure, and churning out double and triple the number of educated and hungry people. As government regulation eases by means of controlling civil unrest, the red will also add white and blue.

Perhaps I'm young and naive saying the US hegemony is over (its been said time and time again throughout the 20th century), our credit is stretched, our military the same, our attention span and tenacity have went to the way of iPhone apps and 'hard working' paper shifters.

As we stand on what Mr Progress calls the 'arc of history,' the way I see it, we have a few options, continue to think the world will give us their money, and in return re-create vapor money for them, or we can embrace the developing world, investing in something tangible. My 35,000 foot high level strategic investment strategy for the future, invest in what makes America green, and what makes China red, white and blue.

rumor coming in from the underbelly of the east coast rumor going out from the dirty mouths out west

If anyone wants to make a trip to see M. Ward play at the Trocadero in Philly, trip Feb 20-22, round trip airfare is 120 from SA to Philly, and the tickets are 30 bucks, and you know I roll with the Motel 6.

Can anyone, other than turdboy get a kitchen pass for this historic event? OOO, there's also the statue or Rocky and the liberty bell.

No fire where I lit my spark, I am not afraid of the dark

Seth G says it best, "I don't like New Year's. Faux merriment, excessive drinking, ridiculous resolutions and general malaise. Not to mention Dick Clark."

Life is a journey, expectations change along the way --To whom, for whom, with whom all gets blended in, very important in the crusade of life.

-- Where I'm From (past)

I have a buddy that always asks me about my parents, how I grew up, and the psychoanalysis goes from there. In short, he says there's no way I grew up in rural Texas, and I say why the heck not? On my jog tonight I go past the cemetery where my old man is buried. I think about the memories, growing up under the circumstances of Dad being sick most of mine and his life. It was an opportunity to both give and receive love, a way to come to grips and exorcise bitterness from my life at a young age.


Growing up my expectations were the following (highlights)

1. that the doc's would reduce the suffering dad had to endure (social pressures didn't bother me one bit)
2. marry the first girl I fell in love with
3. experience life after high school, go to college on my shitty SAT score, get a computer job

The rest was the great wide open --


-- The journey I've chosen (present)

Traveling, heartbreak, reading and imagination set me on the course of discovery. I can easily decipher what's an end, and what's a means to an end. My 'bucket list' so to speak is literally out of this world.

Current expectations

1. common decency to people i know and meet, and especially between people who are supposed to love each other
2. obtain a deep understanding of the connectedness of the world, social-political-geographical-religious-financial
3. give further definition to my faith, and keep it alive

Future expectations and more to end state

The reoccurring sentiment best described by the presidents of the usa (not really presidents, but the band...) --" old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch and that, old man is me."......"happy with no teeth, happy here in hibernation" -- sure that plays into it, but i'll surely be workin' till my days are done, hopefully more on what i want.

Long term exceptions (contradictory as portrayed in bullet points, but clear in my head)

1. to be loved
   
2. to experience true freedom (from myself, from others, from society)
   

-------
Yea, write it all down will I -- I think about it all (the whole why we are here, and what do we need to do), as life changes and feel that it's helped me put most things into perspective, and for the most part, has made things like sifting through technology a breeze.

drawn to the flame

everyone throws out bullet points for the years end, what came to focus from 2008.

bullet points --\\ gotta look past them, everyone reads the bullet points, not too many read the long boring paragraphs and accept the cold hard realities of their respective fields

aggrigator v producer --\\ anyone can aggrigate, less can produce content worth aggrigating -- integration of it all is the only thing that gives you a competitive advantage these days

learn mechanics--\\ know the tools out there, and figure out what purpose to use them for. just b/c a swiss army knife has 60 blades doesn't mean you have to use them all -- if you use the screwdriver to try to cut something....nothing good comes of that, etc

ideas / and execution--\\ ideas are a dime a dozen if you don't execute. if you think someone else is going to execute your brilliant idea, think again -- i've come to understand if you want your endeavor to take off, you have to babysit it from start to finish

stock market vs fantasy football-- \\ the stock market is easier to predict than fantasy football.

aggressively persue goals w/ eye on prize-- \\ find something that needs to be done within your scope, agressively execute -- accept the diligence needed for the task at hand

intuition and courage-- \\ is personal, is key, is the make or break--- you can read books, blogs, tweets, wikis and countless other sources on information, you gotta mold them together, add value, and retrofit for your specific task, and execute.

finally --\\ you're not going to outdo what's already been done

It's the End of the World as We Know it, And I Feel Fine

The 'stock-off' between my brother-in-law and I begins.

End-Of-Us-Dominance Portfolio

Stock -- Price -- Shares -- Value

Petroleo Brasileiro SA (ADR) PBR
22.07
11.32759
$250

PetroChina Company Limited (ADR) PTR
84.19
2.969474
$250

Sasol Limited (ADR) SSL
28.5
8.77193
$250

Terra Industries Inc.
TRA
14.89
16.78979
$250

Agrium Inc. (USA)
AGU
31.04
8.054124
$250

Silver Wheaton Corp. (USA)
SLW
6.33
39.49447
$250

Goldcorp Inc. (USA)
GG
31.07
8.046347
$250

Bucyrus International, Inc.
BUCY
17.44
14.33486
$250

Total $2000

Contrarian US will Recover Portfolio Mutual Fund

Stock -- Price -- Shares -- Value

Royce Financial Services Svc RYFSX
4.30
248.139
$1000

ICON Financial ICFSX
5.18
193.05
$1000

Total $2000

The dimming of the light makes the picture clearer, It's just an old photograph, There's nothing to hide, when the world was just beginning

Brothas, sistas, and motha.

Kale and I, this little dude is AWESOME.

Grant, Ayden and the gang on a mission

Have yourself a very vulcan Christmas.

Did you see the stylish kids in the riot We were shovelled up like muck Set the night on fire Wombles bleed truncheons and shields

Ever since Gladwell turned me on to the word 'maven', I've combed the internet pages to find these special people and bask in their radiance.

One attribute I've always thought 'handy,' the power to influence. Bon Jovi does it, you can hear tons of people singing along to Livin' on a Prayer. He's got the help of guitar hero and shelf space at wal mart.

You have to go out of your way to find and understand Pete Doherty and truly grasp why a mass follows him. That's the gang, generally speaking I want to go have a beer with.

Pure influence, when your song gets sung back to you. This isn't a bad pickup either.

This city's so cold & old Forever rain or snow I'd really love to come and go

The season and year for fog.

Leaves finally have left the trees.

The banana tree doesn't like the cold weather.

The festive neighbor

The most decorated building in town.

Joy to the world

The bustling downtown.

Nicely done :)

A random hunk of lights in the park

It's on Amerika's Tortured Brow, That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow

I'd say there are changes coming in 2009, first coming with saving, saving for a better day, saving to spend later. Interesting and unique opportunities are all over the place, and I'm going to labor to capitalize.

Makes me think of a line of thought in Crashproof, in which the author talks about western 'information technology service sector' being overstretched. Generalizations about manufacturing jobs being lost and about how the world isn't awe'd by the American consumer also shine through.

For my future as an wanna be entrepreneur, what this guy probably will say in this book...If your idea says something like 'well get 'them' to hook into 'this'' , you're screwed. Cute is saturated. If it can't be done in your living room with your best buddy, you're playing a finite game and marching with the herd.

The money will stay on the sideline for some time, but will be there to scale a solid idea that can be monetized.

I worried and stalled every night of my life. Better safe than making the party

Time to recollect for the year on what I've learned. A buddy and I talk, generally speaking he's an idealist, I'm a pragmatist, but rigid in my own thoughts. For a great part of my life, I've found struggle in how pragmatism and idealism can meet in the middle.

Abstract a bit further, and think, how can ANY idea, any thought, word, deed, feeling, etc find common ground. What's the basis for commonality? Sure there's the general themes of mutual respect, understanding and empathy, but that doesn't strike at the heart of the matter.

To explore further, my personal story of discovery, of course lost in translate, comes from weekly dialogue in philosophy, my buddy, a Plato person, myself, a Kant person -- two that 'kinda go together, but kinda not'. I do some digging for quotations, find a middle ground that assures me that I (at least for my own well being), have found the root of common decency, and the tie that binds reasonable people together, and provides a solid foundation to build upon.

-----------
'Always recognize that human individuals are ends, and do not use them as means to your end.' -- Kant

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -- Plato
-----------

I've discovered that despite what contempt I have on the surface of 'this place' (anything that deals with the mass of humanity, their consumptions, their evils, my perception of what's pathetic), it doesn't manifest in friendships I've established over the years, and generally speaking I have a great disposition when it comes to the challenges in life, and all of its curiosities. Even though my phone doesn't ring on Saturday night, I have great friends everywhere I look, which confirms a mutual genuine interest.

Similarly, I feel as if I've got great capacity for intimacy, I feel strongly (as my fortune cookie suggests) a beautiful, smart and loving person will be coming into your life. All the intangibles will align, someday, somehow, sometime.

It all starts with the realization that most human life is precious (even though there are too damn many of us), and I want to dive into that feeling. This means lowering my guard, this means throwing out the bad mental habits of self defeatism.

Humans super complex and wonderful, I'm going to live by that one, and continue bridging the gap between cognition and manipulation.

Acting on your best behaviour Turn your back on mother nature Everybody wants to rule the world

Next year marks the first year in my professional career that I'm collectively producing more than I'm consuming.

In a civilization that seems to have forgotten how to produce, we see shifting -- entertainment, litigation, copyright and cool web 2.0 stuff.

Tears for fears was right, everyone has an agenda in this world. Few go the extra mile to help their agendas along. This means finishing up something before surfing the web, and it means doing the hard stuff first.

We can lie to ourselves and say sub prime is the cause, but more consumption than production is root cause, that's the super bubble that will break. Someone said we have the 20% work rule, and that's what's got us into this mess, and suggests that we employ the 120% rule to get out of it.

Huhuh! I was in the right! Yes, absolutely in the right! I certainly was in the right!

The last credit card debt I'll have in my past life -- 2009 might be bad for the economy, but it'll be great year for me.

Been to hell and back financially, got the t-shirt.

That doesn't mean I won't buy a round of beer for 15 Brits at 10 bucks a pint, just means I'm not going to put it on the credit card :)

Pure easy listening, settle down On the pillow soft when theyve all gone home

Stringing things together as life goes on.

Gladwell has two good phrases to ponder in his new book, 1, the war on mitigated speech, and 2, glorious misconceptions.

Two new years resolutions --


An all out assault on mitigated speech -- Slapping a time and date saying you need this on 'x' date, instead of the 'umm, if you're not too busy, do this by then', etc, etc -- It's the next step forward in people taking things seriously.

A breakdown of glorious misconceptions. Continue to spend 20 minutes on something someone else gives up on in 30 seconds.

Hilary went to the catholic church because she wanted information The vicar, or whatever, took her to one side and gave her confirmation

Soliciting thoughts on what to write about tonight, you know I'd take the hard one. --

1 -- how our almost former president is agile, like a cat?

or

2 -- The Duality of Man

Duality, of course I'm thinking Yin and Yang, but then got into 'Unification Thought,' very fascinating. It's the ultimate in finite thought, and its left my head spinning for the evening.

Unification thought is meant to serve as a philosophical basis for social, political, economic, religious, and cultural activities. It also goes on to say....Unification thought encompasses theories on God, human nature, nature, ethics, art, education, knowledge, logic, method, and history. God and man are mutually interdependent.

It frames life in a more spiritual way. From what it tells me, there are forces that can tell you how to think, but fewer forces to explain how you feel.

giving into the blue sky and to the gold eye of what is possible, giving one in a million, you be the engine of what is possible

Time for the top ten of 2008, most are repeats and oldies, some sentimental to the heart, but the top 10 surly does change when you move out of a music city. Your musical knowledge and 'in the know' seems to shrivel on the vine.

With that being said, its been a great year for the soul, and the soundtrack reflects. It also reflects someone that's getting old.


10 - Conor Oberest / Conor Oberest and Racounters - Consolers Of The Lonely -- Number 10 is a tie between these two great. Conor is a great songwriter that surrounds himself with some of my favorites, too deep to be considered whiny emo. The Racounters are there b/c of the mere precense of Mr Benson, the Jack White singing style gets to me every now and then, but its a great jam. This year used it as a pump Roland and Mike D up for the Marathon car drive.

9 -- Belle and Sebastian -- BBC Sessions -- Even if they'd fart on a snare and record, they'd be in the top 10. An album that shows there ain't much studio magic to their perfection.

8 -- John Denver's Greatest Hits -- What memories are made of. Mike P and D and I rolling throught the mountains of Colorado with Mr Rocky Mountain high hippie on repeat. We did see it raining fire in the sky on Mike P's wedding trip. The soundtrack is memorable if you take something like this, roll it on repeat, get annoyed, get past annoyance, and sing at the top of your lungs. I'm there, just got to get the others in the car to that point.

7 -- Fleet Foxes -- The only mainstream hipster band on the list. I like them because of the reverb, the lyrics, the nice little fills.

6 -- Old 97's Blame it On Gravity -- Rhett and the Boys put out consistently good stuff. Rollin with the top down in Shiner, acting cool, blaring these tunes. Not to mention, even people who aren't up on music can hop in the car and say, hey, this sounds good. It's approachable and hip.

5 -- Dan Wilson -- Free Life -- Album that talks about love, love, love, and spins it every which way. In my line of work we deal with analytics and OLAP cubes, well Dan can spin that cube any and every which way in this album, as it pertains to love. He traded in his gyrating hips of Semisonic for a solo career, and producer of great albums like the recent Dixie Chicks.

4 -- Ben Folds -- Way too Normal --He has the crowd pleaser song with Regina Spector, love it, and also......

He's the geek that puts the mistery, debate, and complexity behind in defining gender roles. This little dude brings a huge set of nuts to the debate, representin' for the intellectual, representin' for the non-athletic type.

The first line of the song says it all...

(The answer you seek my son only poses more questions.
Ask many women why relationship has failed.
Each woman offer unique reason for demise.
One woman may say, "man could not commit."
Or, "man is douche, and is now free to make love to himself instead."
Another woman may say, "man had changed,"
or even, "man no longer satisfactory lover."
But my son, ask many men same question all over the world, "why has relationship failed?" Each man, each time, will give same, simple answer.) ---- The B*tch went nuts..

3 -- Billy Bragg -- Mr Love and Justice -- Billy brings me a contemporary outlook on life throught the lense of an active Brit. Uncanny that I agree with most he preaches, he's a positive vibe in a world full of trouble.

2 -- David Byrne -- Everything that Happens -- Wow, caught on to this one late, but Byrne works wonders with the album, his vocals are amazing. The man is superhuman.

1 -- Josh Ritter -- The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter -- Number one goes to the album that was in my car CD player for the first 6 months of the year. Driving to work, I listened to the Temptation of Adam at least 5,000 times. The music is emotionally anomous despite deep lyrics and insite.

The cars in the churchyard are shiny and German Distinctly at odds with the theme of the sermon

I'm sure going to miss the view from where I geek out when its not there.

Mike P comes to town, I get offered beer in 4 different places on the evening and the total number drank....0. Last time I ran a 5k, I drank 6 rum and cokes the night before. Talk about a difference of performance.

Gotta keep the head warm in cold Texas weather.

And then there's Chesney, she's damn funny. Mike P and I invaded her and Jason's dinner by the fireplace.

Through Your State of Grace, Lift me Up, Walk into the Fire With Me

The astronomical clock in Prague has always has created an epiphany when gazing at the sun and moon, and walk of the apostles at the same glance. Not to mention the clock seems to sit in the middle of 'old' and 'new' city.

Similar, here I sit right smack dab in the middle of a crossroad in life, to my left is a lifestyle that's got me where I am today (for better or for worse), and to my right is a vision of where I want to be. Feels like I'm easing into one and out the other.

To my left, I'm one to harp on words like domestication and contentment, to my right I'm discovering new words like grace and compassion. I'm intrigued by the collective feelings of sorrow and happiness rather than the individual, I know I have a lot to learn.

Proper judgment means more than anything.

So go play with your piano Write a mediocre song Out the shell of mediocrity And pretend there’s nothing wrong

Tonight is one of those nights everything sorta hurts, a night of limbo. During whiteboard session with Mike P on ACROBAT>COM, I asked 'what should I blog about,' the answer, 'an epiphany', your latest one.

Had to really look the word up to see what it meant. The definition, 'A sudden revelation of truth inspired by a seemingly trivial incident.' Guess those things are good, and I think you can condition yourself to have more and more of them.

Here's where I have them, and what they pertain to --

• While sitting in my cube, I have to get up, walk around, figure out how to disseminate, diffuse, and catalog next steps moving forward
• Sitting in pubs with friends of like minds, who cultivate ideas, no trolls
• Visual queues, looking at something, man made or nature, going 'damn, there's something really significant about that'
• Being vigorously hard on the heart and mind, body and soul, constant probing as long as I can withstand -- I always figure there will be time for rest one day, or not
  

What I do with them --

• Frame it context, act.
• Push the envelope
• Weave into your existence
  
• Share / Communicate, the most important part

Epiphany's are out there, observance is key.

And At Night, You Go to Bed and Dream that the Would Would Be Like You Want it, You got the Courage Why Not Flaunt It.

A word about hyper consumerism --

Going to a store, going to a burrito joint, going to a mall, you could argue that we've reached a gilded age for the middle class. People for the most part can afford to do almost anything, buy anything, use anything, go anywhere.

Something in me says what's morally right in seeing the mass consumerism is to seek sustainable living. I'm proud when I can pluck a lemon from the tree in the backyard and use it, I'm proud when I see a counter full of potatoes, tomatoes, onions and carrots.

I'm not proud when I see 100 plastic cups disseminated at Starbucks every hour, the packaging it takes to deliver certain goods to market, or the general passiveness of people, or people who are oblivious to the effects of all of this.

Lots of hearts and minds need to be changed, we have two choices, become more aware and conscious, or mother nature will rightfully burp us off this planet.

White Kitchen Walls with a Thousand Windows, You Turn On Winston in the Den.

Thinking about it today, my family balances me out, thank y'all so much for that. Blogging about / thinking about the family is therapeutic.

No chestnuts roasting on an open file, but we have some nice stockings hung by the chimney with care, and we also have 'Bedford Falls' up there, the famous places from the movie.

Back yard retrofitted with a sheet as a screen, projecting a movie while we basked in the hot tub.

Angle is everything when shooting pictures, here' the backyard pool looks a bit like puff daddy's stuff.. um maybe not, how am I supposed to judge until I get invited to one of puffy's parties.

The fam says its low maintenance, so no pool boys come over to clean.

Finally the Bailey Building and Loan. A queen bee I used to live with said I remind her of George Bailey, I think it's one of the best compliments I ever received, in context.

I'm up in the air, can't hear a sound You're making a noise on the ground

Often I neglect the fact that tennis has had a major impact on my life during tender years. My buddies and I would often play 7 hours a day on the weekends in 100 degree Texas heat. Lots was learned during this time, and now that I have the ability to think, there are several terms that transcend tennis.

Ace -- Making that point that transcends all points. Hitting the ball so your adversaries can't even touch it.

The Double Fault -- The worst thing ever. Means that you don't even get the ball in play to see what happens, you screw it up yourself, and don't even give you opponent a chance to react.

Volley / Net Play -- Picking the ball off early will all for better placement, often 'winners' and gives your opponent very little time to react.

The Serve -- Getting the mechanics down for the serve is a feat in itself. It's collecting yourself, then exploding all effort for a purpose

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My travels have brought me to Roland Garros in Paris, Flushing Meadows in New York, and Wimbledon in London -- The last of the Grand Slams to hit is the Australia Open.

Favorite matches in my 'career'

-- Regional Final 1995 -- Playing doubles, the 'audience' would clap when I double faulted b/c my serve was wicked, especially for a short dude. Opponent gets stung by a bee, I'm thinking 'hell yea', we're going to win by default, but alas.

-- Team Tennis 1992 -- Playing the #1 slot for Shiner, I'd get demolished almost every match. One match during the warmup, wearing my prim and proper white attire, I hit a mud slick chasing down a ball, fall straight on my back, play the rest of the match covered in mud.

-- Cuero Summer Tennis 1993 -- Hot and tired, ready to concede the match when this punk pops me in the leg with an overhead smash when he had the entire court open. I mustered up the energy to come back and pulverize this bunghole.

-- First match ever -- Sportin my 'LA Gear' tennis shoes, I'm stressed like hell b/c I never played anything one on one organized, and I wanted to win. The set count 2-2 and then the rains came. 'Ronnie' and I never got to finish that match.

-- Regional Opener Round 1 -- Playing a Brazilian exchange student the day of dad's funeral. I got pummeled, but I showed up, that's what pops would have wanted.

-- Clay Court Hilton Head Island -- My bud David (aka John McEnroe temper) throws his racket over the fence in anger, not able to adjust to the slow play of the clay.

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Lots to be learned in it all, last night's match shows that we're all slowing down, using more angles and less power. We'll see how it goes at age 50.

what was i supposed to do, standin there lookin at you, a lonely voice far from home

Purpose --

Driving home in the middle of massive traffic, I stopped to think, what's the purpose? So many beings on the merry way, all with missions, all with thoughts, attitudes, personalities, challanges. It all seems to be a commodity.

I've been called a deconstructionist on a few occassions in life, seems to be getting that way. It's always more, more, more, more tv's, more money, more shows, more travel, more *insert vice, superficial, or other sentiment here* --

Certainly I don't agree with Freud when he says all you have to do in life is die. But certainly the modern day temptations don't offer a lot in terms of peace.

I know a lot of smart people that say they're searching for 'purpose,' but that begs the question, are they that smart? Purpose can be in all of life's simple things, I guess expectation is what screws it up, the incessant desire to want more and more and more, from everything and everyone.

Somewhere in there respect for your fellow man is thrown out the window.

If the sun can shine You'll be just fine Look into your mind Where you're free

My quick list of what makes a good leader, and what they need. BOTH are needed for SUCCESS.

Leadership attributes --

1. The ability to EXECUTE against all odds
2. The ability to ARTICULATE a VISION
3. The ability to INTEGRATE egos
4. The ability to create a sense of URGENCY

What leaders need --

1. RESOURCES, mainly human
2. TRUST -- in these resources
   
3. For difficult endeavors, ASSETS
4. REALISTIC EXPECTATION
5. SPONSORSHIP

Broken beaten down Cant even get around Without an old man cane I fall and hit the ground

A night at the best pub in town, and I drink a coffee. It's the start of something special in my life, I can feel it.

Manuelabor, Lacination, and Sophia come for a visit. After a visit from these folks, my battery is charged. If they were near, I know I'd NEVER get tired of hanging out with them, the latter may not hold true :)

What I get from hanging out with these wonderful folks

-- A voice of reason and an ear to listen (even though I think Lacinator thinks I'm crazy) --

-- I get asked the hard questions, don't get judged on the answers, conversation flows so freely it's wonderful

-- General all around good laughs, fun, excitment, and good spirit.

So tell me what the hell is normal and who the hell is sane? And why the hell care anyway?

Last few years there's always been a countdown of the greatest albums of the year. A precursor to that this year, for creatures of habit like myself is to highlight what I will name my favorite band of my generation, The Divine Comedy.

Mr. Hannon has clarified so much for me in the last 10 years, he's helped me over some humps, and continues to put things into perspective. The more I listen, the more I find, the more I grow.

The top ten tunes from the DC shot from the hip with the word that represents accordingly.

10 -- Songs of Love -- Unity -- It tells me that the masses are the masses and that if you stay away from the masses you are still OK. There is that 'group' of introspective people you're able to tap, you have that common bond with someone, a 'band of brothers' so to speak, the meek. Why I like it musically -- battling harpsichord and guitar, 3 party harmonies.

9 -- Gin Soaked Boy -- Balance -- 'I'm the sadness in the joy, I'm the gin in the gin-soaked boy,' a barrage of opposites are put together with a shot out to Jeff Goldblum at the conclusion. The song says you can be 'this' in a world of 'that', and you're better off for it. Reminds me of a quote from a Steve Segal movie 'what does it take to change the essence of man.'

8 -- Don't Look Down -- Spiritual -- Says to employ doubt and pessimism, yet give the nod to the gods, and when you least expect it, the angles will come down and give you the ride of your life. In the meantime, do what you need to do, do it with great courage, conviction and energy, and the rest works itself out in the wash.

7 -- Perfect Lovesong -- Love -- It's nothing that's assuming, its kind hearted, funny, and implies no pressure, confusion or complication. Damn, its sooo the place I want to be, a place of peace, motivation and inspiration, a place that's consistent and understanding, a place of rest, a place of solace, a place of mutual admiration.

6 -- Bad Ambassador -- Humor -- A type of humor that only comes from a self actualized human being who states the humor in who they are, where they are going, the circles they would like to 'roll in', but yet understand and articulate limitations in these thoughts and ideas, lives in a lofty place in mind, body and spirit, dreams good dreams. Sentiments that say, I can work well with an audience, any audience, but inside the bubble, its magic.

5 -- The Beauty Regime -- Fulfillment -- A song that piece by piece dissects the bullshit aspects of celebrity culture, while building up how special you are in the same breath. It's easy to 'get', the message that says live your life for you.

4 -- Tonight We Fly -- Inspiration -- Thinking of this makes me think of Alladin on his little magic carpet, flying over houses, looking at the human element, seeing the searches and battles raging on. It inspires me to think 'we're all in this together,' and that awareness, then empathy are keys to human understanding.

3 -- A Lady of A Certain Age -- Sadness -- Sadness in excess, sadness in too much individual thought. A song that follows the life and times of a woman who becomes more and more distressed. You learn a lot from staring into that abyss, its great to do it for a bit, then say, damn, it sucks down there, and that's NOT where I want to be. A song that says, 'figure out the human element in relation to things that are important and true, or you will die a lonesome depressing death.'

2 -- Charmed Life -- Hope -- A song that articulates the difficulty of taking the high road, and the inherent benefits of doing so. Layers of happiness, layers of beacons, layers of life's little lessons, both practical and hidden in meaning.

1 -- Mastermind -- Freedom -- The deepest song I've heard in the last 10 years. The message ranges from conformity, tenacity, introspection, temptation, realization, reassurance, threats and opportunity. Once you make it through line by line, listen after listen, layer on layer, you know a hell of a lot more about yourself.

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When you lift up the rug, internalize what you think and feel, what do you see under it? 10 years of The Divine Comedy has cleared the dirt and dead bodies.

Weightless as I close my eyes (Ohhhhh-aah) The ceiling opens in disguise

Can't tell you how much I HATE running, however I know there is something special about it and the people who can do it. I WILL get there, turning this, a great weakness into a great strength.

Running has to be a harmony between body and mind. When I run, thoughts splinter in all directions, chaos reigns supreme in my mind, which in turn plays havoc on my running.

To do this, changing habits is inevitable, including --

1 -- Binge drinking has got to go
2 -- healthier eating
3 -- strengthening of my core

and hopefully these things along with running will ebb me towards relaxation and a healthy soul.

Does anybody know how the story really goes Or do we all just hum along

Revisiting 4 of my favorite pictures

1 -- elversberg germany

2 -- Venicia

3 -- Vipiteno

4 -- Monserrate

What can you do but let them talk And make your way down the block

This video turned out so bad yet so good --

with the birds i share this lonely view

was at the launch of twitter back in the day, but never considered myself an 'early adopter' of anything, but the time has come --

to refine my thoughts, thinking and communication through twitter -- till i get a rhythm, it'll be what i ate for dinner, etc etc, but eventually cross pollination of great thoughts and ideas may occur.

i want to follow you, follow me, let's figure out the communication model together --

My twits

there go the words I meant to say There go the games I wanted to play

In this corner, the geeky aspect of the family, downing recession ales like they are going out of business.

And in this corner, a long haired Mike D and Sarah B in a swanky dress.

Seasons change, mad things rearrange But it all stays the same like the love Doctor Strange

Good friends always put it into perspective for me -- One says, 'Online dating is like going to the $7.99 all you can eat buffet,' then it can be further dove into in terms of the general chicken, seafood, won ton soup, etc, etc --

When you hit a buffet, if you let it happen, the feeling of guilt and gluttony finds its way into your thoughts. Similar to the smorgasbord of dating profiles on the site of your choice, where after choosing to meet a black haired blue eyed liberal who was born on a Gemini cusp that likes traveling, walks on the beach, and sushi, it returns 7 hits in your zip code, --- similar to the 7 things you head for at the buffet.

Tonight, it was chicken, shrimp, the meat on the stick, some dumplings, the jalapeno mystery chicken, a piece of cheesecake, and lets not forget the beloved pudding.

It's a slippery slope those buffets, the 7.99 turns into 6.99, then 5.99 and so on....

Something tells me that organic is the way to go in both circumstances.

the tide that left and never came back is on my mind tonight

Lots of song lyrics hovering in around during my bean heartburn infested jog this evening --

There's literal and non-literal interpretation in all words, thoughts and deeds, for years I've spouted out words, but the undertone has always been in the song lyric in the title of the post. If I'm quoting Eliot Smith, I'm usually not having a good day, despite what I write, Rhett Miller, cynical and playful, The Shins or Belle and Sebastian, I'm thinking about a collective of thought too hard to describe or understand.

Non-Literal -- an example, Murder or a Heart Attack, buy the Old 97's. If you take a gander at the lyrics below, a non-literal interpretation would be, boy and girl have relationship, one person leaves without warning or due to wandering heart, the other person rolls the dice by always keeping alive the possibility that the person who has left will come back.

\\We assign meaning to things and all of sudden those things have power over us.

Check out lyrics, and the literal interpretation follows, as per a story told at a live show.

----------------------------------------------------
And the hole
In the screen is barely big enough for you
And not near enough for me to go

And the whole damn complicated
Situation could've been
Avoided if I'd only shut the window

CHORUS:
And I may be leavin' myself open
To a murder or a heart attack
But I'm leavin' the back door open
'Til you come back, 'til you come back

----------------------------------------------------

Literal Interpretation - Rhett's livin' with his girl in LA. He forgets to shut the window, their cat jumps out and disappears, he's now scared that his girl is gonna murder him or she's going to have a heart attack when she finds out, so he looks for the cat relentlessly (no pun intended) and finally decides on leaving the door open till the cat comes home.

Like the lyrics in I'M A CUCKOO, people take to signs, but I think the reality is people assign value to signals, and that signal only has the value you give it.

I always attempted to bridge my literal and non-literal ideas for the sake of whole person progress, it's taken a toll on the soul. The brain is full of interesting nuance that's beneficial to explore.

Why do people do it? Framing information (thought, speech, word, and action) in different contexts is interpretative (good connotation), slippery (bad connotation), often you have to grab the few words from the wordsmith who lives in the area between literal and non-literal, come to a conclusion and run with it.

Greek gods are communing Beneath the doric arch And they talk how small we humans are

Tonight's thought, people don't know what they want, but they know what they DON'T WANT. There's a lot in this sentiment, but had writers block, then Malkmus showed me the way on my crusty old winamp .

You can frame the the conversation in terms of gathering business requirements, as you do something for boss that says, 'I don't know what I want,' you give them something, and say, I don't like it, try again.

Shepherds herd in real time
Sheep are barley-grazing on a field of green
Vines ripen to find
Troy will prevail
Trojan curfews prevail

Modern day courting / mating psychology thoughts guided by a Malkmus stanza.

Shepherds herd in real time

There's a lot of sheep in the world, that do what they're told, have no vision or hindsight, even more folks that have vision and hindsight but are lost in the fray. So Mr Hannon's, lyric Pale, pubescent beasts, rings true, weather you're in a bar of coffee house. We are victims of the worlds fashions, the more you mix it up the more you're galvanized in that behavior.

Sheep are barley-grazing on a field of green

There's a lot of 'grazing' going on out there, but what about true terms of endearment?. It probably looks more like cows eating on brown Texas grass than a European meadow. It's trial and error out there, it really shouldn't be that hard and scientific. Find a nice path of green grass, get fat on mental stability and goodness.

Vines ripen to find

What does one do as a higher priority than the quest? They ripen themselves, self enrichment and the like. I've learned to skip cocktail night more often than not to do things I know other people aren't, and what I've found, it makes you more 'mysterious' to the cocktail crowd. I figure I'm ripening on the vine ready to fight a few distinct predetermined battles.

Troy will prevail

Walls have a purpose, you let them down for non-internalized intentions and 'booty', then Troy doesn't prevail.

Trojan curfews prevail

Lots of ways to spin that one, but if you don't open to the wolf at the door, your kingdom will be safe.

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In all the Adam Sandler, well the puppy was a dog rambling, there's a message to plan, then act.

Tomorrow may come Tomorrow may never come again Can't you hear Jamie cryin? She's runnin' with the devil

“I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field controls my destiny.”

Han Solo said that, I like to think I favor him in life. Many times I enter a tribe, be it a fancy meal, a hipster alt-rock band / occasion, meeting of the minds, or just a general clique of artists, country boys or geeks.

If the group is serious, or serious doing its own thing, I instinctively sway the latter, and think, you're taking this way too seriously, or you're taking yourself or you situation way too seriously.

See Han thought the force was some crazy mystic voodoo, while the force was there, he acknowledged 'the force' wasn't a golden arrow for any situation. He saw all the good things from a variety of different planets, he had a bada$$ looking spacecraft, he had some great one liners that cut to the chase, all while being accepted and a part of the confines of a group. He had no 'special' power, but he had...

-- the ability not to panic in tough situations
-- the ability to stick it out when the going got tough
-- he was the man who knew the man
-- he knew how to fix stuff, and didn't mind getting his hands dirty
-- had no alliances to anyone, but knew right from wrong

Knowing when to stand firm, knowing which battle to pick, and knowing when to dip, duck and dive in a life is essential.

Needless to say, Han didn't sit back and color.

The railway ticket states the destination but it doesn't mean That we will show

Rolando, Mike D and Jenny run the half marathon this morning, the first annual one in downtown San Antonio, 30,000 people show. At the end of it all, the man from Kenya did the 26 miles just a tad before our valiant here's did the half, but I'm proud of the guys.

Waking up the 30 degrees, the snowflake by the temperature in the Jetta, I'm thinking, damn poor folks, however, it turned out to be an extremely beautiful day.

The ATT center, situated to herd 30,000 people into charter buses, school buses, you name it.

The before picture, I could tell everyone was hyped.

The after picture, everyone was in great spirits, they wanted to have some beers, and plan the soak-body-in-ice-water.

Thanks goodness Mark was there and Casey made the trip up to support the gang. We went to Shoney's and ate all you can eat breakfast while our protagonists ran the race, which literally made me sick to my stomach, for bad food, and all for the sake of feeling left behind. I'm turning lumpy, we can't have this.

So what DO I leave behind, this stuff, bacon, sausage, french toast, and don't forget the CHICKEN FINGERS on the buffet. The gang has penciled in the marathon in July 2009, running the whole thing, I vowed to do the half, and I start preparing this week, and I've decided to find a running group.

I HATE RUNNING WITH A PASSION, THE THOUGHT OF A TREADMILL MAKES ME SICK, but as some wise dudes say, make your greatest weakness your greatest strength.

I dragged you up the stairs And I told you to fly You were flapping your arms You started to cry

Eddie Vedder once lamented 'O O O O I'm Still Alive,' after staying up 3 days then going for a surf. Living on the fringes some people call it, its where all the action happens, and the closer you can stay to that the more eventful your life is, or at least that's what you think.

There are times when you're a walking zombie, when night and day blurs together, when thoughts run unbridled, unfiltered and somewhat coherent. I'd imagine like peyote without peyote.

What are the fringes of conventional life? Are there fringes? Or is it something you have to search for?

Times like these, I'm waiting for the 'Knock Knock Robert, The Matrix has you....'

Home- will infect what ever you do We're Home- comes to life from outa the blue

The social divide is alive and well more than ever these days.

There are divides in family, divides in what role the male and female should play, divides in ethnicity (Barack Obama isn't 'black enough', etc). There are divides in education levels, workers with unions and without, red vs. blue politics.

So what happens to when things get 'too big to fail?,' and there is an abundance of everything? You have greed, corruption, apathy, and complacent souls -- all bad, and can happen with excessive government or excessive capitalism.

How is the individual empowered in this day and age, other than collaboration amongst peers? How does the individual effect change in a world with no accountability? What does the modern day rebellion look like? Scary....

What does this mean in terms of the psychology of the 'cool kid' and what it makes people strive for? Why does the divide have to be prom queen or nerd, why is everything so dramatic, and why do people fall for it? -- Life is full of subtle irony, but not the stuff we're force feed because 'we' like it. Hence what does it make us 'long for', consequently 'settle for?'

I'm feeling kind of radioactive But I'll make it to the church on time

Pictures from O Montreal, Mt Royal was not as tall as I expected --

Where did you go when things went wrong for you, when the knives came out for you

Perks for having friends overseas, you learn about bands like The Bluetones

Love the guitar effect, and of course the na, na, na, na, na's at the conclusion of the tune.

Get Nostalgic Bout' the Last Ten Years Before the Last Ten Years have Passed

The last six month I've been devoting my brain cells to the hopes, perils and opportunities that exist with Mother nature, trying to really get a sense of what 'she' feels and the win win win's that exist all around conservation, awareness and respect. First understand, then empathize.

First, Hot Flat and Crowded, takes us on a geopolitical look at what's going on around the world. It articulates how we're funding both sides of the war on terror when we buy from Saudi and other countries who 'dont like us.' It puts into perspective the world 'coming online' and what that means for our natural resources. I like the concept of Duke Energy's 'smart black box,' a device that brokers energy consumption in and out, and has stats for all different ways you want to spin them. One point, how the military cools their huts in Iraq, through solar fitted 'accommodations' has tons of merit -- show's that throwing money at a problem helps. Another important point, a double sided battle must be waged to combat the predicaments our planet has to overcome, one, a nationalistic grass roots movement to see who's cooler than how, and a points system established to judge. Also, the manhattan project times 10.

Which........is a lead in into 'The First Billion is the Hardest' by Texas oilman Boone Pickens. One of his 'boonisms' is 'action leads to action,' and in short, what I have gleamed from the book, goverment has create an energy market with policies, hedges, and regulations, ensure they stay around for a long time, and let free enterprise fill that vacume / market and quit flip-flopping based on political ideologies. It's not going to be quick, its not going to be sexy, its not going to be easy.

Boone's bettin' on natural gas, and sad today that he's postponing his plans. While oil prices fluctuate, the downcycle of oil prices means less demand on clean gas. I know there's more to it, I'm looking into it, but if I was a bettin' man, these renewable resources and trading in their futures looks like somewhere to dig in. Don't think so, just go to Bejing, from what I'm told.

Last but certainly not least, The World Without Us, a look into the metaphysical means of mother nature to self correct. The book takes you on an emotional rollercoaster ride which shows how long human infrastructure, man made items, and the 'way we changed the world' would last without us being in the drivers seat. High points I can recall off the top of my head...Europe would 'heal' quick due to geography and weather patterns, NYC would have interesting consequences (the subways would turn to rivers) and when the trash finally erodes, it would take the roaches with it, The Panama canal wouldn't last long, Mt Rushmore, situated in a very fault averse / erosion averse location would last 7.2 million years, migration patterns of animals would change, etc, etc.

It's an exciting and sad ride all at the same time. I'm still trying to get a grip on what it all means, but it's 'deep'.

---------

Friedman and Boone would probably both concur with what Friedman stated... that we're in a 'green party' and what we need is revolution, and the follow quote was shared.

“A revolution is not a dinner party, or writing an essay, or painting a picture, or doing embroidery; it cannot be so refined, so leisurely and gentle, so temperate, kind, courteous, restrained and magnanimous. A revolution is an insurrection, an act of violence by which one class overthrows another.” -- Mao Zedong

Pretend the dove from above is a dragon and your feet are on fire

Thinking tonight -- Is it better to sell out a stadium, or to sell out a nice theater, and all the variations.

A band becomes successful by reaching the masses, or winning American Idol or what have you. Soon they are on mainstream channels of communication, next thing you know they are singing their national anthem at a large sports event, have contracts with Puma, and lets not forget the pyro.

Band sells out any 100 year old theater, 1/10th the size, fans have a 'sophistication' perhaps, or maybe the the performer has become a commodity, a has been, but either way there's an allure to the theater performer.

Granted what sells out a stadium is popularity, which is a lead in to how it relates to metaphors for life in general.

There is no popularity in a conventional trade, it's not sexy, it's not going to sell out stadiums. However, you do have a sphere of influence the more 'successful' you become. Would you rather be rich, or rather be right, do you want to 'cash in' or stay true to yourself and your trade. I used to think 'be true' and all that, but in so many ways that's a statement dismissive of hard work. Often individual don't want to invest the intellectual capital to get to the point where they can 'sell out,' so why toil with the question.

I'm working hard to get to the point where I can 'sell out.' Cuban talks about how it doesn't suck being rich, and I'd have to agree with him. I often ask people, would you rather be rich, or would you rather be right. The answers vary, and the way the question is framed is always intriguing. Some say 'I'd rather be right with myself than be rich, if that's what you mean.' -- I've always thought, 'I'm always going to be right with myself, no question about that,' -- Others say, 'well i know I'm not going to be rich ever, so I just want to be right'- as it pertains to a difference of opinion.

I'd rather be 'rich' at the sacrifice of my opinion or stance on business and technology, and I'm going to choose the vessel I think is going to get me there. Once there, I can be like Spiderman, 'With great power comes great responsibility', that's what's philanthropic, fun, challenging, inspiring.

With your sheets like metal and your belt like lace, And your deck of cards missing the jack and the ace

I've always equated life to the card game, especially finding that special someone or something. The idea has always been if you demand the best, you will get the best. My 'me blog' helps me internalize thoughts and feelings.

Two pairs, full house, straight, flush -- I think the main thing to do is achieve consistency in knowing when to hold em' and when to fold em'. There's plenty country boys out there that have a 45,000 dollar truck in front of a trailer house, hence full house on the truck, high card on the house. Lots of times I fold, I'm looking for the high stakes hands, while doing that I find the high stakes players. Poker is still poker, regardless of if you're playing with a bunch of smucks or you're playing with innovators in the field.

I know a lot of people who 'have a system' as it pertains to 'the game,' -- I.e., if you have these cards, you do this, if you have these, you do this. Although these individuals are successful, I can't comply with the ideology. Someone once told Wal-Mart as they were entering their online prescience, you're not going to out Amazon Amazon.com -- hence Wal-Mart didn't play a heavy hand. Same thing with fly by the seat of their pants entrepreneurs, the question always becomes end state -- doing it for fun, fine, doing it for exposure, cool, doing it to make money -- think about how many twitter knockoffs there are, is it that the heavy hand you want to play?

I've been thinking about 'the bubble I'm in' and framing thoughts in this way. As I sit here tonight, I realize its more of a time management thing, and an opportunity cost thing. There are activities that will enhance my future, some that have no impact, and there are some that have a negative impact on my future. My entire 20's, minus the travel, there were a lot of activities I partook in that were a negative impact in my life, and right now my growing pain is trying to squeeze these out.

As your human plate tectonics shift, I've found that you can internalize conclusions, plant seeds and see what grows, live life with expectations but patience.

Well, it's time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year, We'll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer

Benny turns 70, Doug turns 50 -- Time to whip out the yard bird and footballs. Over 100 people here for the momentous occasion. The house is so big, it's a workout just going to the other room.

What does some of the 'younger' generation of the family look like? Carey, Corey, Bob and Josh, oral surgeon in Los Angeles, person who can fix anything, technocrat, and fireman respectively, a diverse group.

This was a great gift idea, brought the crowd to a stir with laughter.

In the garage, Corey beating up on me -- Certainly this is a changing of the guard. I used to manhandle these fellas, now I'm just worried about my back and bones.

Ben's TBird, a sweet little ride.

Finally, Jr and Collin, solving the worlds problems :)