Well the Race is On and Here Comes Pride in the Backstretch, Heartache's goin' to the Inside

Cruel and unusual torture, that's what it is. Going out to the pool where everyone has a swimmers body, hey nice back, hey nice legs, hey nice this and that. What can you say about me, ummm, nice belly sucka! Why hang your pride out there? Shit I guess its all about personal growth, turning your weaknesses into strengths and all that jazz.

Robert doesn't know how to swim, Queen Bee doesn't know how to swim, so Ashley and Sara are going to attempt to teach us how to be like a fish. Big Stacy, Austin's heated outdoor pool situated near Oltorf is the place for the magic to happen, we get there, there's all these professional lanes and such, yea, I'm going to get in this Olympic looking swimming pool and bounce around in the water playing with my rubber ducky, pfft! So, we get stage fright and not go near the water.

Instead we do what I do best, which is eat. H@i Ky is the place, east Oltorf is the location, great place, all things good. We've decided to kick up the gourmet eating club, inviting anyone who wants to come out once a week to eat at a different restaurant until we don't have one left uncovered in the entire city. H@i Ky gets two thumbs way up from me for quality of food, service and a badass selection and a quaint environment.

Our new plan of attack for getting our swimming lessons on is to go at 7 am in the morning, when the polite lifeguard said there aren't nearly as many people. Wish me luck, I still gag at the thought of swallowing some of that chlorine filled water. Excuses, Excuses, Excuses --