Gangsta Dawg - Puttin a Cap in Yo Azz

Today was make Benny miserable day, as we envisioned what Benny would look like as a gangsta dog. We decorated him with some bling bling in the form of a nice necklace with the money sign, and a backwards Boston Redsocks hat.

When asked, Benny what he was doing all snazzed out like that, he simply stated. I'm goin' out on the town to hang out with my b*tches. I'm gonna hop in my toaster on spinnas and head down the the east side mutha f*cka.

Later that evening Benny was spotted with a gun!?, Jennys BB gun used to shoot the squirrels that infest her plants.

When asked, Benny said, Look fuckas, when you live in the ghetto, there's just things you gots to do. I'z gonna have to settle something personal, and that's all I have to say. I'm not going to shoot Tupac or Biggie, but its something I'z gots to take care of.

Man that was a totally f'in lame attempt at humor, well i tried. Just look at the benny pictures, they're funny.

Your Fish Is My Command - Rockfish

Due to inclimate weather, I didn't make the bachlor party in Dallas. Therefore we decided to loaf all day and then try out Rockfish, south I35 and something. The dizzle, Kristin, Jenny and I were riding in the drizzle and stumbled on to the place.

The price was excellent, the Grilled Mahi Mahi was right on, and the gumbo was to die for. The setting was chill, not romantic or anything like that, and they play great tunes. They even give you some coins to pop in the juke box to play some yourself.

The place gets an A+ in my book, leaving with a full belly of happiness for about 18 bucks.

Geeks vs Nurses

A party, a kegger to be exact. Exactly when do you get 'too old' for these things? At any rate, the party was a blast despite my splitting headache which required me to retire relatively early, 1am. Mike P does the best introduction possible in the video clip. Watch that clip, seriously, its funny as shit.

The party wasn't meant to be geeks vs nurses, but that's the way it turned out. The geeks hung out downstairs and the nurses upstairs. While we talked about microchips downstairs, they talked about poop upstairs. We even got the 'we got spirit yes we do we got spirit how bout you chant going,' Well, not really.

Mike P gives new meaning to the song 'Dancin with myself', and at times I thought the floor was going to cave in, but she held, thank the stars. Later in the evening someone pulled out the Latino music and there was a Latino Congo line in Jenny's room, a quite interesting scenario.

Dr. Huxtable, or the diz, however you want to see Mr Dorky sweater. Mike D says the worse part about the new job is having to dress up all the time.

Then there's Jenny and Kristin, my o my. Kristin, sportin' her push up bra and 90 dollar pants for the evening.

Then there's the beast hoisting up Bob for a keg stand. Yea, that was pretty fun, Bob's pretty big and the beast was struggling.

There's there doc, John and Ashley, Ashley with the short hair these days, still don't know what I think of that Ash, but you go girl. The doc was the last one to leave the party so I hear.

A floated keg, tons of pimms and ritas consumed, no drama, all and all a lovely party.

Whistle While You Work

In keeping up with the year of good attitude, I've become a happier person at work. The place is full of challenging technology, administration (or lack thereof), and most definitely politics. The next place I go to work I will embrace with open arms and say "I love you whatever the place may be," until then I chalk this job up to building character, tons of it.

Gman and I, buddy buddies now, see Mike D and P, we don't need yall! Actually I miss both of you a lot. We got Gman involved with all sorts of sh*t these days, a valuable dude, once you learn how to work with him.

Our stack of 2650 hotties in the corner, enough horsepower in this laaaaab to do all sorts of interesting things.

Laptop blows up, so now I'm using a tablet PC, boy it sure does make me look important lugging this thing around, much much better than a clipboard. Friends at work always know when I'm in the sh*thouse for something, I carry the dreaded clipboard around.

Being tactful, running your mouth to the right people at the right time is a skill, I don't have that skill here anymore, my political career is ruined here, but overall I portray a decent attitude, all things considered.

Next week I start my PMP certification process, which will last thru the summer, Monday and Thursday afternoons, then I'll seek 'greener pastures,' in the form of an employer who is tooled better for results.

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I am re-reading 'Atlas Shrugged', Ann Rynd idealists capitalists ideology etc to help balance me out, considering this place seems to struggle to get anything done. Read it when I was a kid (20), and didn't understand it that well. Anyway, here's some empowering quotations from the woman herself, thru her prose.

"The three cardinal values of the Objectivist ethics ... are: Reason, Purpose, Self-Esteem, with their three corresponding virtues: Rationality, Productiveness, Pride."

"The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it's yours. But to win it requires total dedication and a total break with the world of your past, with the doctrine that man is sacrificial animal who exists for the pleasure of others. Fight for the value of your person. Fight for the virtue of your pride. Fight for the essence, which is man, for his sovereign rational mind. Fight with the radiant certainty and the absolute rectitude of knowing that yours is the morality of life and yours is the battle for any achievement, any value, any grandeur, any goodness, any joy that has ever existed on this earth." John Galt quote that ended AR's last public speech (New Orleans Nov 1981)

Everybody Seems to Think I'm Lazy, I Don't Mind, I Think They're Crazy

The night is spent dissecting Gawker, Lifehacker, and Delicious, as Mike P and I are trying to figure out how to make some cash. The Beast says Mike P has sold out, since his blog is no longer personal, says he used to be called Mike P, now he's P Money. Actually Mike P has an agenda, and that agenda is to draw 1,000 hits per day to his blog by May. If he succeeds at this, there's a world of opportunity in this 'content massaging.'

Well there's me, the beast has a new digital camera, and he decides to take a picture of sleeping beauty, or beached whale, however you'd like to see it. OK ladies, you can breathe now, and your heart can start beating again.....hahahaha.

Funny thing about the picture, Jenny's friend Rosie comes over and sees me in the chair like this, I'm sure she thinks I'm in my birthday suit.

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“We are ashamed of everything that is real about us; ashamed of ourselves, of our relatives, of our incomes, of our accents, of our opinions, of our experience, just as we are ashamed of our naked skins” -- George Bernard Shaw (RB Rebuttal -- Whateva George)

“My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.” -- Rodney Dangerfield

The Thrill of Running, Catching, Throwing, Taking Orders from a Moron

Shiner High School football team, 1995, one of the better teams of at the time, we were one of the smallest 2A schools, yet we were ranked 3rd in the state. But....the mighty Schulemburg was #1 and the mighty East Benard was #5 in our district. Didn't make it out of district, which is a tragedy for Shiner football, but so be it, there's always next season.

Shane Leckler, or however you spell it, Mr All Pro kicker for Oakland was on the EB team, I caught some of that bastards punts, and he ran me over a few times, my football 'claim to fame.' Also I recall Jamie Jackson jumping up between me and Marty Boehm (white men can't jump) and saying "You Got to get up if you want the ball," as he jumped over our outstretched hands to catch the touchdown pass. If I knew how to cuss back then, I would have said "Bitch Please."

I returned the kickoffs and punts, simply b/c I could catch well and wasn't scared when a bunch of meatheads ran down the field at me. I also recall being physically but not mentally there when teammates would slap me hard on the helmet to get me motivated. O Boy O Boy.

Click on the picture to make it bigger, and look at badass Mr #17 with hair parted on the right.

Brings back memories, I enjoyed my football time, showed me the value of teamwork, etc, and the stories could go on and on and on......

Voxtrot - Emos Austin

Voxtrot performs at Emo's, packed to the rafters inside, let's see what I remember.

Going into the gig I'm expecting to see Belle and Sebastian's little brother, and the band aids, or extreme front row fans tell me the lead guy of Vox went to school with one of the dudes in B & S back in Glasgow, and judging from their EP, same sorta sound.

Get there, and I know it was a good show, but Emo's has a tendency to make anyone in there sound like shit, and the Happy Valentines Day tequila shots were pretty potent. Stayed way up front for a few songs, got the jist of the band, matching little outfits, as the beast loves it as he describes them as so "WHITE," having the appearance of the typical scrawny indie rock band. Viola bass, lots of shit in Bb, can't say much for lyrics yet, and from what I saw, a pretty damn talented group of individuals.

As for the comparison to Belle and Sebastian, a long way to go for that. They for sure have to develop more heart and soul, and perhaps even talent to hop up there with the 'big dogs,' however, nevertheless a great performance and well worth the *, I mean 8 bucks.

If You Find Yourself Caught In Love, Say a Prayer to the Man Above

Greetings, coming to you live from Valentines day, 12.01 am. A very tricky day indeed for singles and couples combined. Tossing the cynicism out the window for the day and concentrating on 'The Power of Love' as Huey Lewis says. Let the rock and roll love song cliche begin.

There is a lot of gravity to love, as Mr Gray puts it 'million miles beyond what science understands,' and I'll give it that. Love can build a bridge in proper Judds fashion, Pat Benatar says love is a battlefield, Michael Bolton says that love is a wonderful thing, makes you smile in the pouring rain, and Stacey Q speaks to the dynamic of two hearts beating as one. Today we celebrate what virgil says, and that is that loves conquers all. The Beatles say all you need is love, and that's truly what it's all about. Damn I can't believe I just quoted Bolton back there.

Congratulations to all the lovers, I hope you have a splendid day. I envy you guys with stars in your belly, and as for us singles, BURT assures us -- I know it won't be long till happiness steps up to greet us, till then we do like the Eric says and run on faith.

We've all been in love and we all know that wonderful feeling. David G puts it best 'so often it happens that words prove useless in the face of how it feels.' So on this day, cheers to love and that feeling, it deserves it.

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Sha Sha like Ben Kwilllllllia says, The Perfect tidbit for one of the candy hearts that taste like Pepto

Just Like California to Make a Fool of Me, Steal the Sideshow, Burn the Disco, Slide into the Sea

One of those things, while I'm sitting here in Austin, Rolando from Los Angeles is always making new friends. He's a bartender for posh parties and meets celebrities all the time. Last Wednesday he was the bartender for Kayne West's Grammy party. He was mingling with the likes of, and pardon me if i misspell some of these JZ, Nelly, Kayne, Snoop and other he didn't know.

Snoop and Roland had a moment, discussing 'life' at the bar. Just look at Roland trying to look all cool in this picture. Rolando, damn you are cool dude, and I miss you brotha.

One of these days I just may take up Rolando's standing offer to move to LA and work these parties and be an IT professional over there, but LA, damn, can you say armpit?

For all of you friends of Roland who read this blog, Roland will be in Austin Friday for our 'blowout party', maybe he'll even help trash our place?

I Won't Dance in a Club Like This, All the Girls are Sluts, and the Beer Tastes Just Like Piss

Today was helping Mike and Laura P move day. Ms. P (Mike P's mum, who I found out is also a reader of the blog) called me a 'prolific' writer, which was a great compliment, thanks Ms. P, you are a great person :-). Later that day, Laura P called me "He Man," because when it comes to moving I really don't fuck around.

Moving 'stuff' is tangible work, kinda like mowing the lawn, the grass is tall, you mow it, it's not tall anymore. There is a truck full of stuff, the truck is now empty. It is quantified that I've done work. Working as a computer geek, sometimes all you do all day is debug code, making very little quantifiable output, except 'eliminating possibilities.'

Enough scientific moving talk, morning begins nursing my Caipirinha hangover at Juan In A Million, East 1st street, the place to be for breakfast. These are the nicest people you can imagine, and the owner himself gives you a handshake as you walk in the door. The Don Juan, a huge plate of bacon, egg, potato and cheese is all you need, for 3.25, its the best deal in town for breakfast, period. I must mention the hot sauce will put some smoke in your pencil that's for sure.

The U-Haul, first thoughts, Holy Shit, this is going to be a long day. Worse parts are always the couches, then the beds are the next worse, then coffee tables and stuff like that. When you are down to the boxes with books, you are good to go. Putting some monkey wrenches in the works, the house is down a really steep hill, and not really a 'clear path' to the house. The mechanisms for coping with a sore back are having The Specials 'Night Club' song running thru your head and you are working the calves up the hill.

Mike and LP's new back yard. Yes you can throw bodies back there and no one will find them. I think I actually did see a skeleton laying back there. There is also a host of 'professional dancers' as their neighbors, very beautiful and outgoing girls.

Later the evening a rush trip to Shiner to visit moms and go to Dustin's wedding shower. Dustin is the beasts brother. Here's a picture of the band 'Two Lovers and a Brotha.' That used to be the band name when I was briefly going out with the beasts sister Leslie. We still collaborate, but not under that name anymore. Check out the beast with bare midress. The beast ate 4 hamburgers that night and was acting like a wiener

Crawled in bed 5 a.m. back a mess, overtired, and full of pre-wedding banter from Dustin, as he jumps off the deep end this April. Congrats!

The Pavement Cracks when I Fall Down, I've Got More Chins than Chinatown

Taking a page out of Weird Al's 'Fat' parody, we ate a scrumptious meal at Sao Paulo's, near my favorite and now local pub the Crown and Anchor. Caipirinha, an extremely wicked drink made with lots of Sugar and sweet rum, tastes kinda like a margarita, but a lot stronger, and the sugar guaranteed to leave a vicious hangover. I ate some shrimp wrapped in steak with some sort of mushroom sauce, and it was delicious. The tab for six of us was 130 bucks, which wasn't bad considering the service and atmosphere was brilliant, some amazing classical guitar players. I actually went to the pisser a few times just to hear them.

Nothing is finer that high resolution digital pictures and photoshop cropping that capture the moment of the dizzle chomping on some bisteak, hopefully not perro.

Later in the evening Barfly's was the place to be, as the beers are 2 bucks, and the good beers (which are actually good) are 2.50. Nothing like buying a round for 4 for 8 bucks! Sarah B (and yes Sarah B I spelled your name right this time), Ms. About to Pass Out in the Bar. Yea, that's what you get for hanging out with veteran drinkers ;-).

Next week's place will feature probably some Tex Mex, as there are a few places on the radar that are getting attention. Stayed tuned for 1 centimeter getting added to my behind every week.

Callin' Elvis, Anybody Home

If anyone is interested in the following let me know, the more the merrier.

• 2/10 -- Tonight -- The Gourmet Eating Club (no we aren't eating endangered species) -- queen bee, beast, Kristen, Ashley, Mike D etc, are trying out the restaurant Sao Paulo's
• 2/14 -- Kitty Kitty Bang Bang with BBQ, Beer and Burlesque. Brittani Spears, Sarah B and Queen B are in, man I'm gonna be swingin' 3 chicks on my arm. Calling dudes for balance (what am I thinking, calling dudes?!)
• 2/17 -- The party of the century, our place, the dreaded keg of beer, Queen's birthday, Kristen going away party. We are expecting a lot of people, any non-dillhole can come.
• 2/18 -- Bachelor Party in Dallas for the wonderful Brandon Riveda!! -- Looking for a friend that may want to sneak out a bit early from the bachelor party and head to Deep Ellum and catch some live music, get mugged, and car broke into to boot.
• 2/19 -- Supergrass / Pilotdrift -- Two great bands, one great night of music at the parish to officially reign in the queens birthday.

Somewhere in there is clothes washing, how the hell does that stuff sneek up on you all the time, that's what I want to know?

Of Montreal - Emo's - Such a Burden to carry ’Round The Vestiges of Dead Dreams

The show begins at midnight, so I do like any other old man would do and take a nap before the show. Story of the night, Emo's, people trying really hard not to try, as the hipsters sell the place out. Another famous star said you can't dress trashy till you spend a lot of money, and the vintage attire worn by these kids has to have put a dent in mommy's pocketbook, or taken a significant chuck of their paycheck working their part time gig at Quiznos or the equivalent.

Of Montreal, The Sunlandic Twins album is great, take a love child between The Cars and Suede, and that's what you get. In that mix I'm taking away from the cars a lot, and giving to Suede a lot. The show was high energy, so high that Queen Bee, Sara B, and a host of others watched from the cheap seats. At times the queen and I would venture closer, only to be met by some dumbass kids being dumbass kids, so back to the bleachers it was. Big time story of not hating the band, but hate the fans.

At times the band would sound like a big run on sentence, and I couldn't really describe them as being 'tight,' we were outta there by a bit after 1, I got some beauty sleep (which I need all I can get). Despite all the criticism, for $12.50, an excellent night of music.

S

Swing it Out and Use it as your Aphrodisiac

A Gomez sort of evening while researching all sorts of stuff. Blast from the past, the beast, Ashley B, Franzi, myself and Jenny. Franzi was in for Kimmie and Randy's wedding and she stayed with me in Austin for the week and we enjoyed walking, shopping, etc. The beast had long hair back then, and I was pushing about 235. Franzi now has a beautiful daughter and is getting married this year, and I hope to be there for the wedding.

Gomez has about 1 zillion guitar effects and a raspy lead singer, one that keeps me going going back. Rosalita, In Our Gun, Get Myself Arrested, Rhythm & Blues Alibi are amoung my favorite tunes if you decide to check them out.

Behind the smile on the picture lied an inflamed nut sack from a sporatic trampoline accident previous weekend, but nevertheless I was a champ for the week.

What Do You Care What Other People Think

A chronicle of some of the life and times of Richard P. Feynman, a brilliant scientist, who worked on the Manhattan Project, won a Nobel prize, etc. Just finishing the book, my initial thoughts tell me to focus on what is relevant, there is reward in questioning.

Two main parts of the book, a cute love story of how he met and fell in love with is wife, who eventually dies of terminal cancer, and the second part, Nasa vs politics, and who was responsible for the Challenger accident. He describes government projects that start out with ideal plans and intentions, and eventually fall in quicksand because of poor communication, planning and management. Damn, where have I seen that before?

What do you care what other people think? It's a great question. I try not to care for the most part, but I do need to start dressing better, not being so sloppy everywhere I go, 'Dress for the job you want, not the job you have' , I was once told. Just for the record, I got my annual review today, and under the appearance section, I got 'meets expectations' instead of 'needs improvement,' so I guess I'm batting par.

I suppose this is worth significant elaboration, but for now, I'm continuing my habit of somewhat early to bed, somewhat earlier to rise.

I Just Flicked Off President George, I'm goin' to Disneyland

My piece of Superbowl cynicism, broken into chunks.

Hanging out at Garth's and Steph's amazing house / amazing local was great, great company, but the game didn't impress me much, as it never does. I went for the team from Seattle, simply because I thought they had cooler uniforms.

Erin Neville needs to hang it up, I know that's his style, but holy shit, squeezing to get that sound out of a body builder just doesn't seem right. Mrs Franklin, the natural woman, I can't help but think of tampons. The Stones, Love em, surely, Start it Up, can't help but think of Windows 95. Sir Paul was excellent last year, and I really enjoy his new album, produced by Nigel Godrich, the whole album seems washed out, it reminds me a lot of Tom Petty Wildflowers, which is probably my most favorite TP album.

The commercials, people say watch the Superbowl for commercials. Yea, I don't know, whatever I suppose, maybe they're good. I suppose it's cool to see a big robot and a monster fall in love and deliver a hummer. I suppose I'll just let it slide that most Americans have bad taste in beer too.

21-10, the blue uniforms don't win the game, I'm sad, I'm bloated from all kinds of food and ritas, allergies are getting the best of me, and now I'm back at work, a place where despite it's hectic because everyone is quitting and we aren't hiring anyone to take their places, I can finally 'rest' a bit.

Tennis Anyone?

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PS -- Look at Roethlisberger getting smashed (thanks Steve)

PSS -- Google spell check just told me I needed to capitalize Superbowl.....ooops, my bad...

Mama tried to raise me Better, but her pleading, I Denied

Mummy's birthday party was ruined due to a bad case of the gout, therefore making it hard for her to move about. It finally dawned on us to grab the rolling chair out of our store and push her around in that, but nevertheless the party was cancelled.

Mom is very practical, not really hard to please, but really hard to shop for, therefore every year I get her something corny, something that will make her laugh, or something that is cheesy sentimental (me? naw!....) This year I got her this ostrich looking creature, and she seemed to love it.

Here's my beautiful mum with her new bird. It has very long legs!

Other Shiner news, my brother Ronnie loves tomatoes so much, he decides to get a jump on planting them, buys these 'walls of water' to keep the tomatoes insulated enough to grow, even though its a bit too early. He's the coolest organic farmer I know! hahaha

Happy birthday to mom, as I'm typing this up she's hopefully getting some stuff to clear that up.

And by the way, like Tenacious D says, 'The Road is f*cking hard.'

Goin' to this Big House and We're Gonna Have a Wedding Shower

Under the San Antonio sun was the setting for the evening as myself and my beastly looking date went to Brandon and Brandy's wedding shower. The house could have been the most 'awesome' conventional suburban home I've ever been inside. Walking in, breaking the ice is always fun. The beast and I take a seat by the fireplace, and begin to snap pictures, as like tourist in the Taj Mahal or something like that.

Brandon, Chris and I, I felt brain waves coming off of both of these technical geniuses. Chris flew in from Paris to be at the event, and it was great to catch up with him, and it's always a pleasure to hang with Brandon.

Karen and I seem to the be only singles in the building. By the end of the night, the crowd had loosened up and the good times were rollin', until we had to get rollin' for my mammas birthday party in Shiner. Here's a sinister lookin' peace shot.

Can't wait for this wedding next month, should be great times catching up with more old friends.

A Day in the Life

A typical Friday, let's do next Friday.

Logan's, a nice neutral place to go to have fun with an eclectic mix of friends. Yasu and Aya came out for the evening. These two are fun to hang out with, smiling all the time, and what can you say about the jello shot, whoever invented them should be killed.

A very eclectic group on the evening, Ashley, Eric, beast, Kristen, Queen Bee, Mike D. Lots of different perspectives in this mix made for a great night of banter, just gotta watch out for the beast, who has a tendency to hit on every chick in the house. hahaha

I wouldn't consider either of these girly girls, but just enough. These two are great people.

Spoon - La Zona Rosa

As I curse the stars above during the day, the musical gods gave me the nod for the night. Back to back sold out performances, tonight and tomorrow night, Spoon, kickin' ass and taking names. Thanks to a hookup I was able to catch the gig and meet the ladies (Jenny, Ashley, Sara, Kristen, Brittani) for a night of spoon'ing (hahaha).

Such a hard band to define, technical, they look like they're all about business, but you can tell they're having fun. Amazing lyrics, strange low to high harmonies, great use of keys, bizarre / erratic guitar riffs, gee I could go on forever.

Another successful concert, leaving me groggy for my 2 o'clock important PSB re-engineering meeting, but well worth it, a big time shift in gears from Ozo to Spoon making me feel like the luckiest dude in Austin for the evening. I even bought the special print commerative poster for the two shows and a tshirt, so I suppose I went 'shopping' last night too!

Kristen and Ashley enjoyed themselves, Queen Bee and Sara B had too much to drink, BS is badass, and baldly drove a bunch of boozed up chicks home while floating on cloud nine.

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"It took its time a-working into my soul
I got to believe it come from rock and roll."
-- The Beast and Dragon Adored, Spoon